Okay, i was just thinking somethings and wanted someone elses' input.
People tell me my dad is/was emotionally abusive. Putting people down, making me feel like crap, i wasn't good enough etc. And by people i mean my mom, my therapist and psych etc.
But i feel like that doesn't count. Like, so what, i didn't have it anywhere near as bad as anyone else who was physically or sexually abused. But my counsellor person always says that's not true.
My questions; do you think it still counts as 'proper' abuse? Am i just being sillly to get upset by it? Am i right to tell my therapist it's not really abuse?
Last edited by inkyspider : 03-06-2007 at 09:51 AM.
The world is an interesting place when everyone you know has their own realities
I will elaborate on this when I'm feeling a bit more positive about this kinda issue, but I know I'd personally rather get hit 20 times than have one more insult fly out of my Dad's mouth.
I know someone that's going through a similar thing. I don't know from personal experience, but I've seen how much it can hurt and distroy a person. I think they are mostly equally as difficult to deal with. It is so much easier for your head to twist what people say to you also, until you yourself begin to believe that it is really true. Then what people tell you hurt you, but also cause you to emotionally hurt yourself. I think it is abuse, and that it can hurt just as much or more. Hmm... I don't know if anything I've said has made sense, but that's what my head came up with. *hugs*
Some of us fall by the wayside
Some of us soar to the stars
Some of us sail through our troubles
And some have to live with the scars
I can totally understand what you're saying. I often feel like I have no "right" to be upset / affected by the emotional side of what happened.. but you have to remember that it's still wrong, and no matter how it manifests itself, it's still abuse.
*Squishes*. Take good care of yourself, and I'm always around if you need a chat. x
Personally, I think all the emotional crap I went though had a lot more of a dramatic effect on me than any of the physical stuff. Words tend to stick around, and echo about my head anyway. I know it's easy to look at others, but this is your life. What you've been through is about you, not anyone else. If it upsets you it upsets you. I know it's hard, but admitting it and working through it will be work it in the end.
Sorry I don't make much sense. But yes, my PM box is always here, somewhere anyway.
*squidges*
I've been through similar. And think similar, have similar doubts. How many SA survivors forums are there out there? And how many EA survivors? One, actually, and that's mainly for adults currently in abusive relationships. *sighs*
It does have long term effects. It does cause damage. Real emotional scars.
I have a bunch of good articles I've found on my Google research travels. I keep them in a file [printed out copies] for when I doubt the reality and intensity of my own experience. If you like I can gather them together, and send you the links via pm or post them in my Journal on here?
Yeah emotional abuse can be seen as worse than either physical or sexual as it usually makes the person feel as if they need a reason to have it happen but of course it just happens and this makes the person involved feel its all them at fault as there isnt any evidence to prove it wasnt. When emotions are played around with then it can seriously affect the victim forever as they may never know wot was right and wot was wrong in their head. Im not sayin it isnt the same as any other form of abuse because at the end of the say all forms of abuse are just that abuse and noone should ever have to go through it. Sorry for the ramble I just needed to say wot i thought and if people dont agree then fair enough but yeah that is wot i see it as.
