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Old 18-10-2018, 06:31 PM   #1
tiptoes
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Not being ill

I'm not sure where I'm going with this but I have made the decision that I'm not going to be mentally ill anymore!

It has taken so much from me over the years and I'm fed up. I have just come out of a low period and it feels like the perfect time to start a bipolar free life! That said, I'm not entirely sure how to go about it! Any suggestions or encouragement would be welcomed!



In my dreams I slew the dragon


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Old 18-10-2018, 07:36 PM   #2
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Perhaps, some level of acceptance (of the human condition) along with being forgiving of ourselves (and limitations) can help. We are most hard on/of ourselves during our rough times, at least I know I am, largely because of unrealistic expectations more often than not. Ill or not ill, everyone has to go through rough times, though; especially those of us in a daily fight with our own minds can understand it beyond someone not bipolar.

Wishing you the best.

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Old 19-10-2018, 03:37 PM   #3
one_step_closer
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That sounds positive, although I'm sure you know you can't just 'stop' being mentally ill. I think a good way to achieve a better life would be to work with people to recognise your symptoms and when things start to get a bit more difficult and figure out what things can be put in place to prevent bad times as much as possible and to cope with/reduce the duration of any bad times that do happen. What things do you feel you lose when you have bad times? What does a bipolar free life look like to you? I hope you can achieve the things you want.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 22-10-2018, 09:00 AM   #4
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I don't have any support at the moment so dint have anyone to talk through warning signs although I have done a lot of that in the past. I'm starting to think that this is part of the problem. The analysing, planning, preparing. I think it is making me worse like seeing potential warning signs is a self fulfilling prophecy.

A bipolar free life would be one in the absence of low or high episodes and one where I didn't have to think about how everything in my life could be linked back to my mood. I want the micromanaging of my mood to go away.

I lose who I am. I can't connect with people, I'm unable to do my job, I'm unable to do the little things that make me feel human.



In my dreams I slew the dragon


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Old 14-11-2018, 10:05 PM   #5
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In your mind how would that work?
What will stop the mood swings and feeling associated with them.
I was I'll for 15 years. I've now been pretty well (mentally) for about 2.5 years but that is not something I decided it was a process and some very big changes. I know I wasn't able to think myself out of it. You may be able to but if you could why didn't you do it earlier? Was the illnesse providing something you could get being well?

This is not a criticism. I'm hoping you can explore what your asking of yourself.

I do like the comment about realising your limitations. I think that's very important in this case.



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Old 16-11-2018, 06:17 PM   #6
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My life has changed rather a lot in the last couple of years. It was toxic for my mental health. At the time I shyed away from recovery models because they didn't feel achievable. My mood was all over the place because of a stressful and chaotic life style.

That's over now and things are so much better but I still feel like I'm living that same life of hopping between low and high mood. It no longer really gets to the point that I need external help to get by I guess it hasn't gotten my wondering about whether there is another way if looking at the world. Whether the feeling that the next episode or period of unstable mood is around the corner is in itself destabling?

When I was under the care of a mental health team it used to get in my nerves assessing every minute detail of my life looking for signs putting plans in place for if the next signs appear. I think I'm still living like that.

I honestly don't expect to never have an episode again that said I need to find a way to live without expecting the next episode to hit me out of the blue. I want to be free of living like an ill person. I'm not sure I'm making sense.



In my dreams I slew the dragon


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Old 17-11-2018, 05:54 PM   #7
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I think I understand what you mean. It can be difficult to find a balance with monitoring your mood etc, of course you have to be watchful of symptoms but you don't want to be analysing everything all the time. Are you regularly checking in with yourself? Could you make a certain time, weekly or whatever suits you, to look at how things are in the moment and how things have been and then try and allow yourself to just live the rest of the time? I know that might not be entirely practical. The bigger signs of you becoming more unwell would of course be something that you should try and notice and not brush off though. Are there things you do that help you to stay in the moment? What things do you enjoy that have kept your mood reasonably stable before? I know what it feels like to be living consumed by MH difficulties and having to cope with them and worry about what might be around the corner, it takes up a lot of space. I hope you can find a way to be well but to not have to hold on so tightly to trying to be well and planning for future episodes.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 22-11-2018, 09:09 AM   #8
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Things seem to be going ok at the moment. I think taking a step back is helping. I've had a few nights here and there where I have struggled to sleep. Normally this would have be fretting about my mood going high but I have been keeping things more in perspective that they are just a bad night's sleep and seems to have stopped the cycle of not being able to sleep because of fretting about not being a sleep.

Awhile ago I started getting thoughts that people I knew had been cloned so I could be followed. I realised yesterday I haven't had any in a while. I had a think why and I think I have been putting my cbt skills into place.

I have also swapped my mood tracker from one that gives you a number and gives you a talking to for not doing it every day to one where you select if you have had any low or high mood symptoms. So I can keep a broad eye on things but with a more stepped back approach.

I have a good feeling about this. I think maybe that I hadn't adjusted to my improved stability and now I am. I just hope it lasts!



In my dreams I slew the dragon


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Old 25-11-2018, 05:17 AM   #9
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I am really excited to read this and I am incredibly proud of you.
You always put so much hard work and effort into managing your illness and moving towards a stable & fulfilling life.

I admire you for that & I am really happy that it pays off <3



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But till I try, I'll never know


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Old 26-11-2018, 09:00 AM   #10
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Thanks. That means a lot <3



In my dreams I slew the dragon


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Old 28-11-2018, 10:33 PM   #11
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You are fabulous! :)



“Our defeats are softened and our victories are sweetened because we did it together.” - Toby Ziegler.

This isn't everything you are.


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