Typing this post has been somewhat of a difficult exercise (and the award for understand of the year goes to...) as I've spent most of this month trying to keep my head above water. I have tried really hard to keep it together but so far, I've been failing really bad.
To make a long story short... 2019 in a nutshell:
- Got into a relationship that turned out to be severely abusive both mentally and physically
- Lost my job
- Lost every penny I ever earned and saved
- Became homeless
- When I was at work, I was subject to workplace bullying
- I was cheated on
- Started Self harming again
I'm currently staying at my parents place in my old room and I'm wondering what the hell has happened to me. I'm 36, broke, unemployed, single and seriously trying not to just end it all. I don't have a GP or recieving help from any mental health services. I'm just trying to stay alive and in one piece right now.
I spend most of my day jobhunting (unsucessfully) and pretty much living in VR. I'm dreading Xmas and all I know is that I'm spending it and New Year on my own. I don't have any friends offline at all and when I have mentioned this in the past to people when seeking advice, they tell me to just joing something like Meetup, but that is difficult when you don't have even basic funds for a bus ticket.
I just want someone to talk to. I just need a friend.
These last 5 years have been the worst in my life. I can't imagine 2020 being any better to be honest.