I told my guidance counsellor at college. She was a normal lecturer and we got her for classes but we also had compulsory guidance sessions. I used to try and avoid mine but she pinned me down after class one day because she knew something was up. I didnt tell her but later I emailed her some vague details.
She replied telling me it wasn't my fault. I knew it wasnt my fault, I never thought it was my fault so I was mildly insulted. She never really mentioned it again, then she left college and kept in touch with everyone except me, and she told my classmates I was "damaged" and "had a lot of demons".
I started a new college 6 months later, and saw her in the hall. She said hello to me and was all happy to see me and was like "how are you darling?!" and I was with my new classmates and I just went "FINE" and stared at the floor and walked away. A few weeks later we were waiting on a lift and she came up and grabbed my arm and went "how are you?" and I pulled away and said loudly to my friends "im going to take the stairs". Then I just hid for the rest of the year and by my second year she'd left.
I told a male friend. He used it to try and get into my pants. And that was by email, not face to face.
Not had the best experiences.
I have a friend that seems to genuinely care about me. She always asked me what was wrong even when I was pretending to be happy, she could see straight through my act. Then in December I text her one night when drunk to say I was drunk and she text back "dont be sick!" and I said that "its not that, its the cutting thats the problem" and she was really worried and wanted to come and meet me and take me home. I wouldnt let her and the next morning she text me "how are you today?". I said I was embarrassed and she said "are you going to tell me whats wrong?". I saw her once, but I was with 5 other friends so she never said anything. Then I avoided her, cancelled all our plans. I was going to tell her one night over drinks then she told me she wasnt drinking so I told her not to bother coming round because I knew I wouldnt have the guts to say it sober
. She kept trying to make new plans with me and I kept making excuses. I went to a concert at the bar that she works in and she came over to say hi but it was so awkward and she just didnt know what to say to me. We made plans for a night a few weeks ago. I was feeling brave. But she forgot we had plans. She forgot about me. And she hasn't tried to plan anything since.
She left me a facebook action saying she "dropped the soap" then a comment of "dont rape me!". Which obviously deeply upset me. I want to do this in person so I didnt reply, I just took the comments off my page. She text me about something random today and I didn't answer because she did hurt me. I think when I have the guts to see her again ill tell her. I need to tell someone because im not coping lately.
