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Old 08-12-2017, 01:09 PM   #1
LakesideMiners
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Parents Found Blades

So my parents found my blades.
Last night something unrelated happened.
I was moved downstairs. And I guess my dad went through my room. The howled out phone book I kept my tools and first aid in is gone. I hade one razor blade hidden somewhere else though. He missed that. I just know this will be brought up in therapy next time I have it. Also that I will be forced to talk about it ahead of time, with punishments if I don’t talk about. I just wanted to end it so much last night. Thanks for reading! Lakeside Out!



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Old 08-12-2017, 02:27 PM   #2
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This must be really difficult, but maybe talking about it will be a good thing. Do you think you can talk about it with your therapist and about the feelings of ending it? How are you feeling today?





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Old 08-12-2017, 04:40 PM   #3
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I'm sorry this has happened. I remember the level of stress that used to occur when my parents had gone through my room/removed things but like Sketchy has said, this has potentially given you the opportunity to have a conversation about it?

Also, you are one step ahead because you know they know but they haven't approached you about it yet, which gives you a chance to collect your thoughts and decide what you'd like to tell them.

Although parents finding out stuff can be difficult, so is keeping secrets and hiding stuff from people so maybe once the dust settles things might feel a little bit easier?



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Old 08-12-2017, 10:01 PM   #4
LakesideMiners
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I’m surprised they haven’t confronted me yet. My therapist does know, she gave me her cell for me to text or call if I ever need to(She’s not in love me. She gave it to me if something happened and I could not wait until the next session to talk about it, my parents and me have an agreement that they will not go through any texts to her)(I’m making this a bit awkward...)
I tried useing a knife at first(this was when I started getting thoughts about SHing.

It one, did not work at all, two, I hid it under my bookshelf where the cleaner found it the next day.

When my mom picked me up from school (I had a after school club that day) she confronted me, when I refused to talk she said I could talk about it with her(my mom) or my dad. I choose dad but only to delay the inevitable.

I was punished not for self-harming. But for not listening to my dad talk.(I covered my ears and burred my face in Stitch’s fur. From what I did hear and remember(I may be incorrect) but he told me that he had to deal with worst.

This happend yesterday
So I am kinda noisily in the bathroom. I went in to cut, I was told to go back to bed because I was in their to long, I then got in bed, had to pee, peed, mom runs up, next thing I know I was moved into the guest room. I am going to be there permanently now most likely.

So this morning when I went up to my old room to get something to wear. I noticed my phone book that I kept my tools in was gone(I had hollowed out a phone book a few years ago. I had no use for it until now. Still it is neat for a secret compartment.)

I had one blade hidden in my nightstand in case I wanted to cut in bed. That was still there. So that is all I have left. No gauze, no tape. Just one blade.

I don’t feel like I fit in or have a place in my family. I just don’t feel right. I apparently do nothing but “disrespect” my mom and dad.

So many conflicting emotions. I hope my dad doesn’t look up my Username(I use the same name for everything) and finds out I have an account on here.


Edit: To clarify, my therapist knows that I cut, not that I want to end it. I feel a bit better though. The thoughts of ending it are not as strong today. I think I just was a bit overwhelmed.


Last edited by Aardbei : 26-12-2017 at 01:09 PM. Reason: Please see your PMs


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Old 08-12-2017, 11:15 PM   #5
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So my dad just confronted me about it. Did not say much, he did not force me to talk, but I still had a “tone” with him. He was telling me I can be I. The bathroom as long as a want when I get home, as long as I am in bed before 9:30. So he is telling me to masterbate(most like spelled wrong, but phone refuses to correct it, **ck you apple. Your devices are good, but you are to dam limiting.) or cut. He did tell me he was tired of me treating him like a ass(I don’t wipe him. Sorry! But I make it a point to make at least one bad joke a day). He has taken my things. I do have one blade left. But no tape or nonstick pads.



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Old 08-12-2017, 11:41 PM   #6
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I think it would be a good idea to talk to your therapist about this. it’s good to have someone to talk to about it.





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Old 09-12-2017, 02:55 AM   #7
LakesideMiners
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I will tell her next time I see here. She has an account on here. Made it so she could use the search function to see my posts.



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Old 24-12-2017, 08:49 PM   #8
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I am sorry that happened to you. I empathize with how awful it is when your supplies get taken away. My Mom took my first aid kit away which made things a million times worse, as I found a new method of hurting myself, which I don’t recommend as I still struggle with this new method today.

I now have my first aid kit back. I gave my Mom a book to read about how to help a loved one who self-harms. I think the book said to not take away tools/ kits someone can use to self-harm as SH is sometimes done for control, so the person feels they are losing the only form of control they have left. That’s how I felt. Or that they’ll find other ways to hurt themselves which is just as bad.


Last edited by Celticroots : 24-12-2017 at 08:57 PM.
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