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Old 12-02-2013, 09:24 PM   #1
YouCan'tFixMyHeart
 
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Join Date: Jul 2012
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I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

I've spent the last four years hiding away from everyone because I didn't know how to deal with everything and it was too much for me. I've messed everything up. I can't even talk to people on the phone anymore. My mum will say that I need to speak to someone on the phone and I'll say no, and she starts getting mad at me because I won't do it. But I get anxiety just thinking about it. Or she keeps telling people that I did her hair extensions because I know how to do it even though I haven't done a course or anything, so now they're asking if I will do theirs. But I can't do it. I can't be around people, I just can't handle it. And my mum doesn't understand that. I haven't met up with any of my friends since about 2010 and I don't have anyone anymore and I'm on my own and I don't know what I'm supposed to do.





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Old 13-02-2013, 12:14 AM   #2
Eccentrics
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Hello there hun,

I can totally relate to how you are feeling and I know how distressing it can be. Do you have any professional help for this at all? I know it can be scary but I really advise talking to someone about it - write it in a letter if you need to - and seeking support as there are a range of therapies than can help. Could you try explaining to your Mum just how hard you are finding it, or find some resources online to show her?

Alternatively / in the mean time, try to expose yourself to small anxiety-provoking situations bit by bit. I know that you might want to hide away, but doing so will only escalate your anxiety as you forget how it can be and your mind blows the fear out of proportion. Start with something that you feel like you might be able to do even though it's a bit nerve-wracking, because it's essential to make small achieveable goals for yourself so not to be overwhelmed. Maybe going for a little walk around the block, or chatting on a skype call to a close friend. As you're in that situation, try to distract yourself from your own worries by listening to music, describing your surroundings to yourself or simply jsut focusing your mind on another thought. It's easier said than done, but practise makes perfect, and although it may sound hard sometimes you just need to give yourself a little push to get started. Remember to reward yourself for it too! :)

As for making friends, the internet is always a good place to start! Common interest forums - including here on RYL - are great places to start forming friendships and building confidence. Or, if you feel up to it, try to get in touch with some of your old friends and reignite those friendships. Facebook is a good place to connect yourself until you feel ready to go back in public.

Take care <3
-Holly

(edit: I'm sorry if any of this didn't make sense or if it was a bit too forthright. I don't think I got everything in to words properly / as sympathetically as usual... I've read through some of your previous posts though and I can relate to a lot of what you are struggling with, as well as being at similar age. If you ever want to talk to someone, feel free to PM me love <3)


Last edited by Eccentrics : 13-02-2013 at 12:24 AM. Reason: adding
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Old 15-02-2013, 01:58 PM   #3
Patent Pending
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Hi there.

I can't really add much to what Holly has said above, but I can empathise with you - especially the talking on the phone anxiety; I have suffered greatly with this and it has been a cause for me to lose a job so I can definitely understand.

Try to allow yourself to feel a little of the anxiety in small doses - the more you hide from it the harder it will become when you do have to be put in a situation which causes you anxiety again.

Do you think you could maybe regain contact with your friends again? It's often easier at first to start to contact someone you knew well rather than complete strangers - even if it's not meeting up with them but just texting/emailing etc?

Take care and be kind to yourself.

x x x



It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...


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