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Old 25-05-2020, 01:33 PM   #741
Cacoethes
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Thanks lindsay :)
My leave has been reinstated so I got to go to the shop today which was nice and I didn't jump in front of a car.
There's good staff on today so I could probably talk to someone if I started to feel bad



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 25-05-2020, 02:27 PM   #742
one_step_closer
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Brilliant stuff. Did you enjoy your time out to the shop? I know what you mean about good staff and bad staff but you need to be talking to absolutely anyone if you feel like something is going to happen. Even if it means picking the best of the worst. I'm glad there are good staff on today.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 25-05-2020, 02:29 PM   #743
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Yes I did thanks
It was so nice to get off the ward

There is no way I'd talk to some of the staff
One of them last night slammed the door in my face when I asked for something and managed to piss w everyone else off too for various reasons



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 25-05-2020, 02:38 PM   #744
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I really do understand. I hope on every shift from now on there is at least someone good on who you feel comfortable talking to and is helpful. I don't know how people get away with the things they do. You should maybe contact the CQC with feedback, if that's the right organisation where you are.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 25-05-2020, 04:42 PM   #745
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Thank you
I'm going to complain to the ward manager, a few other people are too. Including staff!
It is the CQC here too



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 25-05-2020, 06:46 PM   #746
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Oh, that's really good. Something needs to be done.

It's the Mental Welfare Commission we have here but I did think the CQC applied to you.

How are you going to go about it? Like just say things to the ward manager individually?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 25-05-2020, 09:13 PM   #747
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I think so
That particular support worker is being super nice to everyone tonight so I think she knows she's in trouble

I'm struggling a bit
I have a towel in my room that I don't want to give in but I know I should
The nice support worker is busy so I might just try and sleep



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 26-05-2020, 10:08 AM   #748
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How did you get on last night? I hope you stayed safe. It's ok just to hand over a towel if someone is busy, I'm sure they'd know the meaning behind it and maybe come and chat to you when they're not so busy.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 26-05-2020, 10:53 AM   #749
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Hope you stayed safe, how are you?



with Christ I hang upon the cross

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Old 26-05-2020, 11:00 AM   #750
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Thank you both

I did stay safe and just went to sleep
I may hand in the towel today
Though it is useful to have to dry my hands after I wash them!



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 26-05-2020, 12:16 PM   #751
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Well done for staying safe Beckie. I think that it will be a positive step to hand over the towel should you feel unsafe with it.



Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson
"I hear those voices that will not be drowned"
Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
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Old 26-05-2020, 12:20 PM   #752
Cacoethes
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Thanks Dawn

I had ward round.
It was mixed. She is concerned that I'll try and kill myself when I go home.
She said that I should consider supported housing which is not happening.
If this keeps happening then I'll definitely have to go or end up in a 'placement' long term so a hospital.
I really don't want that to happen.
But she also said I'm doing well and having more good days than bad and I look brighter.
They are having a meeting about me next week and I might get a discharge date then.



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 26-05-2020, 12:26 PM   #753
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If you're going to fight for the things you DO want then you'll need to stay safe for the rest of your hospital stay. It's also going to probably need some thinking about if you're going to allow yourself to live. We all want you to live and get back to a meaningful life. People are only trying to keep you safe. What are your thoughts on everything?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 26-05-2020, 01:01 PM   #754
Cacoethes
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Thanks lindsay
Speaking sense as always!

I'm not sure what my thoughts are
I want to get home and be ok and go back to normal (once lockdown is over)
But it's hard to ignore the voices
Although they have become less strong mostly apart from some days like Saturday



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 26-05-2020, 03:43 PM   #755
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I'm really glad to hear the voices are less strong, hopefully you can find ways to manage them when they are quiet and when they are stronger. Will you be continuing with psychology when you get home? There is still time for your meds to really get to work too. I believe you can get through this.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 26-05-2020, 04:22 PM   #756
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I think the psychologist is going to try and get in touch with the community psychologist and see if she can see me
Thanks lindsay



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 26-05-2020, 06:48 PM   #757
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I don't know if this is useful, but the way I look at it is that if I cannot be dead or it doesn't work, what is the least worst option I can choose in terms of having to stay alive? So for me not being dead is really hard and sucks, but if I have to be alive for the moment, I want to remain out of hospital, so I figure out what I need to do for that to happen. Because otherwise being alive would suck even more. So for you that might mean figuring out what that means to stay out of hospital and supported accommodation, etc..



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Old 26-05-2020, 07:34 PM   #758
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That is useful Camden
I do need to stay out of hospital/supported housing because I know I'd despise it
It's just hard to stay taking my meds sometimes
And I will be on a CTO again



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 26-05-2020, 09:17 PM   #759
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Do you know what makes taking your meds hard? Or what makes taking them easier? Has the CTO been changed from before or is it similar? Do you think you want to do therapy in the community if it is an option?

Sorry for all the questions, but also proud of you for all the stuff you have been doing, I know it has not been easy.



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Old 26-05-2020, 09:46 PM   #760
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I just resent the fact that I have to take them for the rest of my life
And the symptoms get better when I take them so I feel I don't need them and stop them and realise I do need them by which time it's too late and something bad has happened.
I think the CTO is going to be the same
And pretty sure the psychologist is going to try and get me therapy in the community

Thanks Camden



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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