It sounds like a dreadful, prolonged trauma and betrayal by the very people who were supposed to protect you and I'm so sorry you had to endure it.
It sounds trite, but you survived, you're here, breathing and alive.
The journey through healing is likely to be a long one. At times it may be incredibly painful (and so you should have a clear plan for your safety and protection when things are overwhelming). It may feel raw sometimes, frustrating, or confusing at others. There may well be times when you feel freer and lighter, more connected and whole. This proces often isn't linear, though.
I think these memories, as tormenting as they must feel at times, are an indication that on some level your brain feels strong enough to want to try and process them.
I hope you can keep writing, owning your right to thoughts, feelings and your self as a whole, however you experience them.
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