I've fallen in love with my wife... and her sister.

[sincereCat]

I've been married to my wife for 10 years and still love her immensely. But for the past month I've been having feelings for her sister. I told my wife about it and she's been supportive but now that they haven't gone away I feel like I want to pursue a polyamorous relationship. My wife says she doesn't know what she wants to do. Part of her wants to try the polyamorous relationship "because I want you to be happy", but she doesn't know if she can do it. Thoughts of leaving me keep coming to her mind as well.

Her sister is living with us and has been for months. It wasn't until I started getting to know her that the feelings began, so I know it isn't just lust. I think I am actually in love with her, even though my feelings for my wife haven't decreased at all. For various reasons, I think they (she has a daughter) should stay living with us. But truth be told, I mainly want her there so I can keep talking to my wife praying she'll come around to the idea of a polyamorous relationship.

Oh, and the sister doesn't even know (for sure, anyway) that I like her. But I don't want to say anything because I don't want to mess up their relationship as sisters (in addition to our marriage). Any advice?

[t.d.i.a.s.d.]

being polyamorous is one thing. being polyamorous with in-laws (albeit technically legal on your part) is another question really.

my advice would be don't go there. so much of a mucky/questionable area in too many regards.

[Grrr....]

Your sister-in-law has a daughter this could be very confusing for (her mother dating her uncle?). And I can't even imagine how your wife must feel. Could your wife's sister simply remind you of the things you loved about your wife when your relationship was brand new that you just don't notice as much in her [your wife] anymore?

[sincereCat]

Okay, definitely time for an update!
My wife and I have done a 180. My feelings for her sister are still there, stronger than ever, but my wife told me a few days ago that she was starting to get used to it. More than that, yesterday she actually told me that part of her wants it to happen. That's right! She is seeing the idea in a very positive light, contrary to my expectations. She's been actively trying to get her sister to talk to me more (as friends, so we can get to know each other better). We have talked about how happy it makes me when we are all spending time together, and she says she loves seeing the look on my face when I'm enjoying their company. She really seems 100% okay with how I feel, and not at all insecure. That may be because we've become more affectionate with each other here lately, and we talk a lot about her sister and what would/wouldn't change if I had a relationship with her too.

I don't know what's ahead, but I had to share this unexpected turn of events. I will still want to be cautious moving forward. But right now, I'm even more in love with my wife than before because I feel like she finally understands what I'm seeing and feeling. Anyway, sorry this was so long-winded.