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Graphic - TRIGGER *** Feeling unsafe *** TRIGGER
I just don’t know what to do anymore. I quit taking my meds about a month ago. Since then things haven’t been good. I’ve been more and more suicidal everyday. Last week, I overdosed. My parents called me and they said I wasn’t myself. They said I was confused and I couldn’t talk. They were overseas so they called my cousin who came to help me. In the meantime, my cousin called my therapist and my parents called my psych. So I don’t remember the day much but in the end, my psych sent me to a hospital to get checked out and they recommended that I’m hospitalized and Insaid I didn’t want to and they let me go. In the meantime, I learned that my therapist and my cousin talked several times that day and the days after. I went to see my psych and therapist yesterday and I learned that my therapist told my cousin mostly everything about me, the voices, the delusions, everything. And that she will meet with my cousin because my cousin wants to learn about “how to support me”. My therapist says I need support that’s why she is meeting with my cousin and that she says she really trusts my cousin. But the thing is I don’t. And I just can’t stop thinking about it. I keep cutting and I’m really suicidal. Yesterday, it took everything just not to jump off my apartment. The things is I don’t know if I can trust my therapist anymore. I don’t know who I can trust. I’m really scared of being in my apartment because of what I might do. I feel really unsafe.
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