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Old 12-05-2009, 02:57 PM   #21
Steel Maiden
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Its really good.



PM me if you want a PDF copy of the ICD-10 or the Mental Health Act 1983/2007. I ALSO HAVE THE DSM-V BOOK and am a pharmacology student.

I have a visual impairment / neurological problems so I need people to type in clear text and no funny fonts. Also excuse any typos, my vision blocks things out.
I have autism and have problems communicating, PMs included.
Just becasue I type well doesn't mean I speak well. I am only part time verbal.


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Old 12-05-2009, 04:55 PM   #22
bobbiwibble
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i do something that i have absolute control over and it can be very helpful :)

it sounds stupid but when I get flashbacky I redo my makeup. it's something that can be done in public too so it helps when i'm out with friends or my family. it's partly the thing chrissyann mentioned about looking at yourself in the mirror - when you put on mascara or brush your hair you notice the little details and how youve changed. its also something that you can do perfectly if youre used to wearing makeup, but its still something that requires attention so you wont be able to worry about bad things AND put on eyeliner


when I'm at home I splash my face with really cold water. the shock sort of brings me back to reality


great thread :) thanks

xxxxxxxxxx



heliotrope-lavender-candytuft-tulip-almond blossom-sycamore



Where do you turn when the night turns to singing
such sweet melodies and you flash your fin
then it's back to the depths where I cannot see you
but I built these towers just to honour you.....


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Old 18-05-2009, 09:30 AM   #23
Anouska
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Thanks for posting this. I am gonna try these and hopefully will help me deal with them x



when i fall, no one catch me
alone lonely, i'll overdose slowly
get scared, i'll scream and shout
but you know it wont matter she'll be passing out


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Old 22-05-2009, 09:38 PM   #24
l.e.g.o
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these ideas are great but alot focus on knowing abuse is over but what if tis not totally?
sorry



Emily-29.04.05

http://battlinglife.wordpress.com/

"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"


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Old 22-05-2009, 09:54 PM   #25
bobbiwibble
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my abuse isn't really over but they still help :)



heliotrope-lavender-candytuft-tulip-almond blossom-sycamore



Where do you turn when the night turns to singing
such sweet melodies and you flash your fin
then it's back to the depths where I cannot see you
but I built these towers just to honour you.....


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Old 22-05-2009, 10:04 PM   #26
shadow-light
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they hould still be helpful. but I guess ore of a reminding yourself that you're safe at that particular moment rather than reminding yourself that it's in the past...

I hope you're both ok

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Old 23-05-2009, 07:53 PM   #27
l.e.g.o
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sorry



Emily-29.04.05

http://battlinglife.wordpress.com/

"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"


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Old 07-06-2009, 01:32 PM   #28
bobbiwibble
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this should be further forward



heliotrope-lavender-candytuft-tulip-almond blossom-sycamore



Where do you turn when the night turns to singing
such sweet melodies and you flash your fin
then it's back to the depths where I cannot see you
but I built these towers just to honour you.....


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Old 31-07-2009, 12:10 PM   #29
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I hadn't discovered this before but thanks for posting. Could a mod sticky it? Even though there is a place on the main site not many people venture onto the main site when they have flashbacks, but often come to the boards.
For another thing to focus on control I have those rubbery bands on my wrist like this:
http://www.braceletsrubber.info/main_clip_image002.jpg
I find that i can 'flip' them over by making the underside the side up, when i stress out or get nervous I do this alot, so maybe it could help?




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Old 12-09-2009, 12:40 AM   #30
bobbiwibble
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*bumps*
some of these threads have gone shockingly far back!



heliotrope-lavender-candytuft-tulip-almond blossom-sycamore



Where do you turn when the night turns to singing
such sweet melodies and you flash your fin
then it's back to the depths where I cannot see you
but I built these towers just to honour you.....


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Old 13-11-2009, 06:58 AM   #31
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*bumps* again =]



Giving up doesn't always mean you're weak.
Sometimes it just means you're strong enough to let go.
"But it's the truth even if it didn't happen."


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Old 13-11-2009, 08:48 AM   #32
bobbiwibble
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ooh well done for re-bumping :) this thread should always be on the first page or near the top of the second, or stickied! it's helped me before and I've tried to link people to it but not been able to find the thread



heliotrope-lavender-candytuft-tulip-almond blossom-sycamore



Where do you turn when the night turns to singing
such sweet melodies and you flash your fin
then it's back to the depths where I cannot see you
but I built these towers just to honour you.....


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Old 13-11-2009, 11:31 AM   #33
Iclemyer
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this thread is really good :) i will try some of these.

when i get flashbacks i usually think of johnny depp (it sounds daft i know) when i think of that the flashbacks stop and i find myself reminding bits of his films and things like that. I know it sounds weird but it works for me



Breathe Deep And Without Fear
Rescue Is Possible
Love Is The Movement


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Old 21-11-2009, 08:10 PM   #34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Newlife View Post
these ideas are great but alot focus on knowing abuse is over but what if tis not totally?
sorry
A flashback is a flashback, regardless of whether the abuse is over or not. Admittedly some of the ideas relate more to the abuse being over.. but even those can be adapted to suit you. I used them during my abuse, and continue to use them now. The harder you try with the techniques, the better they will work =o)

Take care
Chrissy
xxx

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Old 23-11-2009, 12:33 PM   #35
shadow-light
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right, I've gone through the thread and condenced all the suggestions into a single list for easy access:


Grounding Technique.

It is basically using your senses to keep you in the present.

~Take deep breaths, in through the nose, out through the mouth, breathe in for the count of 4, hold for 2 and out for 5 (but counting slowly). This will stop you panicking.
~Think about all the things you can see, make a list (be that mentally, verbally, or actually written down, often a written down list can draw you back to the present easier), say them one by one, think about each of them, their texture, colour, where they are, etc.
~Think about what you can hear, and work through touch, taste, feel, as well, in the same detailed manner.
~Think about who you trust that is around you.
~Remind yourself of todays day, the date, the month, year.
~Tell yourself that you are safe and can not be hurt.
~If you can, look in a mirror, look at yourself now, at this age, remind yourself that you are safe, talk to yourself in the mirror.
~If appropriate hold something that grounds you, or that makes you feel safe, like maybe a little teddy, or stone, or keyring or something.

Keep doing it over and over and it will work, often doing it with someone can make it easier for you to focus on bringing yourself back to the present.

It won't be a quick and easy solution, but the more you practice the easier and more effective it should be.

Holding your breath and closing your eyes – Hold your breath for a little while and shutting your eyes really tight. It helps because when you open them again, the senses are heightened and you can concentrate on them for. The only thing is getting through the closing your eyes bit because it tends to intensify the flashback.

Don’t fight it – Flashbacks are horrible and scary that’s true….but the fact is you have already lived through this it can never hurt you in the way it hurt you back then. Fighting the flashbacks can often make them get worse. They wont to be seen and heard so they can be dealt with and you can heal. So when its safe to do so – don’t fight the flashback. Go with it. Don’t fight it. Its OK to cry, its ok to hurt and be angry, Whatever your feeling it is OK to express….but remember you already got through the hardest part.

Take control – Flashbacks are in your head. This means though it feels there in control YOU ARE. Try and control; manipulate, the images your seeing. When it comes to mind push the image away make it smaller an smaller…bring it closer. Spin it upside now. Pause it (that’s a good one) or even change it. Put Mickey mouse ears onto the person it involves or give them a giant tash. Make them fall over before they get to you. How about even changing the outcome? Saying NO STOP in the way you couldn’t back then. This taes a lot of practice but can really help.

Focusing on counting your breathing can help – keep thinking of the numbers focus only on the numbers. Breath 1, 2 , 3, 4, out 2, 3, 4 in 2, 3, 4

Visualisation – When you start to flashback close your eyes and picture somewhere safe. Create that place in detail. Things in that space, smells, sounds. This safe space is a place you cant be hurt. It’s a place you have complete control of.



A small object in your pocket - When you're out, try and have something in your pocket that's small enough to hide easily. Giving yourself something to "mess with" if you will helps you try and focus on something else other than the flashback. It could be something as simple as a coin, try to figure out what coin it is, and see if you can feel which side is the heads, and which side is the tails. Sounds stupid, but it helps.

Waking up other senses - Another thing that helps some people is waking up other senses. You could try things like splashing water on your face, moving up and about, smelling a comforting smell (like perfume), or playing a comforting song or something like that.

Carry a small object in your hand - Something you can fit in your hand and something that has texture that you can feel. think about the object and why you have it and such.

Talking to yourself - Say to yourself what you wanted to say then and what you wanted to do...it changes the image in your head and once it's changed for the better you can let it play and know that you'll be safe.

Counting - Counting can help distract your mind, and keep you focussed on something that isn't the flashback. It's also very discreet to count in your head. Try to count by 2's (although doubles can also work) as it is slightly challenging to see how far / fast you can go, and the further you can do the calmer you might get, so it can help you measure what level of focus you have. You might get so frustrated at counting it can completely distracts you!




A few ideas:
  • If you are sitting, stand. If you are standing sit. Pay attention to the movement change. Reminding yourself -- you are in control.
  • Rub your palms, clap your hands. Listen to the sounds. Feel the sensation.
  • If you have a pet touch them. Feel their fur and speak the animals name out loud.
  • Find your pulse on your wrist and count the beats per minute. Concentrate on feeling the blood pulse throughout your body.
  • Cross your legs and arms. Feel the sensations of you controlling your body.
  • Stomp your feet to remind yourself where you are
  • Hold onto a stuffed animal as tight as I need to and just run my hand through the fur.
  • If you have a close friend who knows you have trouble with flashbacks, you might want to let them know so they can kind of "call you back" to reality.
  • Put both feet on the ground, and I talk aloud to yourself.
  • Redo your makeup. it's something that can be done in public too
  • Splash face with cold water
  • Flick rubber band round wrist


these ones aren;t grounding methods as such... but can make flashbacks feel not quite as bad (though no denying they are still not nice):
  • Create a boundary. Sometimes during a flashback it feels as though you do not have any skin, you don’t know where you begin or stop. Wrap yourself in a blanket, anything that will make you feel protected from the outside.
  • Remind yourself it’s just a memory. The abuse is over, you survived and you are safe. The feelings and sensations you are experiencing are memories from the past.
  • Take time to recover. Flashbacks are painful and draining. It may take awhile to recover. Give yourself time to feel better and stronger again.
  • Honour (not right word really) your experience. Appreciate yourself for surviving. Recognize your courage and strength.
  • Don’t fight it

link to list on main site


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Old 23-11-2009, 04:24 PM   #36
bobbiwibble
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thanks for condensing it hazel :) and thanks again to chrissy for posting!
I'm gonna save this on my computer so I've got access to it all the time..



heliotrope-lavender-candytuft-tulip-almond blossom-sycamore



Where do you turn when the night turns to singing
such sweet melodies and you flash your fin
then it's back to the depths where I cannot see you
but I built these towers just to honour you.....


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Old 25-11-2009, 09:36 PM   #37
Amour
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thank you x



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Old 12-01-2010, 09:54 PM   #38
whispering girl
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*bump*

thanks bunches

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Old 25-05-2010, 05:51 PM   #39
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*bumps again*

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Old 23-06-2010, 11:44 PM   #40
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to the person whose signature i found this link in thank you x

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