Scared of poisoning

[tamobhuuta]

I'm not sure, probably next week. Thanks for your support.

[Auror.]

I'm a bit unsure what to say at the moment but I hope you get some answers about the medical stuff soon. That is really scary.

[tamobhuuta]

I'm feeling stressed because i didn't watch my mum eat her half of the ice cream. I feel so stupid. Maybe i should make myself sick?

[tamobhuuta]

It's ok, i didn't make myself sick, i took PRN because I have been anxious all day.

[Auror.]

that sounds like a much better decision than making yourself sick. hopefully it helps.

[tamobhuuta]

Why should I continue my meds when I feel this bad?

[Auror.]

I mean it's possible without them you would feel even worse, or get physically ill from not continuing them. Can you get in touch with your CPN or psychiatrist human to ask them how to stop taking them in a safe way if that is something you are set on doing?

[tamobhuuta]

I think I need to stop eating completely but last time I ended up on a drip, which would be an easy way to poison me. I am conflicted.

[one_step_closer]

A drip would be there no help you, not poison you. It's definitely better to keep eating, surely you don't want to go backwards?

[tamobhuuta]

I don't know which way is forwards.

[one_step_closer]

Well not eating isn't a way forwards anyway. Do you have to be moving forwards right now, can't you take a break for a bit?

[tamobhuuta]

My sister has burned herself, I feel like it's my fault.

[one_step_closer]

Why would it be your fault? Your sister has control over her decisions and actions. You shouldn't blame yourself for things other people do, you've already got a lot going on yourself.

[tamobhuuta]

The past few days i have been able to turn on some lights, not in my room or the bathroom. BUT my eating is worse, I'm having to halve my food with someone, not just have it tasted. And I'm so freaked out about my mind being mucked about with. My CPN isn't bothered which makes me think more that it's all true.

[one_step_closer]

Have you spoken to your CPN recently or has you Mum/someone else talking to him on your behalf? I'm sure your CPN is bothered, services seem to be a bit of a mess right now. Did you get the results back from your blood test (sorry if you've mentioned this before)?

[tamobhuuta]

My CPN said he would contact me when he got the results but the test was a week ago.

[one_step_closer]

Maybe it takes a bit longer. Could you try and contact your CPN and ask what's going on?

[tamobhuuta]

I've already bugged him about it last week, but i might ring the nurse who did it, just to see because he's not always reliable.

[tamobhuuta]

I spoke to J and she said blood results take about 10 days, so I guess I shouldn't judge my CPN! But it's still frustrating.

[one_step_closer]

I can understand your frustration. Is there anything you or others can do to support you while you wait for the results?