I understand. I'm sorry you couldn't think of anyone to spend time with.
I don't think anyone will be offended, so don't worry. It's completely understandable, that there's no way for this and similar sites to replace actual face to face interaction. I'm sorry I can't help more.
Occasionally, yes. I like the idea of having a group of friends and someone to come home to and share my day with. However, I'm not comfortable at all in groups of people, especially new people. I'm usually ok one to one.... but only if the other person is a certain kind of person (confident, chatty, etc), otherwise I struggle with conversation. I don't really trust people and just feel like I'm not worth knowing or have nothing interesting to talk about or what normally happens is I say something dumb. Sometimes I don't even want to make small talk because I really don't care enough to find out anything about the person which isn't very nice. I dunno, I'm just socially awful so that doesn't help at all.
I understand. It's not that much that you don't like people at all, you just struggle with making new connections, and that's okay. Some people are more outgoing and some are more introverted. I myself can relate to many things you're saying, and if I have company for too long and/or too often I simply get tired of people. But that doesn't mean I don't want to have someone to talk to ever, and that doesn't mean you do too.
Can you think of someone to call your friend at the moment?
I often feel like I'm constantly saying something dumb too (in fact I even felt like an idiot twice during this conversation between you and me), but most of the time other people don't notice it even if I do. And even if they do notice, usually the best solution is to laugh at it. Everyone says stupid things once in a while and that's okay. You're human and you're inherently interesting. If you don't know what to say, the best solution is to ask the other person questions and let them talk - and there will be no awkward silences, and then eventually you will discover things to talk about. And I don't mean standard boring small talk. When I don't feel particularly socially reclusive, I ask random people weird questions, like 'If patronuses were real, what would you remember to conjure one?' or 'What your perfect life scenario looks like?' or even 'If you were a president of Earth, what would you change?' IRL. Everyone thinks I'm damn weird (there's a theory I'm high all the time) and some people wouldn't talk to me, but most people enjoy talking to me about all those random things and I did made some friends this way. Maybe, trying to talk to people more is worth it?
We do see each regularly, sometimes daily, and we live close by. But she has a family and baby and so sometimes I feel like I'm in the way when I go round there. Although I'm sure I'm not.
It can be difficult to keep spending time with friends when you're an adult and everyone has jobs and families and various obligations. But I hope you do manage to hang out together once in a while.
Not really sure what this thread is becoming but I just need to write stuff. Not necessarily looking for replies but it's nice to know people are reading (that sounds very self-centred...)
Yoga was good yesterday, really tough but I could do a lot of it so didn't end up feeling useless. My muscles hurt a bit today and that's a good thing.
Saw my friend after work. Came home, ate a ****load of absolute crap.... Played some piano, was rubbish... my mind kept wandering, couldn't focus. My neighbour interrupted to give me her house key for the weekend, I'm looking after their dog. Put the oven on to cook more crap... Seeing as the previous binge wasn't dinner, I thought a plate of chips would suffice as "dinner"... but really it was a load more crap that I didn't need to eat. Potato's a vegetable, right...
While waiting for chips to cook... cut... but not enough. Pathetic. Doesn't hurt, just stings a bit... Rubbish. Haven't got the right "tools".... but I can fix that.
Christmas is getting closer. I keep forgetting that even though I'm not doing Christmas at all this year (no decs, no tree, probably no Christmas dinner...) I still have to do cards for certain people and some presents. It's all so forced. I hate it. It's stressing me out.... I'll probably ignore it until the last minute and that will make it worse. Hate this.
I have to contact the ex soon to sort out my phone contract (it's in his name...) Accidentally managed to "like" a Facebook post about him and his new gf in China.... Didn't notice for a couple of days... So embarrassing... x.x
Drunk again... stole a tool from work so I can cut properly... Also bought something else today that will help with that because apparently what I thought would work, didn't yesterday!!!
It's fine typing it... well, even then it's hard but alcohol makes it easier and probably makes it sound way more dramatic! But... no...I hate talking about things out loud... not sure I could manage it. I have a counselling thing through work I could access too but again... phones.