Hey, I of course don't think you intend to hurt your friend. It's a big conflict. I know that when some people close to me found out about my cutting and then actually saw it- their reactions (the crying and so on) were so hard for me to see. I wanted to protect them.
At that time I wasn't ready to give up SI. (I still haven't completely given it up but go a lot longer without it) The thing was I had a need to continue my relationship with SI, the coping, and all the things I got from it. Those close to me didn't understand. But I knew they reacted the way they did because they cared.
It seems you are in a similar position. You are making progress in some areas- like therapy- but you have a strong relationship with SI. It is not that SI is who you are, it is the strong bond/relationship/tie that you have to it and all that you get out of it. It's incredibly hard to let that go and you won't until you are ready and even then it will be a process.
All I can advise until then is, don't lie, but try to keep your SI away from those who are more emotional in their reactions to it because it hurts you both.
*hugs*
I understand and I care.
We are here for you and accept you just as you are. We support you and want to know if there is anthing else that comes up.
Please take care of yourself and remember you aren't alone.
