Live Help


Forum Jump
Post New Thread  Reply
Old 28-02-2015, 07:39 PM   #1
Born Survivor
Paul :)
 
Born Survivor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Somewhere far away ...
I am currently:
Personal update (contains ED)

Recovery…. The battle with anorexia is near it’s end


I think i have come to the point now were i can comfortably say that i have beaten anorexia or as close to than i ever will.
I’m eating 3 big meals a day plus snacks, day after day after day. No slip ups no excuses nothing.

I’ve had a cold for the past 7 days making my mouth/head/body hurt like hell, before i’ve struggled to eat because it’s just been to hard. But now, no excuses just eat end off. Pain… The pain of relapsing will be so much worse than some yucky meal times.

November 2011 at a eating disorder clinic the nurse told me this “if you don’t start to make some improvements and get better you will only have months to live, so we are very close into putting you full time into a eating disorder home”.. I laughed i told her i would just run away, i walked out left never came back. Woke up the next day and thought “f**k the nurse f**k my anorexia.. i’m not dying.. I’m going to get better or die trying.. because i want to because i can because i will”..

Mum is the only person who has ever supported me. I saw 2 counsellor’s who told me “i wasn’t ready to recover”… I was so angry.. How dare you…. Just because i don’t forgive the people who abused me just because the pain is still there just because in some respect i don’t forgive myself for not doing more.. Doesn’t mean i'm not ready....

The fact’s are my hair has stopped falling out, my moods are better, i’ve gone up in sizes for clothes my stamina has increased 100%.. My flashbacks/nightmares have decreased. I have muscle, my back has stopped aching completely. I’m not 100% there but i will always find room for improvement. But i’m pretty close. (p.s don't focus on numbers.. threw my scales away years ago.. doesn't help at all...)

Not bad for someone who was told i “wasn’t ready to recover”.
I didn’t give up, i fought like hell, i’m happier without anoxeria, recovery is so worth it.

Anoxeria is just a parasite it will eat you from the inside out mentally/physically until you are just a shell. Please don't let it take any of your life/happiness like it did with me. It can be beaten, if you are struggling today stop relax and start again tomorrow. You are stronger than you think.

P.s everything does not happen for a reason…


Last edited by Born Survivor : 28-02-2015 at 07:42 PM. Reason: .


Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?

Charles Bukowski
We all wear masks everyone everyday. Sometimes we wear them so much we forget who we really are - Nikita


Born Survivor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2015, 11:52 AM   #2
Pi.R^2
I always have a choice
 
Pi.R^2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Safety Cupboard
I am currently:

This is one of the most inspiring and uplifting posts I have read in a long time. Thank you so much for sharing your story and congratulations on defying everyone who told you you weren't ready. You've done amazingly!



We may not see eye to eye, but we can respect each other's opinions and find the truth in them.
Perhaps in those honest conversations, instead of demonising each other,
we might see each other as imperfect humans, doing our best. ~ Jodi Picoult


Pi.R^2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2015, 01:03 PM   #3
LittleCloud
LittleCloud
 
LittleCloud's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Australia
I am currently:

Wow Paul! Thanks so much for sharing. I agree with Jenna 100%- your recovery journey is one of the most inspiring stories I've heard on here in a long time. Sheer willpower! I hope you get over your cold soon- well done. It doesn't sound like you're letting anything drag you back



So she lights up a candle for hope to be found
Captive and blind by the darkness around
Each wave a promise, a new hope reborn
Sunrise consoles at the break of dawn

Kamelot - A Sailorman's Hymn Lyrics



LittleCloud is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-03-2015, 09:05 PM   #4
Born Survivor
Paul :)
 
Born Survivor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Somewhere far away ...
I am currently:

Thanks for your kind responses means a lot..

10 days away from being 2 years 9 months free from self harm too =D

My cold is starting to ease off slowly.. Getting 8 plus hours sleep a night is helping... I will destroy it with resting ;)

I found a few people on my journey who were going through similiar issues to me and when i was talking to them i always found they made an excuse "oh i haven't eaten today because it's too hard"... I always struggled with that thought process, because of course recovery is hard.. If it was easy you wouldn't of got ill in the first place...

It makes me wonder if i did "recovery" the "right way".. But i guess i've done/doing it my way, what works for me doesn't work for some other and vs versa

I think for me anorexia/recovery is summed up in this quote

"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done" - Rocky Balboa



Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?

Charles Bukowski
We all wear masks everyone everyday. Sometimes we wear them so much we forget who we really are - Nikita


Born Survivor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13-03-2015, 07:43 PM   #5
Born Survivor
Paul :)
 
Born Survivor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Somewhere far away ...
I am currently:

Yeah i was a true mess then... Sorry =|

Oh the positive note i'm 2 year’s 9 months free from self harm today :)



Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?

Charles Bukowski
We all wear masks everyone everyday. Sometimes we wear them so much we forget who we really are - Nikita


Born Survivor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14-03-2015, 01:30 PM   #6
Snow White.
I am a fairy.
 
Join Date: May 2004
I am currently:

Wow, amazing!
Keep up the great work and acknowledging your strength!!

Snow White. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-03-2015, 11:53 AM   #7
Pi.R^2
I always have a choice
 
Pi.R^2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Safety Cupboard
I am currently:

Well done on 2 years 9 months free of self harm; that's brilliant :)



We may not see eye to eye, but we can respect each other's opinions and find the truth in them.
Perhaps in those honest conversations, instead of demonising each other,
we might see each other as imperfect humans, doing our best. ~ Jodi Picoult


Pi.R^2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-03-2015, 01:19 PM   #8
crazykat
Fight for another day
 
crazykat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Australia

You have done so well, you should be very proud.



"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."


crazykat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-04-2015, 02:06 PM   #9
Epicene
 
Epicene's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
I am currently:

This is so amazing to read. Go you!

Epicene is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Members Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Censor is ON
Forum Jump


Sea Pink Aroma
All times are GMT +1. The time now is 02:04 AM.