"Let's Pretend"

[Becca]

This would be the psychiatrists new thoughts for how to 'cure Becca'.

I should pretend my life is perfect and my disabilities can be cured cos then they will be.

This makes no sense to me at all.

In fact it was very upsetting. Asking me to pretend I had every need met - physically, emotionally, practically and financially and then asking me to tell him what I would be doing to make myself happy and 'person' again and then said I should pretend I am that person all the time.

I am having problems discerning reality anyway (apparently) and I don't see how playing games like 'lets pretend' will help me.

I'm really confused :(

[Wonderful.]

I have heard of this before!
It is usually used for depression and anxiety, I think...
Like instead of saying "Oh no I am going to fall over, I'm not going out" you have to think in a positive way? Is it like that?

In a way maybe pretending can make things seem a little better and not as scary, just taking yourself into a different mind set for a while.

It may seem such a silly idea, but psychiatrists usually know what they are talking about and you do seem to have a lot going on right now! Maybe it's worth a shot?
If it doesn't work for you, you can always express your concerns to the psychiatrist and something can be worked out!

(Not much help sorry)

Take care.
=]

[Becca]

I have been trying to do this. But the things he was suggesting were things like pretend your disabilities can be cured. They cannot be cured. Nor will they get better - they are progressive. I don't really see how pretending they can be will help me deal with how they aren't if that makes sense.

Also it appears (to me) to be adding a level of unreality to what I am already going through. I do get how it could help with incorrect thinking such as being afriad of going out but telling me to pretend my disabilities away isn't the same thing or is it?

Sorry am struggling a lot right now so this might not make any sense!

x

[ThinkingofRecovery]

Becca

Sorry, I don't really have anything useful to say but just want you to know that people here understand that you have a lot to contend with and that you deserve any help you can get!

Have you tried to go along with what your psych is doing? You never know. I realise it may seem silly in the face of all your difficulties but it could be a step? If not, if you are seen to be co-operating, their attitude towards you may at least improve. I know you shouldn't have to try to improve their attitude but it has helped me.

*hugs*

PS - Still can't hate you and glad to see you around here still.

[Becca]

Don't worry what you said is useful.

I find it hard playing lets pretend when I am trying to work out what is real anyway if that makes sense. I was really really upset in the session when he was doing it because I'm afriad of losing even more of my reality.

They are still trying to force me into dbt group even though they know I cannot afford it and will need care in order to do so. They view me not doing it as refusing to coperate and it is very likely if I do not I will be discharged but the fact is I cannot possibly afford taxis and care that would be essential. Plus, I was told today I'd be expected to be taking better care of myself generally as well - which would mean even more care being paid for. It is several thousand pounds. If they would pay for taxi that would save about 700 but would still leave impossible amount.

I struggle to get here now but thanks for the welcome back :)

[Steel Maiden]

The pretend game is very bizarre indeed. I find it odd that the council isn't paying for your treatment; they paid me to go to a private hospital when they couldn't find a PICU NHS bed for me.

[Wellingtons]

I guess the "pretending" gives you a visualisation of how you want your life to be - and from there you can start to put things in place that can get you to where you want to be (i.e. life when you are 'pretending').

It makes it easier than just blindly having treatments/therapies, when you can't see a hope, as it instills that sense of hope in you.

I'd suggest, anyway.
x

[Steel Maiden]

But what about when you come crashing back into reality and you suddenly realise that all this pretend stuff, was just a pretence? Its a harsh thing to fall upon.

[Wellingtons]

You remember that it's a goal, and you have a structured plan in place for how you can make that goal a reality, in seperate chunks.

I doubt the psych was expecting her to actually pretend to be in another reality (although maybe!), I'm guessing it was more about visualising how you want life to be, what that would invovle, what the main differences between that life and this current life is, and what (practical) ways can be put in place to get there.

It's a bit similar to a few questions I have been asked, along the lines of "If I had a magic wand, what would you make different".

Sometimes psychs say things, forgetting that we may not understand where they are coming from! I'd say the best thing to do is ask about it - you might get an interesting answer! :)

[Becca]

Thanks for the replies.

SteelMaiden is right, it's the crashing back to reality that is a big problem for me. I did ask today when I saw someone about it and then said I probably shouldn't employ it because of the huge difference between how I would like things to be and how they are and how what I want is not possible. Social services won't give me the support I need without it costing me, nor will I be able to afford heating. The medications aren't going to be funded. I won't get back the money I had to pay for private treatment so I can do my MA either. My 'Let's Pretend' is vastly different to how my existence is.

I think that makes sense.

[Steel Maiden]

It does make sense. I don't know what advice to give except that the "let's pretend" approach is phoney.