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Old 25-07-2018, 06:25 PM   #21
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<3 how are you managing on your own with J?

How is the voices?

You were never going to be cured by having a baby chick, although I wish you could have been. You’re doing amazing but this will pass, as r always does. Are there any Dbt skills or have you been speaking with P?

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Old 25-07-2018, 06:59 PM   #22
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All my efforts going into making sure he's fed, clean, safe, happy but I do struggle alone with him. I have this pressure inside me like I want to scream, cry, punch things and rip my skin off but I just need to swallow it down.

The voices have been more intense recently.

I don't really know about the DBT skills. I can't really remember or think clearly enough to know what might help.
I talk to P but not in a therapeutic sense, we just text each other occasionally.

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Old 25-07-2018, 08:27 PM   #23
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<3 I know he’s safe with you chick - I just know that it must be bloody isolating particularly with a teething bubba! You are being the best mum to him.

would you want to seek help from p again? Maybe we could go through skills on Friday? It would help me to recap too. I’ll bring a gong ;)

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Old 26-07-2018, 08:53 AM   #24
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It can be really isolating. I try to go to baby groups with him but it's hard when I'm alone in the house with him and I have no one to talk to.

P is out of the country until September which makes things difficult. My wife phoned a local counselling service yesterday and left a voicemail with them so we'll see.

I'm not doing great. I feel really emotional and agitated.

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Old 26-07-2018, 08:17 PM   #25
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Is there anyone you can talk to over the phone or Skype or something when you're alone?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 27-07-2018, 03:42 AM   #26
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I know it's probably a bit of a tired idea but when you are alone with him, could you maybe try the Samaritans, just to offload a bit? I know it's not a long term solution but just so you have someone to talk to in the here and now when it does feel overwhelming.



'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'

['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']

'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell. Oscar Wilde
Its hard to dance with the devil on your back. Sydney Carter


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Old 27-07-2018, 11:30 AM   #27
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The thing is it’s really difficult to have a phone conversation with the baby. I’m either holding him or he needs my attention.

I booked a counselling assessment this morning. Really anxious about it.

The heat is really getting to me. On top of everything else. I know it sounds stupid but it’s making me feel quite suicidal. Pathetic I know.

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Old 27-07-2018, 11:36 AM   #28
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No it doesn’t sound stupid. I think particularly for people who really struggle with their bodies generally it’s a hard time. Sweating/tiredness/wearing different clothes are hard and the heat is stressful! I bet J is also feeing it and it would make him feel grouchy!

Really well done for booking the counselling. That’s a good step forward. Could you email the Samaritans? or the evening you go to the library while J has J can you go to some sort of group or do something relaxing on your own. Love you xx

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Old 27-07-2018, 03:49 PM   #29
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Well done with booking the counselling assessment, I hope it works out well for you. You deserve some support.

With talking to someone on the phone, could you put them on loudspeaker and get on with whatever other things you're having to do?

Totally not stupid to be feeling worse because of the heat, lots of people are feeling annoyed by it and when you're having other difficulties as well as the heat no wonder it's affecting you badly. Do you have any good cooling down strategies?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 27-07-2018, 06:41 PM   #30
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The heat makes me feel trapped. It's oppressive. I don't really know what to do to cool down at the moment. It's hard to cope with on top of all the other overwhelming feelings and the pain.

There's a buzzing in my head. I'm getting really bad urges to self harm.

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Old 27-07-2018, 06:48 PM   #31
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Ice cubes can help a lot with the heat. Even using it just to use on your arms/legs/whatever to cool down. I don't know anything else to suggest, but read and I care.



'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'

['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']

'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell. Oscar Wilde
Its hard to dance with the devil on your back. Sydney Carter


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Old 27-07-2018, 07:10 PM   #32
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Good idea. I'm struggling with bad thoughts and buzzing in my head.
I want to drink but it probably won't mix well with the painkillers.
I just want it to be quiet.

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Old 27-07-2018, 07:25 PM   #33
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Are there any external sounds like music or TV that can take you away from the noise in your head a bit?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 28-07-2018, 04:50 PM   #34
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It's not really helping.
The buzzing is still there. Lots of bad thoughts and voices.
I want to drink and take pills. I don't want to feel anymore.

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Old 28-07-2018, 05:37 PM   #35
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I have recently been discharged from an ip unit and was having strong urges one night recently. i got the guts up to phone crisis team and they talked me through the ABCD CBT model, it helped me - didnt magic it all away but lessened it. I hope its ok to post the link on here? if not mods edit as appropriate.
http://www.willbaum.com/wp-content/u...hought-Log.pdf
(hugs)




This is Marvin, He is my Be Safe Bee.


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Old 28-07-2018, 07:29 PM   #36
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Thank you for that. I'll give it a go.

I'm really struggling. I want to self harm. I feel like an evil failure. The voices are bad. I don't want to do. I don't think I can do this. I just want it all to stop.

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Old 28-07-2018, 07:44 PM   #37
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Sorry to hear youre struggling, do you have anyone you could phone (like the crisis team)? failing that do you have distractions? can you get out for a walk to clear your head? obvs staying safe.
Has anything happened to trigger these urges?




This is Marvin, He is my Be Safe Bee.


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Old 29-07-2018, 01:44 PM   #38
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Our crisis team is just beyond useless.

I'm trying to distract myself and keep busy. I feel overwhelmed.
Everything feels so hard.

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Old 29-07-2018, 05:15 PM   #39
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How has this afternoon been?

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Old 29-07-2018, 06:26 PM   #40
one_step_closer
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Can you make a list of all the things you can do that are even a little enjoyable or that will keep you busy and are manageable? Sometimes it helps to have a list or a plan of what you will do and just try to start something and keep going with it.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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