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Old 28-12-2019, 07:56 AM   #1601
MissGranger
 
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I feel like I have no one. No one I can talk to. I wish my psychologist was here. I feel so alone with everything.

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Old 28-12-2019, 11:02 AM   #1602
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I'm sorry you're feeling so alone. When is your psychologist back? Are there no staff on who you trust to speak to?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 28-12-2019, 07:00 PM   #1603
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Thank you. She's not back til the 6th Jan. Yeah there is one atm but I am struggling to ask for help

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Old 29-12-2019, 10:30 AM   #1604
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What makes it difficult for you to ask for help?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 29-12-2019, 02:15 PM   #1605
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I don't know. I just worry about rejection etc. But a hca did come and talk to me yesterday as she wanted to catch up so that was good. Hoping to go out on leave to the hospital shops with a staff member today as I've been stuck in since Friday and had no one to take me out. I'm going round my friend/church mentor's tomorrow for a few hours so that should be good

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Old 29-12-2019, 02:23 PM   #1606
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What does rejection look like in staff? If they didn't have time to talk to you that wouldn't really be rejection but I know it can feel that way. I'm glad you got to speak to the HCA yesterday, is she someone you're more comfortable with approaching for support? I hope you manage to get to the hospital shops today and enjoy your time out tomorrow.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 29-12-2019, 07:50 PM   #1607
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I don't know I'm just scared they will judge me or won't understand or won't take me seriously. But yesterday the HCA approached me and asked to catch up so I took her up on that offer. I managed to get out to the local m&s so got some nice comfort food to eat. Not sure what to do with myself now.

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Old 29-12-2019, 10:21 PM   #1608
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So suicidal. I wish my attempt had worked. Just sat on my bed listening to depressing music. Really didn't help myself by saying to one of the nurses I want to abscond and that I don't wanna take my meds anymore because they do nothing. I hope they let me out tomorrow

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Old 30-12-2019, 10:59 AM   #1609
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I'm sorry you were feeling so awful last night, how are you today? I know how painful it is to feel suicidal and hopeless.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 30-12-2019, 11:49 AM   #1610
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I'm sorry you have/do feel the same. It's horrible isn't it. Had a hard day but I requested to be seen by the new consultant as I hadn't been seen for nearly 2 weeks. He's increased my meds and suggested another depot, Flupentixol...not sure whether to agree to it or not but at least I have options I guess. Been very emotional and suicidal. He seemed pretty understanding and said the EMDR should help because he says I have PTSD symptoms. Going out today with a friend/church mentor and her 3 year old so that should be nice.

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Old 30-12-2019, 11:54 AM   #1611
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Well done for requesting to see the consultant. I've been on Flupentixol and think it was useful from what I can remember. I'm glad you have some new treatment options and I hope something can be found that is good for you. I hope the EMDR helps with your PTSD symptoms in the long term. Is it just one session you've had so far? I hope you have a nice time with your friend today.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 30-12-2019, 10:18 PM   #1612
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Thank you. Took a lot of guts to request to see him then go in there and be honest but I had to do it. Thank you that's good to know. Still trying to decide whether or not to agree to the depot or not as the embarrassment and fear of needles puts me off. Thanks I hope it does too, I see my psychologist when she's next back in next Monday so am hoping that goes well. Yes just one session so far. Thanks I did. x


Last edited by MissGranger : 31-12-2019 at 11:05 AM. Reason: Typo
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Old 31-12-2019, 02:12 PM   #1613
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How are things today?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 31-12-2019, 06:28 PM   #1614
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They are okay I've been very busy today trying to get organised etc. Been to my flat with my Dad. Just trying to decide what to do about the depot.

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Old 01-01-2020, 10:10 AM   #1615
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You're already on a different depot, right? So it wouldn't be too much of a change. Have they given you any other options apart from the depot? I hope you can decide what's right for you.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 01-01-2020, 02:40 PM   #1616
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No I was on Abilify/Aripiprazole and came off it I only had it twice then I begged to go back to oral so that's what happened. The only other option is they said they'd increase my Aripiprazole to 30mg which they've done but they still want me to consider the depot for Flupentixol.

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Old 01-01-2020, 03:56 PM   #1617
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That must be a hard decision to make. Have you listed the pros and cons and spoken to someone you trust about it? If it's going to help you in the long run I think the brief pain and embarrassment etc could be worth it.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 01-01-2020, 07:19 PM   #1618
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Well they gave me some info on it and they included a pro's and con's list in it. I think you're right I just really don't want it

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Old 02-01-2020, 01:53 PM   #1619
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Can you give each of the pros and cons a weighting? Like, how important they are to you? Such as a pro might be not having to take as many meds and you might give that a 6/10, and a con might be the embarrassment and you might give that a 6/10. Then look at them all and see what side looks to have the best weighting? I don't know if I've explained that very well, but sometimes there seem to be more cons than pros where some of the cons aren't actually as important as the pros.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 02-01-2020, 09:28 PM   #1620
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I'm not sure that would work for me but thanks for suggesting it. I'm just really uncomfortable with the idea now. Maybe I was stupid to even consider it.

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