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Old 22-07-2019, 06:51 PM   #681
one_step_closer
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It sounds like she is a good support and has your best interests at heart. Would you not trust her to do what was right for you? What is it that you think you need to do when you are discharged?





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Old 22-07-2019, 06:56 PM   #682
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She said she was very concerned about me and that if I'm not coping in hospital how will I cope in the community. She said she's gonna try and come to my ward round Wednesday depending on her commitments. So I'm worried. I do trust her so much more than anyone probably but I can't stand it here any longer. I need to kill myself.


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Old 22-07-2019, 07:06 PM   #683
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What makes it difficult in hospital? Are there other options for you when you're discharged?





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Old 22-07-2019, 08:20 PM   #684
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Just everything. I don't think so. I think this is the end for me.

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Old 22-07-2019, 11:15 PM   #685
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I know it can be scary and if she seems to be carrying this much about you, hopefully you can open up to her and let her know how you're feeling. I know you don't want to stay in the hospital any longer than you desire and yet it still sounds like this is where you need to be until you can be feeling safer. I know it feels awful oh, because I've been in and out of hospitals my entire life practically and all I ever wanted to do when I was in there was get out. And yet deep down I knew that I needed to be in there until I was feeling safer. Maybe if you open up to these people or at least to the psychologist oh, you can get the help that you truly need. If the meds aren't working then maybe an open and honest discussion with someone and get them to do a different Med adjustment and get you something that can help you. I don't know I'm just basing this off of my own experience. I just know I'm concerned about you because it seems like you're just wanting to get out so you can hurt yourself and that's not helpful in any way. Try to hang in there and try to be open to let them know.



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Old 23-07-2019, 09:57 AM   #686
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Thanks for your reply. Problem is I'm likely to be discharged tomorrow so I won't get a chance to talk to the psychologist again. Yeah I guess that's true but please don't be concerned.

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Old 23-07-2019, 11:08 AM   #687
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Would you consider seeing if you can stay for a bit longer and properly work with the psychologist this time around? Is there a way someone can contact the psychologist before tomorrow so you can speak to her about things if she's the person you trust?





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Old 23-07-2019, 11:16 AM   #688
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Well my section is up in a few days so I think I'm going home. Also the psychologist goes on annual leave for 2 weeks soon so I guess there's no point.

She said she's gonna try and come to my review tomorrow depending on what time it is.

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Old 23-07-2019, 11:33 AM   #689
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I think you need to try and be honest with someone though. Are there other people you might be able to talk to?





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Old 23-07-2019, 11:36 AM   #690
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Yeah my favourite nurse is on today but she isn't allocated to me. I think I'm just gonna wait til tomorrow and see what they say about my section.

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Old 23-07-2019, 11:42 AM   #691
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Would you still be allowed to talk to your favourite nurse if she had time? It might be better to be more prepared than just wait and see what happens tomorrow. You said in your R/V that you wish you had someone supporting you on Wednesday (if this isn't ok to post here let me know and I'll delete it) what would you hope for if you had someone supporting you?





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Old 23-07-2019, 11:46 AM   #692
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I don't know. I meant like an advocate or someone who's actually on my side

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Old 23-07-2019, 11:56 AM   #693
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I don't think people are really taking sides, but I know how you feel. Could you clearly say what you are thinking and what you would like? If you say that you don't want to be on the ward but feel unsafe then maybe you could ask for additional support at home.





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Old 23-07-2019, 11:58 AM   #694
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I don't know what I want anymore. All I keep thinking about is killing myself. I have a plan so no amount of support in the community would be enough

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Old 23-07-2019, 12:16 PM   #695
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An advocate wouldn't support you to go home and kill yourself. I'm sure you know that so there must be something additional you'd like if you are wanting someone to support you?





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Old 23-07-2019, 12:20 PM   #696
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I wouldn't tell the advocate that though

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Old 23-07-2019, 12:25 PM   #697
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Didn't you already say to your psychologist that you feel that lying is the only way you will be discharged? If so I can understand why they would be concerned and unlikely to take what you say at face value, even if you did have an advocate or someone with you.

I also reckon it would be worth talking to your favourite nurse if you get the chance.





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Old 23-07-2019, 12:27 PM   #698
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Something like that. But they haven't got any evidence to put me on a section 3 so I'll be going tomorrow. I can't complain, this is what I wanted. To lie my way out and end it all.

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Old 23-07-2019, 06:54 PM   #699
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Would you consider seeing how things are when you're discharged before making this a concrete decision. What if you cause yourself physical damage that you then have to deal with? I can understand things feeling hopeless but people are trying to support you, with the depot etc, so it would be great if you could give that a chance to see if things could get better for you.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 23-07-2019, 07:20 PM   #700
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I don't think so. It's so hard for me because I just want to die and I have just been too scared of the consequences of telling psychologist/staff/doctors that. I have no idea what will happen tomorrow and I'm scared. I know I'm not ready to leave but I need to stick to my plan.

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