As for swaddling, I think it's brilliant, we all do it here in hospital and at home, I don't see how it's dangerous?? I'd swaddle them, put a blanket over the top and tuck the sides in and sleep them on their back with their face free of blankets/anything, and smokefree.
Maybe try putting him straight down not getting him to sleep on you first? Some babies really comfort suck and just need dummies, I can understand your reluctance epecially regarding the BF latch but if it gets to the point where NOTHING else works, give him a dummy and get some sleep!
Even as the stone of the fruit must break
that its heart may stand in the sun,
so must you know pain.
There are only two ways in which one can live their life. One is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is.
We told people around 12 weeks I think we wanted to wait for first scan but that wasn't till 15 weeks and I couldn't wait.
In the hosp the midwife said swaddling caused SID and that they do it in there as they check them every 15 mins. I may try though just with a plain sheet like they did in hosp.
He usually falls asleep when I wind him so hard not to have him sleep on me. He's rubbish at self soothe but the dummy helps! Last night he had colic or wind or something and screamed for ages poor thing.
we were all taught how to swaddle - see this is how fast ideas change! try winding him when he's down, roll him on his side and wind and then just gently lay him on his back? or you could rub his sides or gently his tummy instead? is he in a moses basket? i remember a friend had the same prob and they used to lift the mattress out of the basket and hold it against his back - so like cradled the mattress against him and then gently lowered both into the basket at the same time - must have made him feel safer or something coz it worked.
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
Yeah he's in a Moses basket. We've put a blanket over his sheet which seems to have helped a bit but might try that too.
Is it bad I'm beginning to resent when my hubby gets more sleep than me? I'm so exhausted that all I want to do is cuddle little man. Any other job such as nappy changing or washing him just makes me want to cry. The midwife today said it's not normal that he feeds every hour and I need to try keep him awake to feed for longer as 15 mins isn't enough. I try but once he is sound there is no waking him even stripping him off only adds another couple of minutes of feeding on. He's done when he's done. Plus I'm so sore that 15 minutes is more than enough especially if he's twisty.
Also just found out my wound is infected. On flucloxocillin until swab comes bsk on wed to see if it's anaerobic. If it is I have to swtch to metronidazole. It's so sore though and it smells horrid!
Sorry I'm just feeling a bit sorry for myself tonight.
The only thing I can think of around swaddling and SIDS is the baby possibly getting too hot as sleeping them in a room that's too warm can increase the risk of SIDS.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break
that its heart may stand in the sun,
so must you know pain.
There are only two ways in which one can live their life. One is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is.
im a bit like that too Charlie, ive started carrying food around with me, like a chocolate bar, just in case!
i think people usually wait til 12 weeks, but i HAD to tell people because of circumstances. then my family were talking about it and it leaked, so i was like, whatever ¬_¬
got a call from doc today and i have a load of infections apparently. yay
*hugs Sam*
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
I think I might give up on breast feeding. I'm so sore and keep ending up in tears. My hubby thinks Uts affecting my MH. I'm scared I'll regret it. I'm scared of getting told off by my health visitor. I'm scared it'll affect little man. Plus I have no idea how to switch or make up bottles or how much to give or how often.
No I hate it. I do it because it benefits him but I dread it. I feel like he just sees me as lunch. Everytime he comes to me he cries to be fed. I hardly ever get cuddles that are just cuddles. Why do I feel like such a horrid person?
Is it bad I don't want to call anyone for help because o don't actually want to succeed? I think I want an excuse to stop. Little one nearly tore my nipple off earlier as he was having a strop at me. My hubby has bought me some nipple shields to try help one side as he can't latch properly as it's not big enough for him to find but he also bought formula just in case.
I just feel this massive sense of responsibility that his health depends on me and I don't feel proud of that it's terrifying.
I feel like this constantly though not when feeding although it was interesing to read. I have a feeling my milk isn't through as much as it should be as little man just isn't satisfied. We've just tried him on a little formula after almost an hour on me and he's drank loads. Wonder if he was starving. Maybe I will try mix feeding for a while.
Nipple shields sound like a good idea - you could try them on both sides to cut down on nipple trauma if you like.
He's still SO young and you're still only just getting started with BF. Once you get over this settling in period this is something that you can feed your baby with for a year (or more), always right there wherever you go, right amount, right temperature etc. And think of the financial savings - formula costs a fortune! Plus you need a constant supply of clean water and washing equipment etc.
I don't intend to pressure you but I can't hide my passion for BF and the benefits of it compared to formula.
I really think you need some help and it makes me sad that if you were in NZ you would have your midwife visiting for 6 weeks to help with this but you don't have that. I urge you to follow fallen flame's advice about a BF counsellor, peer counsellor, lactation consultant. Do you go to any mum's group or coffee group? You could really benefit from going to one, it may seem daunting, but everyone who goes is a mum just like you trying to do their best and they will be able to help you too and get you through this rough early patch.
Even as the stone of the fruit must break
that its heart may stand in the sun,
so must you know pain.
There are only two ways in which one can live their life. One is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is.
I know this is a very hard decision for you, you have done so so well to perceiver for so long, but you sound so stressed and unhappy, you should be enjoying your son, and your not, if this is affecting your mh you need to seriously consider bottle feeding, your baby needs a mummy who is fit and well
stopping breast feeding was one of the hardest decisions i had to make, but i have absolutely no regrets, my son is fit and healthy, and i am healthy and well too, like you i was worried about the midwife and what people would say, but my midwife was behind my decision 100%
alot of the important things baby gets from the breast milk it gets in the first 2 weeks, and you have given him that.
also making bottles is a guddle to start with but give it a week and you will be a pro
also we werent going to give Saul a dummy but the midwife in the hospital suggested it as he seemed to want to suck for comfort, it was a great thing for settling him, and at 4 months he found his thumb, which now at 18 months he only uses to help him sleep, its great for self soothing
and swaddling, they told us not to then did it in the hospital, we carried on at home untill he was big enough for a sleeping bag, the theory is that baby cant control their temperature, and if you wrap them up so tight they cant get out when they are too hot, but Saul always seemed to get out
whatever decision you make Im here if you need to talk or discuss anything, just pm me
hope the antibiotics clear up your infection, i was gutted for you that was all you needed on top of your other problems
take care of yourself, your son needs you fit and well
xx
After the bottle last night I managed to BF him all night. It seemed to work as he fed at 1,4,6,7 and 8 which was pretty good. I've also just expressed 2oz of milk so hubby is going to give him that as his 9am feed so I can have a bath. Hope it's enough!
Sorry about the freak out last night things really weren't going well. I still think I will end up stopping BF but doing this a least gives me time to think about it more clearly for a few days. Not being exclusively my responsibility has definitely taken the pressure off though.
Thank you all for the advice etc. Debbie thank you for the reasurance I'm not a terrible mother I think that's exactly what I needed to hear!
Sorry again forcthe freak out although I'm sure it won't ve the last!
I didn't see a freak out. I saw a tired mum wanting to do her very best but just a little overwhelmed. Nothing wrong with that and certainly nothing unsual.
Ultimately you are the one who can make the best decision for you and your family. Hope you can feel better soon about it all and whatever you decide we are here to help :)
Even as the stone of the fruit must break
that its heart may stand in the sun,
so must you know pain.
There are only two ways in which one can live their life. One is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is.
I gave up breastfeeding after 2 weeks because I felt horrible! I felt satressed all the time and he only ever cried when he was cuddling me because he could smell the milk! I can totally understand the wanting to stop and I started expressing and giving formula but after a while the expressing just got too much and formula feeding was just so much easier for me! I didn't get told off by anyone! They just told me how to make feeds up correctly! I do feel guilty something but it only lasts about 2 seconds and if It goes on abit longer I talk to my partner and although he orignally wanted me to bf he thinks its so much better for my mental health bottle feeding and he likes the fact I'm less upset and stressed and he can also feed him so he feels like he has imput! Infact now what we do is he will feed him and I will change nappies, which works really well for me at night as I have always needed a lot more sleep then my partner! He is a total star!
I told people when I was about 4 weeks I just couldn't hold it in! :p
have you tried expressing as much as you can to be sure there's no supply issues? 2oz doesn't sound a lot but i can't remember. are you drinking plenty? maybe the latch is not quite right hence the soreness and not getting enough? We used ready-made formula, just pour straight from a carton into a sterilised bottle as our healthy start vouchers covers it but not the powder (at least not in the shops we went into). maybe worth having some in and then feed all day and just give a bedtime feed of formula now and again to have a break, you're entitled to mini-meltdowns, you're a frazzled mummy.
am concerned about a friend since having her daughter they have only been to church 3 times and the baby is i think 3 months old. i hope she's not got PND but i keep texting and facebooking little 'how you doing' messages, hoping if she's struggling she'll open up.
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
2oz was the most I could do my boobs literally had nothing left in them. Managed another 2oz at lunch time and going to try again tonight for some more. Little man managed to sleep 3.5 hours after a bottle which seemed like a lifetime. I'm still going to try keep a combo going as I know my milk is good for him but not sure how long for.
Sunshine thank you, I'm pleased it worked out for you going from breast to bottle. It gives me hope!!
Does anyone know how to stop my c section wound from smelling? The antibiotics aren't working and the swab results aren't back till Wednesday and my tummy can now be smelled when I have clothes on. Plus the red area has almost doubled in size! It's disgusting.
random question:
are ANY psychiatric medications safe in pregnancy.
when i was in hospital the other week with possible ectopic, they gave me lorazepam two nights in a row, so im not sure.
hope you get your wound checked out Sam, doesnt sound nice :(
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
random question:
are ANY psychiatric medications safe in pregnancy.
when i was in hospital the other week with possible ectopic, they gave me lorazepam two nights in a row, so im not sure.
hope you get your wound checked out Sam, doesnt sound nice :(
they will never say any psyc meds are safe in pregnancy as it is unethical to test medications on pregnant women
however most psycs have a good idea of the side effects from experience, what they do is will assess the risk to your health by continuing/stopping/changing meds/ and the risk to the baby
i was on citalopram throughout my pregnancy, my baby ended up in special care, he was breathing fast and very jumpy, they put it down to the citalopram
as i planned to breast feed they changed my meds to sertraline when i delivered as its safer for breast feeding
talk to your psyc and your obstiatrician, and they will come up with a plan that is right for you
oh and my son is fine now you would never know he was unwell after birth
im not actually on any psych meds, havnt been for about 6 months, but with the BPD and psychosis plus all these hormones, i could really do with a little help!
and i dont sleep well at all. all adds up!
have tried everything!
sorry, bit of a ramble there!
I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!
Becky (?), it's really hard to give you a straight answer about these kinds of meds and pregnancy. Some antidepressants are considered "safe" as the benefits of taking them may outweigh the risks to both mother and baby of not taking them. Generally anti-psychotic drugs are considered less safe than antidepressants. Some BZP's can be given in very small amounts eg. one dose of temazepam can be given in early labour to help you sleep. So it's really an individual call to be made between you, your midwife and doctor. When do you next see the midwife?
Mrs Sam, how are you getting on? Have they done anything further about your infection yet?
Even as the stone of the fruit must break
that its heart may stand in the sun,
so must you know pain.
There are only two ways in which one can live their life. One is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is.
