A few months ago I tried telling both parents of my SH problem. They didn't listen... at all. My dad completely avoided conversation. My mom yelled at me because "cutting is stupid and idiotic."
I honestly think my dad forgot. He never brings it up, and he acts like things never changed. I was always really close to him.
My mom, however, she's been getting angrier at me than before. She used to beat my brother until he ran away (and is currently living with his girlfriend and is a crack addict). After that, my mom needed someone to replace him. Even though she doesn't physically hurt me, she hurts me emotionally, always calling me terrible names and threatening to hurt and even kill me. I yell, since I have a short temper with her. You can say we never really got along, since it started when I was about 8 or 9. (I'm 13 now)
Sometimes, at home, I purposely don't wear a hoodie or bracelets, to try and get her to ask about the scars again (if I tell her straight up, she'll start yelling again). I know she sees them, she often stares right at them, but she doesn't mention it.
I just don't know what to do... I want help, but I can't get it without her finding out, then she'll start yelling and threatening to hurt me again like she normally does when she gets mad at me (which happens VERY often). And I don't want to tell my dad, he's been through a lot and I don't want to add to that. My brother is his only other child, and it was extremely hard for him to see my brother destroy his life like that with an addiction.
And I'm not telling the counselors or nurses at school. None of them like me, anyway. And I just KNOW that they won't understad.
What do I do? :/
Hey, I'm sorry that you are having to go through all of this. It can be difficult when parents act like they don't care or they ignore what you tell them in general. I know you said that you don't want to tell the counselors and nurses at your school, but I highly suggest you try to tell someone. You could always reach out to a friend, a friend's parent, a different family member, a teacher, your doctor, or even the police since you are being threatened. There are so many options to try and get the help you need, you just have to keep pushing for help until someone actually does something. I really do hope things start to get better for you. Take care :)
Hi sweetie, I'm sorry you're going through this right now *hugs*
Self-injury is a scary topic, and unfortunately, it's not uncommon for someone to react this way. Your parents love you, and it's probably extremely difficult for them to come to terms with this situation. It's so much easier to express our emotions aggressively than it is lovingly. It's just how the brain works, as much as it sucks on your part. But it does not mean that they don't care, it's just their own way of dealing with it. It doesn't sound as though they know much about cutting by seeing it as "stupid and idiotic". Do you think maybe you could try and send them in the direction of some more information? They might not be willing to listen to you without yelling, but they might take it more seriously if they see that this is a problem which is a lot more common than first anticipated. Maybe if you do a quick google search, you could try and send a link/print off a page and hand it to your mum, so she can try to understand a bit better?
I know you said you don't want to tell any of the nurses or counsellers at school, and I understand that fear. But these people care for you, they care for your health and your well being. If you're not happy, and if your parents aren't providing you with the right kind of emotional support, then someone needs to know about this. Not some scary professional with a clip board, but just someone who can sit down and listen to you for a while, so you can let the stresses of these emotions out in a healthy way. You say that none of them like you, but to me it just sounds like you're projecting your own feelings of self-worth on to what other people think of you. You may feel like nobody cares, but I know that people care. I care. We all care.
Talking can seem like the scariest option, especially when we feel so fragile and vulnerable. But you won't feel this way forever. They are only temporary and the emotions will pass. Sometimes we can't help our circumstances. Unfortunately, you can't pin your parents down and just make them understand in an instant. But through the power of talking, releasing those words really can have a healing effect on both the talker and the listener. It's not so much about what life has dealt us, but more about how we learn to healthily deal with our situation. If you don't want to talk to the counsellers or nurses, is there anyone else you can turn to? Perhaps a teacher that you get along with, or even a friend at school? I know you think they won't understand, but this problem is so common, you won't have been the first case they've seen. And that's not to de-value you or your situation, it's just to help make you realise that you are not alone, and that you can get through this with a little trust and reassurance of those around you.
Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world awaits in darkness for the light that is you.
i agree with what Lilmissjay and Pixiedust said....
in addition... it is your father and mother's responsibility to take care of you (if you were 19 i might say differently, but you're not). do not worry about burdening your father with this. he needs to know. you may have to be blunt with him. also, you say that it has torn him apart to watch your brother's life unravel... but if you don't get help, it is likely that yours will do the same...
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world awaits in darkness for the light that is you.
