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Old 09-10-2010, 05:09 AM   #5021
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^^^^AGREED!!!^^^




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Old 09-10-2010, 05:11 AM   #5022
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ha! love it when i can take over for a while and sarah and hiding seem lost in fog far away..its nice to have privacy and totally feel like ME instead of her! =)




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Old 09-10-2010, 01:12 PM   #5023
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Hiding - I'm glad to hear that you've had a quieter and calmer few days, that's good. It doesn't mean that you've made Sarah and Sadie up! Sometimes I start to think then when the alters hide for a long time, but they are just hiding :-] Hope you have a nice weekend.

Sadie - Hope you are doing ok :-]

Kitkat - I'm so sorry, it sounds like a really difficult situation. Do you think you could talk to your mum? Perhaps she is just absorbed in her own struggles and hasn't been able to come outside of herself and notice your struggles. I know it can be very hard when people assume that things are just better now, when in actual fact it's a long and hard journey. Hang in there, and know that we are all here to support you.

Headaccccche.

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Old 09-10-2010, 03:03 PM   #5024
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Yeah I know, just HYPOCRITE!

Sorry to hear you have a headache Fraction.

Hi Izzie *waves*

-----

My friend is annoying me now. She's just triggering me SO BADLY. I was just on the phone to her and she was like "Urgh I'm so angry, I feel like ripping off my flesh and pulling out my hair." You cannot say that to someone who self harms? Does she not understand how incredibly irritating it is to hear that?? I have problems just trying to stop myself slashing my arm open and she can just say things like that like its anything?! And then she was like, "Does my Mum not know I threw up my food last night when I got in?" And that was triggering for me to hear too... I struggle with trying to maintain a healthy diet, let alone actually trying to keep my food down or prevent myself from restricting.

I'm so triggered right now

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Old 09-10-2010, 03:10 PM   #5025
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*sits in the corner*

hope everyone is ok

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Old 09-10-2010, 03:16 PM   #5026
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Sorry if I triggered anyone by posting that...

Hope you're okay Hazel *offers hugs*

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Old 09-10-2010, 03:23 PM   #5027
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ye, don't know... may hav been a bit norty and been drinking. got train in hour



hi Izzie by the way

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Old 09-10-2010, 03:26 PM   #5028
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Ohh okay. Well take care of yourself, I read your thread in the Abuse and Bullying Forum. *offers hugs*

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Old 09-10-2010, 04:05 PM   #5029
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Kat -- God hearing about what your mom said makes me so mad! >:( It sounds like you're just surrounded by toxic people in general, and for that I'm so sorry.

Izzy -- Welcome to the thread! All parts of you are welcome, just let us know who is posting somehow :)

Hiding -- In response to your other selves being quiet and doubting yourselves, my parts get quiet too when things are calm. Although when I begin to think I made them up, Luke usually just comes back with some snarky comment like, "Alters need vacations too. You just ruined my trip to Aruba with all your brooding." :)

---

So, I got a liver ultrasound yesterday. The doctor has to look at the images and I'll get the results on Monday.

Otherwise everyone inside is doing okay. I'm studying for the GED (a highschool equivalency exam, as I dropped out of high school), looking for a job, and going to therapy.

Hopefully everyone else is doing equally good or better :).



My name is Matt, and I am a boy. Feel free to PM me :)

I have learned that the world is not a safe place. Not at all. But there are so many people who love me and want to keep me safe. And that is enough.

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Old 09-10-2010, 04:20 PM   #5030
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Izzie - Welcome to the thread! You and all your other sides are accepted and welcome here, and I'm looking forward to getting to know you all :-]

Kitkat - Sorry that the people around you are so triggering and insensitive. I hope that you can get a break from it all and have a better afternoon.

Hazel - Stay safe *Hugs* Here if you need to talk.

Jen - Wow, I'm inspired by all the progress that you are making and the positive steps that you are taking for your future. How are you coping with all the things that are going on in your life? I'll be thinking of you on Monday and I really really hope that things are healthy physically.

*

We just went through the recording of therapy. Now gone blaaaaaaaaaaaaaank.

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Old 09-10-2010, 04:25 PM   #5031
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I keep getting all these questions that I can only give an answer which is what they want to hear.

For example:
"Your eating's fine now right?"

What do I say to that? "No it's not actually, I'm having a hard time trying to stop myself restricting and I just purged about 20 minutes ago, so yeah I'm absloutely fine with my eating".

Trying to work now, think I can just about manage that.

Fraction, sorry to hear you've gone blank. Is there any way you can sort of "remove" the blankness?

Sorry my words are all jumbled :/

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Old 09-10-2010, 05:14 PM   #5032
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thanks palemonn LOL @ luke sounds like something id say. thanks fraction.

things were ok last night until later when the high was wearing off..think it triggers flashbacks for me..
it was like a flood/combo of our diff fears and memoriesand just.. was bad..
why is it only me who gets them?
it sucks im suppossed to be the strong one not weak or scared..
i took a xanax and went to sleep with sarah's teddy hoping shed come to get us to sleep but she didnt..
not sure where they are.. i guess they are scared or something but its strange when hiding isnt around (when im not smoking weed)
i dunno just trying to make sense of it.. cause i dont understand.

sorry if im not making sense.
SADIE




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Old 09-10-2010, 05:19 PM   #5033
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Hope you're okay Sadie. Maybe you are seeing the flashbacks and experiencing all the emotions because you're the strongest one, and therefore more likely to be able to handle it?
I hate it when the high wears off... It's just back to reality and you feel incredibly rubbish.

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Old 09-10-2010, 05:33 PM   #5034
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thanks kit kat .. maybe youre right but man i hate feeling so vunderable like that.. super sucks..

do you ever experience flashbacks when you smoke? ive only had 2 so far..but both was when i smoked when it was wearing off




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Old 09-10-2010, 05:44 PM   #5035
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I totally know how you feel.

Hmmm... It depends what kind of weed I've smoked. I think a few times I've become really panicky and fidgety because I've felt penned in when I've been in a sleeping bag. I do feel "vulnerable" in a way when I'm coming off the high, but haven't really deduced what kind of vulnerable it is.

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Old 09-10-2010, 06:02 PM   #5036
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well we had some dro our cousin gave us.. nathan wont seem to get the hell outta my head this morning seeing his face and hearing him and ..
not really a full on flashback..but enough to bother me and piss me off and make my head fel foggy and fuzzy and i havent smoked anymore since last night-- that wore off.
sorry .. i need to stop freakin whining..
ugh..
SADIE




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Old 09-10-2010, 06:17 PM   #5037
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Hey (: good to talk to you again Sadie (:

Don't worry about talking about it, you're not whining, it'll be good to get it off your chest.
Kathryn's whining, you should check out her r/v thread... You think you're moaning.

I suspect her friend who said she threw up lied about doing so. I'm not best pleased with that, but she's coming over later so I'll have to put up with it.

Ayka

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Old 09-10-2010, 06:57 PM   #5038
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Someone on Formspring said, "Hey you created me. I didn't create some loser alter-ego to make myself feel better. Take some responsibility."

They're taking the p*ss, and it's annnoyed me. I know people can be insensitive... But what if I'm form-springing myself? Is that even possible? I'm confused...

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Old 09-10-2010, 09:04 PM   #5039
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bck in London now... in bedsit... haven't stopped crying since I got here... I was actually looking forward to coming back a few hours ago, but then it dawned on me that back to miserable life of not being able to afford food, stressing about rent and being alone and lonely and... eugh, I just want to curl up and die

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Old 09-10-2010, 09:23 PM   #5040
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Kitkat - Do you think it would be a good idea to be honest with people and tell them that you are struggling?

Sadie - It doesn't make you weak if you are scared or have flashbacks. In fact it makes you strong because you cope with so much. Hope you're ok.

Re: Weed... Smoking weed does kind of weaken the boundaries between reality and not-reality, so it's understandable that flashbacks would be more vivid and frequent if you have been smoking, as it's harder to hold onto the boundaries of reality. We used to smoke a lot, and I don't want to be lecturing or anything, but please do be careful with substances. They can do so, so much damage.

Hazel - Sending you big hugs. When do you next see Jack? Have you got a plan for how you are going to get through the next few days?

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