So sometimes last year my mum made an appointment with the scar clinic about getting rid of my scars. ( i'm not actually sure whether she told me about the appointment or whether i forgot) but it took ages to get the appointment and the appointment was a few weeks ago. While we was waiting to see the doctor my mum made it clear that she wanted to say everything.she's adimant to get rid of my self-harm scars,and i love her dearly i'd do anything to see her happy,she only wants to get rid of my scars because she knows how judge mental people can be and she doesn't want me to be upset. Even though i'm not sure whether i'm ready to get rid of them.
So anyway,when we went into the room the doctor told us we had a few choices,either putting make up on the scars to make them less visible,removing the scars in strips which would mean i would have a few long scars down my arm instead of the s/h scars i have,actually putting a balloon under my skin,but that would involve going to the hospital once a week to get the balloon changed,and in this case not all the scars would be gone as i don't have enough skin on my forearm to cover it. And finally,the last one was a skin graft,which would involve three seperate skin grafts to get rid of all the scars,this would involve taking skin from my thigh or buying new skin which is closely matched to my skin colour(which is half yemenise,half english),but the skin graft would make my arm look like it's been burned and has healed nicely but will look better over time.
The option that my mum decided would be best is the skin graft,as it's more suitable,and the overall better option.
I think i'm fine with this decision. But i have to see a phych before i have the operations,to make sure that i won't end up self-harming again. But i have this feeling that when all my scars have gone,i'll end up self-harming again.
I haven't told this anybody as i know that if i blow this chance,it will take a very long time for another appointment and my mum woulod be very annoyed and upset.
I suppose i'm just looking for advice,has anybody had a skin graft to remove their scars,and if so,how does it look? and do you regret it? etc.
thanks guys, xx
I have never gotten them removed hun but wanted to reply anyway (hope you dont mind)
Do you see a therapist or that at the moment? 9not including the psych you will see before the skin graft goes ahead...
am thinking of you
and also, I know how hard it is to do what we want when others want something different, but hun this is your life, you are in control! If you dont feel ready to lose them, please say something...
sometimes being strong means not holding back the tears but letting them fall
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I don't have any many words at the moment, but wanted to let you know that I had read your post.
I think that it is really really really important that you are completely honest with both your mum and yourself about this treatment.
Skin graphs are not pain free and it seems a very extreme measure to go to if you can not guarantee you won't do it again because you miss your scars.
at the end of the day, it is your body, you have to live with the scars aand the judgements that are sometimes made because of them.
Your mum can not and should not be making those decisions for you, in my opinion, but I am probably wrong, I usually am!
My thoughts are with you, I urge you to think very carefully bout this.
k x
Doubt yourself and you doubt everything you see. Judge yourself and you see judges everywhere. But if you listen to the sound of your own voice, you can rise above doubt and judgment. And you can see forever.
Im sorry now but this all sounds like ur mother decided all of a sudded SHE didnt like the scars, What about you ?
Its your body ,your scars ,later on in life if you want to get rid of them so be it .Id tell her where to go anyway.
A few scars never hurt anyone ,its ur choice ,and i dont like the sound of this at all.
WOW i find it quite wrong that your mum wants you to do this to you because she doesnt like your scars. doesnt she understand that the skin graft will leave more scars needless to say the pain it would cause you, mentally and physically!
im sorry i dont mean to sound so judgemental but im finding it really hard to take it that she would make you do it.i understand why you are thinking of going through with it for her.
my advice be very honest with the psych about how you feel about having it done and how you feel about being scared about sh-ing again, which i know wont be easy but he/she maybe your only hope not to go through with it if you cant get your mum to understand
anyway only my opinion.thinking of you sweetie and sending huggles xx
this pic is so i can always remember jen who was my l'il sock monkey friend who has left ryl and i miss her!!!
Thank you guys so much for all the replies it means a lot,sorry it took me so long to reply.
Yes my mum is being forceful,and i know she doesn't like the scars,i think it's mainly because she doesn't want anybody at work finding out her daughter used to self-harm. She works in A&E as a senior sister,and her jo means the world to her and she knows that if people find out they will be very judgemental and she thinks they won't respect her enough if they think her family is broken down(so she says.)
I really don't want to get rid of my scars,the thought literally terrifies me,and in the past few weeks i've actually had urges which i haven't had in over a year. But i can't tell my mum it'll upset her so much after all the time we've waited for the appointment.
No i don't see a therapist anymore,but i wish i did,i think it's easier when you have somebody to talk to who won't judge you.
I think i'm just going to speak to the physch about it, but i'm just so worried about messing this chance up. I don't know what to do, it's one of the hardest decisions i've ever made. I'm loosing sleep and i'm not eating. It's so hard :(
Thank you soo much guys, i really do appreciate it :)
xxx
Well i'm seeing her tomorrow(thursday),so nervous,seems like ages that i've actually spoke to a proffesional.
I know it has to be my choice,i'm just going to tell the physc the truth and we'll see. I just hope my mum won't be mad with me if the outcome isnh't the one she wanted.
Well i personally didn't think it would affect it anyway,it's just what my mum thinks.
![[Awakening]'s Avatar](image.php?s=4d8d5962ce25a628c5dc50ce6fb8ab06&u=17767&dateline=1333971866)
this pic is so i can always remember jen who was my l'il sock monkey friend who has left ryl and i miss her!!! 
