Contains abuse - Feeling like my memories are incomplete

[LittleCloud]

I am in the process of training to become a foster carer. A part of that was to write out a timeline of my life. I feel like there are a lot of missing pieces and a lot of the behaviours I was often in trouble for are similar to trauma and crisis responses. I lacked the language to describe so much and there have been a few memories that have been hidden for years before coming up. I have been feeling numb and quite frightened since I wrote the timeline. Much of it I can master well enough to pass for normal but it does make me nervous there might be more missing. Most of my memories are quite patchy. I need to be together to be able to help the kids I will support.
Does anyone else have experience where they just don't know quite what happened or why they responded as they did?

[Uglyducklin]

Hi Hun yes I do . Can you talk to a therapist about this? Feeling numb and scared is horrid. Thinking of you x

[Gaiaphage]

Since reading, I've been trying to think about what I would write if I were doing what you have, and it's made me realise that there is so much that I wouldn't be able to fill in because I just can't remember. Do you have any professional support you could use to help you at the moment? Or any family/friends you really trust that may be able to help you fill in some gaps if you feel ready? xxx