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Old 12-11-2019, 02:19 PM   #201
tamobhuuta
 
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It's probably best to just put it in yesterday and focus on today. Thanks for your patience with me.



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Old 12-11-2019, 03:10 PM   #202
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Post here any time you need to, I don't mind reading and responding when I can. I hope you have a good day today.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 13-11-2019, 03:01 PM   #203
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My sister won't go for a walk with me because she says I haven't eaten enough. I can't bring myself to eat more.



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Old 13-11-2019, 04:31 PM   #204
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Do you trust your sister? I'm sorry you're struggling with eating things at the moment.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 13-11-2019, 04:43 PM   #205
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Sometimes. But she had a smaller lunch than me so how come she gets to say I didn't have enough?



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Old 13-11-2019, 05:50 PM   #206
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If she's eating enough consistently, she can have smaller meals from time to time and make up for it later. It sounds like you are not having enough period, and her concern is that it is unsafe for you to be moving more if you are not eating enough. It sounds like she must really care about you and your safety.



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This is happening, this is part of you.


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Old 14-11-2019, 01:53 PM   #207
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A woman jumped from a high place in town. I've been telling myself I shouldn't jump because I wouldn't die but she did die. I'm really tempted.



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Old 14-11-2019, 02:11 PM   #208
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You can't guarantee you'd die as well. I've been told by a police man the worst thing he's ever seen is someone left paralysed and begging him to kill them while they waited for the ambulance as they'd jumped off somewhere high.

Can't think of any situation that would be improved by someone having to wipe your behind and shower you and spoon feed you.

What can you do instead of thinking about this?



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Old 14-11-2019, 02:29 PM   #209
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I'm watching Friends which helps me not think. Thanks for your reply. What you say makes sense.



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Old 14-11-2019, 04:11 PM   #210
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I think my sister is SHing, she's in her room, didn't come to the door when I knocked and said I couldn't go in.



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Old 15-11-2019, 12:07 PM   #211
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It sounds like you have a lot of worries about yourself and your sister, I can relate to how distressing that can be. How are you both today?





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Old 15-11-2019, 12:48 PM   #212
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So far so good. My brother went to church with me, Dad and my sister went for coffee and we all met up to sort out meds. Now we're at home having tea. I'm feeling quite chilled, N seems to be ok.



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Old 16-11-2019, 02:05 PM   #213
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Why am I so obsessed with control? Why does restricting feel so good?



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Old 16-11-2019, 04:45 PM   #214
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Have you explored those questions with your CPN? I guess we all like to feel in control of most things, lack of control can feel scary. But having proper nutrition is being in control too in a much better way. Restricting can lead to even less control over how your body is behaving.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 16-11-2019, 06:19 PM   #215
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I have talked about it with him, he says the same thing, so do my parents.



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Old 16-11-2019, 08:06 PM   #216
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What do you think about what everyone's saying?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 16-11-2019, 08:10 PM   #217
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I feel like they don't understand me.



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Old 16-11-2019, 08:16 PM   #218
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They might not have the same perspective as you, do you feel like anyone understands? I think people can understand the emotions and anxieties you go through relating to eating even if they don't understand why you'd want to restrict etc, maybe you could focus on working through them.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 17-11-2019, 06:30 PM   #219
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Thanks. I might ask my CPN for an appointment.



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Old 17-11-2019, 07:58 PM   #220
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My sister was really brave and phoned the Samaritans then the local MH line. They weren't very helpful but the local MH line said they would tell her CC she had phoned so she will hopefully get in touch tomorrow.



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