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Old 17-10-2014, 11:41 AM   #1
Snow White.
I am a fairy.
 
Join Date: May 2004
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I just got an awful messge on fb about my rape

Quote:
Originally Posted by facebook message
"you are an attention seeking little bitch!!!!! you WERE NOT RAPED by the male you are talking about!!!!stop spreading rumours you little trouble maker no 1 gives a ****!!!!sort your own little self esteem depressed issues out before you try and act like the 'victim' ****ing idiot!!!!!"

It was in my 'Others' folder, because I don't know her. We don't have any mutual friends. I don't know how she found me, my name isn't even my real name on facebook. So someone has told her my facebook name.

I'm shaking, I'm sorry to post this while I'm so emotional but it hurts and what is being said about me?! Who is talking about me? Obviously, he is. But who is she?

I'm not responding although I would LOVE TO, I'll just take it out in my rant thread instead.

I've asked my brother if he knows who she is, I probably shouldn't have but I'm shocked and shaking and it just happened.

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Old 17-10-2014, 12:48 PM   #2
[Luna]
 
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Oh love, I am so sorry you've received this message. How horrific!
I think not responding is a wise decision. Perhaps reporting her to facebook as that is abuse and is not acceptable.

Are you going to be safe? Could you do something to soothe yourself while you're feeling like this?
Keep talking here if it helps.

Please, please don't take on her words. You are none of those things. You are a wonderful, kind, strong person that has had something horrific happen to them that they don't deserve.

Sending so much love <3

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Old 17-10-2014, 01:17 PM   #3
Snow White.
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Thank you Emma <3

I've been saying all these 'strong' things to my friends who I showed the message to but it does get on my nerves a bit that he is talking about me in this way and obviously passing on that I have "depression/self esteem issues" etc. I just feel so uncomfortable about that.

This message was after I posted about it on fb. With many of the people I told I, for some unknown reason, gave him the decency of not using his name. I regret this now. He's obviously used my name and my facebook profile has been given to this girl so she can abuse me.

I've been distracting myself by looking up costumes for an event I am excited about, and talking to my friends about the text and how awful she is and how I am stronger.

But that doesn't mean this isn't stinging and running around and around in my head.
I refuse to get involved as it will only ever make things worse (she won't see my side!) but I have so many questions I'm never going to find out.
I hate hate hate how he is talking about me. It's to be expected I guess but it feels like I'VE done something wrong. I haven't, I promise I haven't.

Maybe I should have kept quiet


Last edited by Snow White. : 17-10-2014 at 02:20 PM.
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Old 17-10-2014, 01:53 PM   #4
Snow White.
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I feel uncomfortable and not safe.
I want to hide away and reject anything social and deactivate my Facebook and live in isolation.
Earlier today I felt that urge a little bit, now the idea of isolating myself seems even better.

She sent it several weeks ago so probably has forgotten it now so that's something. If she was really keen on attacking me she'd have found me or kept messaging me.


Last edited by Snow White. : 17-10-2014 at 02:09 PM.
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Old 17-10-2014, 02:49 PM   #5
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Isolation will only make you feel worse in the long run lovely. Keep talking to friends, family, professionals and us. We are here for you <3

Is there anything which would help you to feel safe? Maybe snuggling up with some blankets and your dog and putting on a disney film.

None of this is your fault at all. Don't let him have any power over you. He was in the wrong, and you have control over whether this is going to ruin you or make you stronger.



'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥


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Old 17-10-2014, 03:33 PM   #6
Snow White.
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Thank you Ames x

It's 1:30am here so I'm just trying to get sleep with some classical music on to help focus on thoughts. Tomorrow I've planned two fun things alongside homework so that will be good.

I'm not going to let this ruin me but it is still momentarily upsetting. I'm sure when I wake up and get more distance between the message and me I might feel better.

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Old 17-10-2014, 03:41 PM   #7
Wonderland.
 
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I do hope you manage to get some sleep lovely <3

Sorry I didn't factor in the time difference, but maybe an idea for the daytime another day.

I'm glad you have planned some fun things into your schedule. You deserve to have some enjoyment in your life.

It's natural for it to be upsetting, let yourself feel that, it's completely okay to feel like that, just don't let it consume you.

Have you spoken to the rape counsellor about the message you recieved?

Take care little one xxx



'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥


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Old 17-10-2014, 10:54 PM   #8
Snow White.
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Thanks again Ames ♡

I'm seeing her on Thursday so I'll discuss it with her then. I'm also going out for breakfast now with a friend so that will be nice.

Thanks for the validation that it's okay to feel a bit upset. I'm not going to let it consume me though, they're not worth it!

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Old 17-10-2014, 11:04 PM   #9
Serendipity.
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Hey lovely, I don't have anything to add right now I'm afraid, but I wanted to let you know that I've read, and I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. It is awful, and I think you're incredible for how you're dealing with it.

I hope you manage to have a decent day <3 Thinking of you and sending lots of love xxx



"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."


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Old 18-10-2014, 12:03 AM   #10
Amaryllis
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I am so sorry that this happened to you! You are incredible.

I don't know what to tell you, but even if it had gotten to court and he had gone to jail, some people still wouldn't believe you.

You know the truth.



Men come and go, but dust accumulates.

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Old 18-10-2014, 08:34 AM   #11
out_of_here
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That is so awful Snow White, I'm so sorry someone was so horrible and ignorant to send that to you. It's not true, and good on you for saying strong things and not letting this ruin you.

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Old 18-10-2014, 09:47 AM   #12
Snow White.
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Thank you all I really appreciate the support, I'm otherwise facing this alone so it means a lot to have you here to listen to me and help me out.

I've just had a huge whack of anxiety tonight, I thought I was going to have a panic attack. I've had a valium and I'm going to browse the internet and use mindfulness with my dog.

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Old 18-10-2014, 11:10 PM   #13
Serendipity.
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Sounds like you handled it really well <3 How are you feeling now lovely?



"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."


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Old 18-10-2014, 11:34 PM   #14
Snow White.
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I'm doing better. I didn't sleep well but I've been reading a book that is similar to the theory of the Law of Attraction and so trying to be positive about areas in my life that I've neglected and make goals to work on them. Step one is assignments today!

I've been focusing heavily on an upcoming Katy Perry concert on my birthday next month to cheer me up.

I told my mum about the message and we discussed what am awful thing it was to say and how she must be a pretty ordinary person. So the hurt is turning more into pity, , especiallyas I focus on good things to keep me in a good head space.

Thank you so much for checking in! Means a lot ♡

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Old 19-10-2014, 05:09 AM   #15
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It looks like you are feeling a little bit better, but I wanted to reply anyway. You are a strong person. There was a time when in your shoes I would have looked up every bit of information I could about her and then made her suffer. Some people NEVER believe the truth, even if you show them direct evidence of it. What she believes is irrelevant to your life and she will end up causing herself only misery through her hatefulness.
I'm glad you have support and people you could talk to about all this.

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