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Old 20-08-2007, 10:56 PM   #1
alice*BOB*
 
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i just need some support...maybe...please? - (SH/sexual abuse)

ok...firstly i wasn't exactly sure where to post this. sorry if it's in the wrong place.

i'm not entirely sure what i'm going to say here, so if i just start, and see where i end up...

right, about a month ago i got a phone call from the police. i used to have piano lessons when i was little...8/9 years old. i was told that my teacher had been reported for sexual abuse. the police man asked me if anything happened to me. this was totally out of the blue, and without thinking i said 'no'.

later...now thinking about it, i actually can't remember much of that part of my life. i can't remember these lessons. i can;t remember anything.

the worst thing...he was my dads friend. he still is as i understand it.

i keep thinking he's here. i can't sleep because i think he's in my room. i get freaked out when i'm in a room by myself. i canlt go outside when its dark. when i was driving home from my friends house the other night i thought he was in the car.

it's just made me so jumpy. i'm constantly panicking about it. the thought just won't go away. i'm just worried that i can't remember. is that good, or not? what am i supposed to do?

with this, and everything else, me wanting/needing to cut is getting so bad. its been a good two weeks since i last did, but i honestly don't know how long i can keep this up for.

my relationship with my mum is getting worse still. i can't stand the constant arguing.

its all just become too much for me. does anyone know what i could do? please? am i just blowing all of this out of proportion here? please, someone just say something?



And I dont want the world to see me
cause I dont think that theyd understand



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Old 20-08-2007, 11:55 PM   #2
Kame
 
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Hey sweetie, i'm not sure what to say to help, I just want you to know, you can PM me if you want to talk. *Big hugs* hold in there xx



You can't lose hope when it's hopeless.
You gotta hope more,
then put your fingers in your ears and go,
"Blah blah blah blah!"


I miss you Pip ♥


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Old 20-08-2007, 11:55 PM   #3
perfection is a flaw
 
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*hugs* im sorry youre struggling with all this. and youre definetly not blowing it out of proportion. its very confusing not being able to remember things that were possibly unpleasant.
obviously i cant say either way if anything happened or not but as you cant remember what happened you *could* be repressing the memories. i would advise you to get a good counsellor to talk about what ever happened.
please try not to hurt yourself hun.
stay safe and pm me anytime you want/need to chat xx





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Old 22-08-2007, 04:13 AM   #4
bloodletting
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*hugs* i can imagine how much that phone call must have freaked you out. obviously there are two ways this could go....
it could be that nothing happened with this man, maybe you don't remember because this wasnt a significant time in your childhood so you havent held on to those memories.
or he could have abused you and you have repressed the memories. in which case i would agree with above post..get some counselling and talk about it as much as you can.
it seems like it's important for you to know either way and help you to understand why you feel tha way you do right now.
you're doing really well by not cutting, especially with all that you are going through...stay strong hun.
take care xoxoxox



Do not follow the common path.....go where there is no path and leave a trail.....


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Old 22-08-2007, 09:21 PM   #5
alice*BOB*
 
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ok...so i gave into myself. its all started again. i feel so bad now, but...its like i needed it. now, its not going to stop, i don't think. none of this is becoming any clearer. i can't remember. i want to. well, maybe i want to. it's confused me so much. i'm off to uni in october. maybe i should just start a fresh. forget this happened. what is the best way to go about this? counselling...i don't know. its hard to open up. its one thing sat here, but sat infront of someone. my head feels...mushed!! its too much to think about. thank you for replying :)



And I dont want the world to see me
cause I dont think that theyd understand



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