always paranoid that ppl wanna hurt me

[ruby2011]

I used to work at Arby’s where I looked up to my supervisor. She used to like me and be nice to me until she suddenly went rejected me. She started being mean to me and yelled a lot. Hell she might've gone psycho on me. She was still nice to others though.

She had me canned in October 2017 but I’m still affected. I even physically lost my voice bc of multiple mental breakdowns. Now I expect everyone to hurt me. At my current job at McDonald’s, I’m paranoid that people are mean to me when they weren’t. I perceive rejection where none exist. I often accuse ppl of hating on me and being mad at me when they weren’t.

For the past month, I cried during most my shifts and complain that I’m invisible. And lately, the GM spoke to me with authority and I cried bc he “yelled.” It was mostly the GM that I accuse of being mad and hurtful. Almost every shift I get paranoid. An hourly manager called me a creep and accused me of obsessing over the GM. He even said I’m massively in love with the GM. Then he said it’s making people uncomfortable.

But if my Arby’s supervisor hadn’t been rejecting, I wouldn’t be this way. Hell I’d still be at Sam’s bc I wouldn’t need to act out. I worked 5.5 years at Sam's and then had to leave bc of Arby's induced mental breakdowns. Is it normal to feel like everyone will hurt me just bc that supervisor did?

[EyelinerAndCigarettes]

I'm really sorry you're struggling so much. It was really out of order for your supervisor to treat you that way. It's really understanable you'd now be very wary and nervous of others reacting that way too because it must have really scared and confused you.
Do you have anyone close to you you can talk this through with?

[nonperson]

Hmm. Are you dark_angel1720?

[ruby2011]

Quote:

Originally Posted by EyelinerAndCigarettes

I'm really sorry you're struggling so much. It was really out of order for your supervisor to treat you that way. It's really understanable you'd now be very wary and nervous of others reacting that way too because it must have really scared and confused you.
Do you have anyone close to you you can talk this through with?

I'm in therapy right now. I've tried cognitive behavior therapy before and it didn't help. Now I'm regularly doing hypnosis.

[ruby2011]

Quote:

Originally Posted by nonperson

Hmm. Are you dark_angel1720?

hell if I know

[nonperson]

Well I think you are - your posts are too similar. "Canned" at the same time, in the job for the same time, "looking up" to your supervisor.

I'd say reread your old threads (http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...=246584&page=2), people gave you lots of good advice previously. You admitted then that a lot of the problems were your own fault, that your behaviour was inappropriate to your supervisor so you need to learn that years on you can't keep blaming that one person.

It is hard to trust people and sometimes it can take the actions of just one person to break your trust in anyone but I think there are other factors at play here too.

[EyelinerAndCigarettes]

Quote:

Originally Posted by nonperson

Well I think you are - your posts are too similar. "Canned" at the same time, in the job for the same time, "looking up" to your supervisor.

I'd say reread your old threads (http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...=246584&page=2), people gave you lots of good advice previously. You admitted then that a lot of the problems were your own fault, that your behaviour was inappropriate to your supervisor so you need to learn that years on you can't keep blaming that one person.

It is hard to trust people and sometimes it can take the actions of just one person to break your trust in anyone but I think there are other factors at play here too.

This is really good advice, I would agree.

[not_so_insig]

dark angel's previous post referred to working at Arby's.