cutting taking control

[miss broken]

i dont know what to do anymore.i have been cutting and daily have the urges to do it.no matter how hard i try,i always give in and i cant stop it.cutting is all i think about and its getting to the point where its scaring me.no professional help is helping and i guess im doomed.

[Pi.R^2]

I'm sorry to hear that cutting is taking control of your life. Can you try to win back a little bit of that control by delaying acting on urges? So even if you give in after an hour or two hours, you can see that as a success- you were in control for that amount of time, even if you did slip up in the end.

You're definitely not doomed. I was once in a place where self harming completely dominated my life and when I tried to cut down (pardon the pun) going even a short amount of time without cutting genuinely felt impossible. So it's really weird to think that I've now gone nearly two and a half years without doing it!

[~hunni~]

Stopping can be really, really hard, especially in the beginning when the urges are so frequent. Every time you delay an urge you are taking another step to beating this. I haven't hurt myself in a while, but I still get urges to do it from time to time and I definitely believe that part of the recovery process is accepting this.

Things can and will get better for you. Take things slowly, a day at a time and be proud of yourself when you manage to beat an urge.

[wearethesea]

this may sound sad, but replacing one addiction for another helped me.
Now, what I mean by that is every time I felt the urge to cut, I would journal. on napkins, scraps of paper, backs of magazines, whatever was near. I would journal. Soon enough, pen to paper became enough for me.

Best of luck, and I offer you one huggle

[miss broken]

thank you guys!! <3

[mrsampersand]

I agree with wearethesea, you can't stop the urges but you can do something else with them. Journaling is great, but the the thing that has helped me the most is doing some sort of art that mimics SI. Draw lines in different colors, scribble, even get angry about it. You can even paint on yourself. I've done this before and then bandaged myself up like it was a real injury. I'm not sure why this helped, but it did.
You're not doomed!

[miss broken]

thank you mrsampersand!i will give that a try :)