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21-06-2011, 06:37 AM
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#1
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Join Date: Jun 2009
I am currently:  
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Graphic - [[triggering]] scared of myself
last friday i did something i regret even now with my wrist searing with pain. i hadn't self harmed for a year. since may last year i had not self harmed. and last friday i broke that. i literally tore my left arm to pieces. it's made worse by the fact i can cut no where else except my left arm. my twisted logic hates anywhere else except my left forearm being torn to pieces. and then it's made even worse by the fact that i'm allergic what i use. and i cant figure out the reason behind it, except for the fact that i began taking my meds again and now feel worse. right now i have probably more than one hundred cuts on my arm and it's searing because not even ten minutes ago i self harmed.
the hated fact is i still don't feel relief.
i'm scared of myself, i cant tell anybody. i have so much going on in my life i just cant handle anything. i've also taken up smoking again. and i truly hate myself these past few days. i need love, hugs... and healing. prayers would be nice too.
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21-06-2011, 06:39 AM
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#2
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Join Date: Jun 2009
I am currently:
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i just realised this should be moved to self-injury discussion.
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21-06-2011, 04:56 PM
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#3
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Chapel Hill, North Carolina USA
I am currently: 
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you've got my love, hugs, and tons of prayers for your healing. do you know of anything that can help you feel a bit better? baking or going on a walk can usually clear my head a bit. pm me if you want.
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Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive -- the risk to be alive and express what we really are.
-Don Miguel Ruiz
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22-06-2011, 06:36 PM
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#4
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Join Date: Jun 2009
I am currently:
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usually tumblring, playing guitar, story writing or cleaning distract me, but it got really bad and my arm is a mess now and im so ashamed of myself.
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22-06-2011, 07:59 PM
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#5
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Chapel Hill, North Carolina USA
I am currently:
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I'm sorry you are hurting. Since you are taking meds, can you talk to your doctor about any of this? Keep holding on and remember that you are not just cutting and/or your scars. You are amazing person who plays guitar and writes stories. Don't be ashamed of your person, be angry at the disease. Continued prayers and hugs...
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Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive -- the risk to be alive and express what we really are.
-Don Miguel Ruiz
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23-06-2011, 02:07 PM
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#6
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Fight for another day
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If you think the meds are making things worse then you should talk to the person who prescribed them as maybe they need to be changed. Yes you hurt yourself but don't beat yourself up over it. Pick yourself up from this and realise that right now you probably do need a bit of extra support. What concerns you about telling someone? Keep fighting, you will make it through this. Take care
Kat xxx
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"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."
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