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Old 28-08-2020, 12:58 PM   #1
tamobhuuta
 
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Me and my sister

My sister has lots of the symptoms of AN. To be honest i am jealous of her weight but i know I can't support her if part of me feels that way. Does anyone have experience of supporting someone in this situation?


Last edited by tamobhuuta : 24-10-2020 at 10:36 AM. Reason: Title


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Old 30-08-2020, 01:41 PM   #2
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Have you got someone you can talk about it irl



Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.

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Old 13-10-2020, 10:59 AM   #3
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My sister is looking so thin, even more than her natural figure. We try not to put pressure on her, we don't want food to be a battle ground. Yesterday i agreed to have a snack with her and i think that helped her.

I wish I was as thin as her.



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Old 24-10-2020, 10:34 AM   #4
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My mum reckons my eating is disordered. But I'm a healthy size so i think I can get away with eating a bit less. Anyway, my parents are overweight so how can they criticize me?



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Old 24-10-2020, 11:07 AM   #5
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The title of this should be 'me and my sister', i can't get it to change.



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Old 24-10-2020, 06:25 PM   #6
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Overweight people can still have disordered eating too, as well as have the ability to recognise when someone else's behavior is unhealthy. Being overweight doesn't make them any less reliable in the fact that they care about you and you can likely trust them to recognise when something isn't right.

I'm sorry you're struggling with this.



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Old 24-10-2020, 09:55 PM   #7
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When I’m on my laptop I can change the title properly if you like?

Camden is wise. It doesn’t sound like your parents were trying to criticise you, more that they are worried because completely separate from anyone’s weight (theirs or yours) they see that the relationship you have with food is unhealthy. Are you only ever concerned about your sister’s eating when she is noticeably underweight? Would you feel fine with her acting the way she does about food if she was a healthy weight? I feel like you wouldn’t and so probably do accept that even though you’re a healthy weight, it doesn’t mean you can’t have disordered eating.

Do you and/or your sister access any professional ED help?



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Old 25-10-2020, 09:44 AM   #8
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If you could change the title, that would be great.

Thank you for your replies. I think that if she was a healthy weight, there would still be a problem because she has very poor body image. My parents say my body image is bad too but i genuinely do have a sticky out belly and small boobs.

Neither of us have been offered treatment for EDs. My sister reckons it's down to her depression and PTSD. A few years ago i was on a bigger dose of clozapine and was much less bothered about my weight, even though I was overweight.



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Old 25-10-2020, 09:54 AM   #9
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I don't weigh myself because I would be ashamed of the number.



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Old 28-10-2020, 02:11 PM   #10
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I reckon i eat more rubbish than proper food but still under eat. That's ok, right?


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Old 07-11-2020, 10:57 AM   #11
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In most clothes i am a size x, but i wore clothes yesterday that were bigger and they fitted too. But my sister says they are too big for me. I don't believe her. What do i do?



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Old 07-11-2020, 11:11 AM   #12
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I'd say don't believe her. Clothing sizes vary anyway. If they fitted (or even if they were too big) and you felt comfortable then that's all that matters.

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Old 16-02-2021, 03:02 PM   #13
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My sister's depression is much worse, which means her eating is pretty non existent and when she does eat a reasonable amount she purges. I love her so much but I don't know how to help.



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Old 16-02-2021, 05:37 PM   #14
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That sounds really hard.
I think it is important to look after yourself and trust the people in charge of your sister's care to support her with things.
It is understandable that you want to help her, but sometimes we can't really do anything.



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Old 16-02-2021, 07:57 PM   #15
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I agree with Lana. I think the best you can do to help is to take care of yourself, set positive healthy examples for your sister to see, and let her know that you support her and are there for her if she wants it. You can't force other people to change, and she has her own providers looking after her. Support her as a sister and family member, don't try to treat her like a patient or problem that needs fixing.



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Old 16-02-2021, 08:15 PM   #16
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Thank you both.



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Old 24-03-2021, 10:09 AM   #17
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I'm back.

I've been eating my feelings. Sometimes I say I'm eating mindfully, or I need the energy. But I always go for sugary foods. There's something comforting about chocolate and sweeties. So I'm gaining weight and feeling out of control.



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Old 24-03-2021, 01:47 PM   #18
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That sounds rather stressful.
I can totally relate to emotional eating and feeling out of control and frustrated about any potential weight gain.

Do you have any other ways of expressing your feelings?

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Old 24-03-2021, 02:34 PM   #19
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I have some therapy skills which sometimes help me think a bit clearer. But actually expressing feelings is harder.



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Old 25-03-2021, 10:24 AM   #20
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I get you. It can be really hard to identify emotions and then even harder to actually communicate them.
Do you know what it is that makes it so hard?

I think for me it has a lot to do with never having learnt how to healthily express them and also just struggling to let myself be vulnerable.
Is it similar for you?

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