Please may I have some support?

chinahorse · 10-12-2020, 10:29 AM

I know I'm not active on here much anymore.

I have nowhere else to go but here. Please can I have some support. Suggestions on what to do or how to proceed.

I feel so internally agitated and distressed today. I dont know how to deal with it.

Cacoethes · 10-12-2020, 11:17 AM

Hi Lillie
I'm sorry you're feeling so bad
When I feel agitated I have a cool shower and sometimes make ice blocks so I can smash them on the ground. It releases. Something. Not quite sure what but it helps.

chinahorse · 10-12-2020, 02:23 PM

Thanks for the reply lovely. I could try the ice thing. The cool shower would likely increase my physical pain levels though.

I took the last diazepam I was keeping for an emergency and slept for a bit. I feel less agitated now. But very depressed.

Cacoethes · 10-12-2020, 07:04 PM

Ah ok. Didn't think of that.

Would it be possible to see a doctor to get more diazepam? Sounds like it would be helpful if it makes you feel less agitated.
Forgive me as I can't remember, do you have any professional support at the moment? I seem to remember you did but they were being useless. Is that still the case?

Buttons. · 10-12-2020, 09:17 PM

Sorry things are so rough lovely not much in the way of advice but I read and I care

EyelinerAndCigarettes · 10-12-2020, 09:20 PM

Sending love. How are you feeling this evening?

Darkwings44 · 10-12-2020, 11:57 PM

*hugs* sending my love its and on the way to you <3

chinahorse · 11-12-2020, 09:53 AM

It was a rubbish day. My therapist was horrid and I hung up on him. He then sent me an email saying he has to push the conversation into difficult things. True. But dont be horrible.

I feel very much like I dont get support until something dramatic happens.

Ihave a driving lesson today. I really dont want to. Really really dont.

It's all hard. And it's all my fault. The way I choose to act is wrong. The way I am is wrong. I'm just wrong.

I then pretty much went to bed and ignored everything.

I do want more diazepam but I'm not sure they would give it to me. I cant cope being aware, so numbing it out with meds and calming me down from the edge of serious self harm is the only option. They say I should be ok without it. They ask what I want. I want not to be in pain.

tamobhuuta · 11-12-2020, 11:45 AM

This is all really sucky. Hugs if wanted. X

Zurg · 11-12-2020, 10:06 PM

Lillie, you are not wrong and it's not your fault. I promise!!!! It's because you question their treatment and the Way they speak to you that they feel you are being rude. It's because as soon as you don't fit into their boxes and find their advice helpful (no matter how useless and ridiculous it may be) then suddenly you are the difficult one and the one who does not want to engage. That's the Way things are and it does NOT mean that you are wrong or that you are difficult just because that's what they Think!!!!!!!

You have the right to be treated with kindness and respect. You have the right to speak your mind if something isn't working and you have the right to suggest what you might find helpful instead. The connection you can have with someone on a personal level would make such a difference in the psychiatric system if professionals weren't so afraid of it.

To be listened to and to be respected for nothing more than just being a human being is your right!!!! It's a right we all have. You are just as important as anyone else!!!!!! Please don't believe them when they try to make it your fault.

Unbreakable. · 24-12-2020, 06:18 AM

Sending love & gentle cuddles your way <3

Darkwings44 · 24-12-2020, 05:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zurg

Lillie, you are not wrong and it's not your fault. I promise!!!! It's because you question their treatment and the Way they speak to you that they feel you are being rude. It's because as soon as you don't fit into their boxes and find their advice helpful (no matter how useless and ridiculous it may be) then suddenly you are the difficult one and the one who does not want to engage. That's the Way things are and it does NOT mean that you are wrong or that you are difficult just because that's what they Think!!!!!!!

You have the right to be treated with kindness and respect. You have the right to speak your mind if something isn't working and you have the right to suggest what you might find helpful instead. The connection you can have with someone on a personal level would make such a difference in the psychiatric system if professionals weren't so afraid of it.

To be listened to and to be respected for nothing more than just being a human being is your right!!!! It's a right we all have. You are just as important as anyone else!!!!!! Please don't believe them when they try to make it your fault.

i argee with zurg
also im sending you gentle love and cuddles too <3