I understand. But he is there to support you and pain obviously affects your MH too. I wouldn't call it complaining about things, we all deserve help to ease things that are causing us problems.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
Thank you for checking in with me.
I haven't managed to see my psychiatrist yet, as he is on a sick leave. I'm still struggling with the pain and find day to day life a bit difficult, but I'm managing (or at least trying to).
I don't think I can see anyone else. I could ask about it, but I'm also not entirely comfortable talking to a total stranger about my issues (I know, that's silly, but still). I also don't really know when my psych is going to be back.
I don't think that's silly at all. If you think it would be better for you to try and stick things out until he gets back than it would be to talk to a stranger then that's ok. But if you do have the option of seeing someone else and that doesn't seem as awful as being on your own with things now then it would be something to consider.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
I think I'll try to stick it out, and if things are really bad, I'll call the hospital and ask if I can see someone else while my doctor isn't available, and hope for the best.
Sorry for posting again. I just have no one to talk to outside of this place.
I almost walked on rail tracks in front of a train while dissociated. I am going to be put inpatient again. If I don't go voluntarily, I am going to be put in a hospital involuntarily.
I had three kittens and momma cat at home. They are 10 weeks old, and this time there is no one willing to take care of all of them while I'm away, especially considering that my landlord expects kittens to leave his property by June 25th max and if I go to the hospital on Monday I'm surely not getting out of hospital by that date.
I had tried to look for anyone to adopt the kittens or foster them among the people I know, on social media and on ad sites for over a month now, but I was unsuccessful. The only offer to adopt a kitten came from a guy who, apparently, accidentally killed his previous pet cat when he was drunk and is still drinking heavily, so I declined the offer.
Today I took a bus to the nearest big city and left two of my kittens in a shelter there (there aren't any shelters in my city). I simply didn't see any other options. There was about a dozen other kittens in there. I don't know if mine will get adopted, and I think I know what will happen if they wouldn't. i left their favourite toys, food and snacks, although I don't even know if staff would even care enough to pass those to my kittens, they seemed totally indifferent.
I want to help but I am totally helpless myself, so useless in the face of all the misery that surrounds me. So many helpless animals and helpless people, all around me, and nothing I can do, even when I try.
I am such a useless waste of space. I couldn't even take care of my pets. Whhy are they keeping me alive? Why are they wasting resources?
Last edited by Juella : 15-06-2019 at 12:04 PM.
Reason: spelling
I'm sorry things are really difficult and you're having to go into hospital. I can understand your feelings about the kittens. You took so many steps to find a good home for them so you have done your best, we can't always do what is ideal for any animal or human. I know it's upsetting. You're not useless at all, you do a lot around here when you're feeling better. Resources are being offered to you because you are a human who deserves support. You will give back when you can in whatever way that you can but that's not even essential. Please let someone do something kind/supportive for you. I hope things get better for you soon.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.