This feels odd

[Foggy007]

This feels really odd...talking about my desire to self harm.
I've recently been divorced but I have found true love, so its kind of strange that my desire to cut is mote intense than ever. I'm not a regular self harmer at all but I've found that the longing and deep intensity to cut isn't going away as it has before. I think that I'm beating myself up for being happy and I'm also petrified that I'm going to lose this love I have found. Until recently I didn't see that I was a self harmer, but I can't explain how deep the desire is to cut. I panicked a week ago because I didn't have any razors which I could use if I needed to cut, I've got these razors now but still haven't used one, but I really really do want to. It almost feels like self harming (making myself suffer) by not cutting, if that makes sense.
I'm new to this openness, I'd like to talk with someone who knows how I'm feeling.
You all take care of yourselves
X

[Cazki]

Hiya welcome to ryl. I hope that ryl give syou the support you need. Here is the guide to ryl http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...play.php?f=105

This is the Serious Discussion Forum http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...splay.php?f=30

Here is the Self Injury Discussion Forum http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...splay.php?f=29

If you need anything please feel free to get in touch.

Take care best wishes Ian

[tifflehan]

Hello and welcome! xx

[VampiricShadow]

Welcome <3

[Glass bead]

Dear Foggy007

I think I feel similar. I am desperately in love with my husband of 26 years. He is a good man and has stuck by me through so much to do with recovering from childhood abuse and us working together to bring up our 3 children 2 of whom have special needs.

I am so worried about his health. He is in hospital today having tests done and more appointments coming up. I feel I can't cope with loving him so much and if I didn't love him it wouldn't hurt me inside to lose him or watch him suffer. My dad used to say to me when I was a teenager 'don't love anything too much or it will be taken away from you' and I think I have taken it too much to heart.

It feels like a big risk to love and I don't feel I deserve or am good enough to be loved by such a lovely guy. I punish myself for getting upset and not supporting him calmly through what he is going through.

I send you lots of love and a wish that we can both get some slight respite from these feelings

Jane

[crazykat]

Hello
Welcome to RYL
PM me if you need anything
Take care
Kat xxx