*suicide, triggering*

EMH · 02-04-2013, 05:31 PM

Following my hospital admission last week they arranged for a home treatment team to come round. She came today. It didn't help, if anything it made me feel worse. She asked some questions. I couldn't answer them. I couldn't even talk.

"So what is stopping you taking more tablets?"
The thought that it would hurt others. Which was very slim to begin with because everything else is so overwhelming right now.

"How have you been managing?"
I haven't. I feel on the edge. I feel the same as I did last week.

"Do you have any tablets in the house right now?"
Thanks for reminding me to stock up.

It triggered me. A lot. And now I really don't know what to do with my thoughts.

tiptoes · 02-04-2013, 05:41 PM

I am sorry that they have made things worse. I know it is difficult but I think some of the questions they asked are good ones to think about, maybe just not phrased in the best way. How about...

Knowing what my "protective factors" (things that stopped me doing silly things) when I was really low were really useful. I made myself a list so that when I started to break I could pull it out and try and remember all the reasons I had to keep fighting the urges.

What have you been doing to manage? and what can you do to help you through those days when you want nothing other than to do something destructive. I find colouring in or washing up amongst a list of things help to keep me suitably distracted and safe.

Do you have anything that makes you at risk of impulsive decisions?

I can understand how you can be triggered, I also understand why they might have asked the questions. I think they are really difficult questions to answer when you are in a vulnerable place. I found I answered them much better following quiet contemplation after appointments rather than during the appointments.

Do you have any other support at the moment?

PassedExpectations · 03-04-2013, 07:22 PM

how is today going for you?

do you have specific ideas about what the treatment team could do differently to help you more? if you do, you could probably talk to them about doing some of those things....

EMH · 04-04-2013, 10:31 AM

thank you for your replies.

today is a bit better than yesterday at the moment- less of the thoughts of what I want to do.

Im just fed up of answering the same questions over and over again. Fed up of talking about me all the time. I know its not what should be done but I just want them to leave me alone.