Ally sweety, i know it's tempting... i KNOW it is. People say to wait 10 minutes and see if you still feel like it. Different things work for different people. I tend to wait an hour or even more often a day....i say to myself i CAN harm tomorrow, but then when tomorrow comes i tend to be in a better state, or otherwise i use other strategies.
Can you take a PRN? OR all of your PRNs to get that break you need! It is not a dangerous thing if it is prescribed, and you get to sleep?
Melancholia is my mummy Black Rose is my cupboard hiding in buddie All I'm Living For owns me...i'm her pet frog Aimee in Wonderland is my best-ever-man-girl-lover Lozza is my lovely care bear
I agree with butterfly, the waiting strategy seems like a good one. All you can do is try. Keep talking to us here, we are all here for you and care about you very much. Love you sweetheart.
Kat xxx
"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."
Oh, if only i lived next door to you, i would be on your couch with you RIGHT NOW holding your hand!
love you darling *hugs*
Melancholia is my mummy Black Rose is my cupboard hiding in buddie All I'm Living For owns me...i'm her pet frog Aimee in Wonderland is my best-ever-man-girl-lover Lozza is my lovely care bear
The most important thing, Ally, is that you're trying. And why would we not want to help?? That is what this place is for, isn't it? The idea of waiting is that you might wait out the urge, but I'm sure you knew that and I'm just answering a rhetorical question. Oh well.
At the risk of sounding stupid, what are PRNs?
The point of it is that you wait that time, and in that time it is possible that your state will change. Bad thoughts and feelings can not persist forever. Eventually the chemical that makes a bad thought or feeling runs out, it is physically impossible for it to last. That doesn't mean you will feel better, but it means that you may be more able to help yourself out of it in 10 minutes, or in an hour, or a day, or whatever time it is.
Don't focus too much on why we want to help you. The basic explanation is, and i speak for all of us i think , that you are a kind and polite person who cares for us in our times of need and who is a human being who is NOT perfect, just like the rest of us are not perfect, and sometimes stuff up and do silly things, but is human just like the rest of us too.
I always wonder why some people get things and others don't, when i feel that some get the opposite to what they deserve. I tend to believe now that there really is no such thing as 'deserving' and if there is it doesn't work how it should, so if we have something good we should make the most of it. That is just my way of thinking about it =]
Melancholia is my mummy Black Rose is my cupboard hiding in buddie All I'm Living For owns me...i'm her pet frog Aimee in Wonderland is my best-ever-man-girl-lover Lozza is my lovely care bear
I've been putting off the urge but I think I'm getting to the point where I'm fed up and just want to do it, so so much. So why am I still typing then?
I feel like if I keep putting it off, because its my coping mechanism, I will be tempted to do something worse because I dont know how to cope. Does that make any sense?
Oh, thanks.
If putting it off will put you in more danger...*pulls face* I don't wanna say it. I got told it once though, by a counsellor, when I voiced the same concern you did, so if a counsellor said it... *shrugs*
Is there anything else you do to cope? Crosswords?
Kit, that is not a stupid question, i didn't used to know either.
Melancholia, i have to go to bed now and you should probebly try to do the same? take that PRN and get some sleep? But i will be thinking of you.
Every minute you put it off you are getting that much stronger and proving to your brain that you have survived without it. My pdoc says It can sink in unconciously, even if you don't conciously believe it.
Have to go now as i am falling asleep.
take care
Melancholia is my mummy Black Rose is my cupboard hiding in buddie All I'm Living For owns me...i'm her pet frog Aimee in Wonderland is my best-ever-man-girl-lover Lozza is my lovely care bear
Ally, im guessing that is your name. Are you listening to any music? If its depressing please turn it off. But some happy music on, and i know that is so so hard when your buried into this pit and you see no way out, but there is ALWAYS a way out, things can always get better.
I know how you feel, im suicidal most days, but i think of who im leaving behind and it stops me. I think i will get past this, and im not giving into this illness.
thank you, Lily, for saving mummy's life*.
You are my one and only, you can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight, and you'll be alright.
he he he... crosswords... if it wasn't so serious and didn't really work as well as they do i could laugh.
Melancholia is my mummy Black Rose is my cupboard hiding in buddie All I'm Living For owns me...i'm her pet frog Aimee in Wonderland is my best-ever-man-girl-lover Lozza is my lovely care bear
Want to write a proper answer but cant make my brain work, its like there's only so much room and its all being taken up by thoughts of self destructing.
Taken a lot of PRN its starting to make me sleepy hopefully I can sleep soon.
Are you feeling any brighter today, Ally? I hope so. Hopefully the sun is shining on you, lightening your mood, even if its just that little bit in order for reason and logic to start to work.
Do you like to read or are you more of a movie girl? Whichever you like best, sometimes they help. Being a book girl, I read and read and fall into the story as if I truly belong there, it makes me forget reality for a while. Not sure if it'll do the same for you but if you feel bad again like you did last night, its worth a shot. Pick your most favouritest movie/book in the entire world (hopefully it isnt depressing) and read/watch it, but not just gazing at the picture or absently turning the pages, really get into it. Pretend like you've never seen or read it before, or look for bits you've never noticed. Imagine the smells in the air, the feel of whatever your favourite character is touching, work out how they might be feeling emotionally. If they speak differently, for instance old english or something, try adopting that pattern of speech in your head.
Just be careful not to do it too much...like all the time. I did it almost all the time for years and now its hard to hold reality. Dissociating is way easier than it should be.
*smiles* anyway I hope you are feeling better. Feel free to pm if you aren't.
Melancholia is my mummy Black Rose is my cupboard hiding in buddie All I'm Living For owns me...i'm her pet frog Aimee in Wonderland is my best-ever-man-girl-lover Lozza is my lovely care bear
the only time of ours' you have wasted is that which you have spent apologising for yourself ally. Remember i told you that time what is written up the top of my DBT sheets? 'do not apologise for being alive'... it is true, it gets us nowhere.
tell us how you are feeling? have you talked to your mum at all? or is that not really on your mind at the moment?
Melancholia is my mummy Black Rose is my cupboard hiding in buddie All I'm Living For owns me...i'm her pet frog Aimee in Wonderland is my best-ever-man-girl-lover Lozza is my lovely care bear
but I've wasted your time enough. I'm sorry.