Iím absolutely broken and really do not want to be here anymore. 4 years ago today my wonderful precious wee boy passed away after a very sudden and horrible virus took hold of him. But I could have prevented it. I could and should have taken him to hospital the night before. But I didnít. And that negligence has haunted me every single day of my miserable stinking pathetic existence since. Iíd say life but it hasnt been a life. And itís exactly what I deserve. I donít deserve a life I donít deserve to be happy. I deserve to be the one in the ground and my wee lad alive and living his life to the max.
Last week I had a counselling session and even she said I was broken and being held together with glue and duck tape.
I canít go on feeling like this for the rest of what little time I have left on this earth. Hopefully the end will be here for me sooner rather than later.
Apologies if this triggers anyone I honestly wish no person on this earth any harm or bad feeling - I wish that entirely on myself and me only