Hey, I just wanted to say well done for making this decision. You're being very brave and the staff are there to help you. Hopefully you can take something good from this experience so when you come out, you can implement them into your daily life, so things can get better for you.
How are you feeling today? I'm so sorry you've been feeling low. But remember, you can get through this. You've already proven you have strength by deciding to go into IP, you've just got to try and reach in and find it :)
*huggles*
Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world awaits in darkness for the light that is you.
thanks guys you dont know how amazing you all are!!
how am I today... well I am being honest at the very least but I feel so... I dont know... like I keep repeating myself over and over.
I dont know what I will do when I get home. I feel so suicidal (not actively at the moment) but I know as soon as I get home it will all get too much for me and I will act.
and I keep trying to talk and being honest with the pdoc and nurses but I feel like a broken record.
I just dont know anymore.
and thanks for the offer rach but I am really not up to visitors right now... the only people I'm allowing to see me is my friend from qld and my psychologist. sorry.
sometimes being strong means not holding back the tears but letting them fall
~˙·٠•●♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠·˙~
my fur baby girls are my life <3
r.i.p my beautiful girl jackie. i will love you always no matter what - 6/5/10
I feel so stuck and dead inside.
have volunteer work on sun arvo so that will be interesting - havnt even asked my pdoc if I can do it yet or not but I'm pretty sure he will say yes...
I want visitors and company but at the same time I feel like hiding away in my room:(
hate this cycle i really do
sometimes being strong means not holding back the tears but letting them fall
~˙·٠•●♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠·˙~
my fur baby girls are my life <3
r.i.p my beautiful girl jackie. i will love you always no matter what - 6/5/10
I think I am stressed about something as this morning I vomited but I cant put my finger on what it is thats stressing me out! and its so frustrating!!!
I dont know whats happening discharge wise. my pdoc was talking about me being discharged either wed or thurs but I cant see that happening.. I feel low, suicidal and if I wasnt IP right now I'd be at the train tracks
but how do I tell my pdoc that? I cant stay in here forever but I cant see my mood lifting either - help!!
I'm so conflicted:(
sometimes being strong means not holding back the tears but letting them fall
~˙·٠•●♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠·˙~
my fur baby girls are my life <3
r.i.p my beautiful girl jackie. i will love you always no matter what - 6/5/10
Lozza, can you be honest with them? Tell them you're still feeling suicidal and at risk on acting on those ideas, and that you know you can't stay in hospital for forever but that you need more treatment/medication change/therapy to help you be ready to where you feel confident enough to be discharged? If you feel you can't tell them,. maybe write down how you feel. But be as direct and honest as possible.
I know it's scary, but they're there to help you and hopefully if you're honest about being suicidal and at risk they will be inclined to get you to a point where you feel safe, and like you won't end up at train tracks - not what we want !!
Perhaps your stress/vomiting is because of the discharge date coming up. Seems like it would be pretty stressful if you're not ready yet. Please consider bringing it up, do what you can to keep yourself safe we don't want to lose you x
I was honest with pdoc but feel I wasnt being taken serious at all so no idea what will happen. but I do have a meeting with my key worker from home and pdoc tomorrow so maybe she will get through to him?
I dont know what I am doing anymore!
scared
sometimes being strong means not holding back the tears but letting them fall
~˙·٠•●♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠·˙~
my fur baby girls are my life <3
r.i.p my beautiful girl jackie. i will love you always no matter what - 6/5/10
*gentle cuddles*
You can get through this. Good luck with your appointment tomorrow, let us know how it goes please if you can. Howcome you felt they weren't taking you seriously? Hopefully the meeting tomorrow will help to sort that out and have people listening to your concerns xx
*gentle cuddles*
You can get through this. Good luck with your appointment tomorrow, let us know how it goes please if you can. Howcome you felt they weren't taking you seriously? Hopefully the meeting tomorrow will help to sort that out and have people listening to your concerns xx
thank you aimee really means a lot. and I dont know what happened. I gave him my journal to read
The following content has been hidden - Reason : sui trig
which pretty much said I had given up hope, didnt wana be living anymore and
could hear the train tracks calling and could actually visualise being there and
stepping out onto the tracks to be dead
and he said nothing, nothing at all. just how i could keep safe
ummmm right now thats the last thing i wanna do :s
I even told him about jackies annerversary on sunday and what happened on that day last yr (me attemping suicide) and he still said nothing. just "lets see if the new med helps"
arrghhhhhh
Quote:
Originally Posted by xlaurenx
I have no words sadly hun, but I am still thinking of you.
xxx
thank you lauren. I know you are going through a lot so it means a lot
love you xx
sometimes being strong means not holding back the tears but letting them fall
~˙·٠•●♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠·˙~
my fur baby girls are my life <3
r.i.p my beautiful girl jackie. i will love you always no matter what - 6/5/10
What would you have liked him to say? What kind of support from him are you looking for? Hopefully your own pdoc can get across what they feel is best for you. Also hopefully the new meds work.
"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."
