Originally Posted by Auror.
I think paying is a great idea, but also just wondering if there is any sort of action or gesture you can take as well? If not it's okay, but if you can physically help with the cleaning up, or maybe get her a new plant as well that might go a lot further than just paying to fix it as it shows a little more thought? I don't know if that makes any sense because I don't mean it to be harsh. Just do the best you can.
When you say you had a meltdown, what does that mean for you? Do you know what causes or triggers it, and/or what happens during that time?
Originally Posted by Unbreakable.
I second the suggestion to maybe get a new plant for her.
I think that maybe the best way to make her feel better is to work out how to handle meltdowns. I know it's so much easier said than done though. Guilt can be overwhelming and get in the way of working through what caused this.
I did most of the cleaning of the garden, the only thing I left were some damaged plants because I didn't know how to fix them. Getting her a new plant is a good idea, thank you. I would have to ask her which plant she would like which is kind of what I meant by paying because I honestly have no clue. The garden is very much her escape that she has for herself.
In regards to the meltdowns. I guess it's like pressure building and building until a little thing triggers an explosion and I get really agitated (like there's a horrible energy in my body that I can't get rid of), I tend to scream, shout and cry (eventually I get so distressed that I start hitting my head or pulling out my hair). I have hurt myself quite badly in the past because I'm trying to use pain to get rid of the agitation.
Usually I would go for a walk because being in the house makes it worse, I feel like a caged animal. I guess because that wasn't an option yesterday, I went out in the garden and started throwing things from the shed.
I've been trying techniques that have been suggested like taking diazapam, getting an ice pack or a fan, exercising and taking myself away.
I ask my wife to help me calm down but she gets upset by the shouting and doesn't react very well which causes things to spiral. We talk a lot after the incidents about what we can do differently but it's taking a while to put into practice.
I guess a positive is that the episodes are getting quicker to resolve themselves but it's still horrible in the meantime. I hate it. It's like I 'm stood watching my body behave in this awful way and I can't stop it which is why I ask my wife to help me.
I had another episode last night which just ended up with my curled up on the bedroom floor sobbing for ages.
It just all feels too much and I don't know what to do. I dread waking up in the mornings. It's never ending and it hurts so much.