I've had little to no experience in the 'working world' really ..
I was a volunteer at a charity shop, which I loved actually .. but I just left, without ever getting in touch with them and I can't even explain why. I did find her number and text her after a few months but what good is an explanation then lol.
I worked at a shop called Savers as a sales apprentice, and quit after 2 shifts.
and today I just quit my full time job, which I really ****ing needed, after 3 shifts .. :|
Like, in my head they were all proper reasons, with the apprentice I'd just come home crying, feel miserable 24/7 and despisedddd it! .. Everyone looks at me like 'No one likes their job, you're pathetic, lazy and a loser' .. But no one understands at all, like this job I just quit I genuinely really ****ing needed .. but I have anxiety right, and it was working in a Bingo Hall .. and ohmygod the intense environment was just making it too much for me, my heart was thudding out my chest constantly, and then I had to literally RUN to customers for hours .. I'm a big chick right, so being unfit on top of my anxiety meaned a very red faced/sweaty mess for hours .. Which made me feel SO low about myself and made me get anxious and sweat more because I knew everyone was staring at me watching me struggle lol .. It's a horrible cycle that nobody around me seems to understand.
I guess I just feel like, if I'm genuinely SO SO SOOOO unhappy, like .. to the point where I'm full on M I S E R A B L E waking up crying and going to sleep dreading it .. then it's just not healthy for me to be there ?
Just feel like such a failure, and now everyone just expects it of me.
It's all **** because I've done it to myself really :/
you're definitely not a failure, if a job makes you feel that horrible then you have every right to quit. Doesnt make you lazy or a loser, most people tend to not understand how bad anxiety can really get I also have it so I understand and I'd also most likely not be able to handle that job cause it seems like a stressful situation with anyone with social anxiety or anxiety in general
♪"'Cause I'm about to break down,
I'm searchin' for a way out,
I'm a liar, I'm a cheater, I'm a non-believer
I'm a popular, popular monster"♪
I can totally understand having anxiety about working and things but you have to do something. Can you get any help at all to help with the anxiety? Maybe you could do a CBT course online?
I can understand that it is stressful starting a new job but I also don't think you are giving it a chance to get better. I always find it weird for about a month or so until you get to know others and feel comfortable with what your doing.
Life can be beautiful if you let it.
Step back, breathe and take it in
I have to agree with the above that it doesn't sound like you're giving these jobs a chance to get better. I can understand that anxiety is very difficult to manage in the workplace but really the best way to beat anxiety is to challenge it and stand up to it. Caving in, running away, that isn't solving the issue of your anxiety. I'd advice you to maybe look into getting some help with your anxiety. You know now you have these anxiety issues, so it would be good to speak to prospective employers about these issues and have plans in place for if it becomes an issue while you're working again.
Also, and I mean this in the nicest way, sometimes we have to do things we don't like. Sometimes we don't like every single aspect of our jobs, i doubt there many people who love everything about their job. But you're saying you really needed this job, and that's really important to remember. The more jobs you walk out of, the harder it will be to get another. Before you quit, try talking to your managers and supervisors about your concerns. Try thinking rationally about your experience and make sure you're making your decision based on logical reasoning rather than an emotional response. Bad days happen, it doesn't mean tomorrow will be the same. If you really don't like a job the best thing to do is to find another before quiting. That way you don't have a break in income and your cv looks a lot better.
You see a mouse trap
I see free cheese
And a ****ing challenge
My job makes me extremely anxious and I have to really force myself to go. It's been better since my colleagues have been aware of this. They keep an eye out for me and my manager has talked me down from very anxious states in the past. Is there any way that, when you get a job, you could talk to your manager and explain to them how anxious you get? There may be things they can do to help accommodate you. Sometimes just having someone in the know can be useful.
A few shifts is not usually long enough to tell if it's going to be ok. In the past, it's taken me about a month to get past the initial freaking out about everything stage.
I find that being in a job gives me a lot more self-esteem than I have when I'm unemployed. I like the independence, even though I only work two days. It might really help you. :)
“Our defeats are softened and our victories are sweetened because we did it together.” - Toby Ziegler.
I don't have much advice, but I wanted you to know I know how you feel; I seem to struggle to hold down jobs and they become too overwhelming.
Just so you know you're not alone <3
x x x
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
