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Old 26-04-2008, 10:27 PM   #1
Harley's Dad
 
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A Saturday Night Story - for the overweight

A man was reading the paper one day lamenting the fact that his
doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is an
advertisement for a guaranteed weight loss program. Guaranteed like
hell, he thinks to himself. But lets see what they think they can do.
He calls them on the phone and subscribes to the 3 day, 10 lb weight
loss programme.
The next day there comes a knock at his door, and when he answers,
there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic 19 year old young girl
dressed in nothing but a pair of Nikes and a sign hanging around her
neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss
company. The sign reads, If you can catch me, you can have me. Well,
without a second thought he takes off after her (like who wouldn't).
A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has
his way with her. After they are through he kisses the girl one last
time and thinks to himself with a nod, I definitely like the way this company
does business.
For the next two days, the same girl shows up and the same thing
happens each time. On the fourth day, he weighs himself and, sure
enough, he has lost 10 pounds. Deciding that he likes his rather
more slender physique, not to mention the method of treatment, he
calls the company back and subscribes to their 5 day, 20 lb weight
loss programme. He thinks that losing 20 pounds in only 5 days seems
like a lot, but he is intrigued by what their workout schedule might
be like this time.
As expected, the next day there comes a knock at his door. When he
answers it there stands a 22 year old knockout dressed in nothing but
a pair of Reeboks and a sign hanging around her neck. She is simply
stunning, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. She introduces
herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign
reads "If you can catch me, you can have me." He's out the door like a
shot. This gal is in excellent shape and it takes a while to catch
her. But when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze. She is
wonderful, the best he has ever had. He is really looking forward to
the next four days... For the next four days, the same girl shows up
and the same thing happens each time, much to his delight. On the
sixth day, he weighs himself and, unbelievably, he has lost another 20
pounds. I love this company, he thinks to himself, I never knew
losing weight could be so easy and so much fun.
Feeling much better about himself, he decides to go for broke and
subscribe to the companies 7 day, 50 pound weight loss program. Are
you sure, sir? asks the representative on the phone. This is our most
rigorous program. Absolutely, says he, I love your program. haven't
felt this good in years! The next day there comes a knock at his
door and he enthusiastically answers it. There stands before him a 200
pound perfect specimen of a man dressed in nothing but racing spikes
and a sign around his neck. He introduces himself as a representative
of the weight loss company.
The sign reads: "If I can catch you, I can have you!"

Tony (who'd prefer to remain fat!)




Never surrender.


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Old 26-04-2008, 10:33 PM   #2
Cathy
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Hahah brilliant :D



How far can you send emotions?


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Old 26-04-2008, 10:44 PM   #3
privileged-outcast
 
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hahaha i love it!

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Old 26-04-2008, 10:53 PM   #4
surprising mystery
 
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Oh deary me >.<
Where do you get these from, or would that be telling?



L_M_G is my mummy :) inkerman and razorbladedarling are my two non-identical twin sprogs (concieved on same day) Scabette< cos she has the cutest puppy dog eyes and i cant resist!feeling-afraid< my bottle of glitter!! which i just have to have :Pmidnight stars< my gorgeous sister, whom i love to bits ;) Dance With The Fairy< *star*gazing*buddie :] Broken-Fairy is my partner in crime ;) little_miss is my real life saviour PaperClip is my stationary queen



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Old 26-04-2008, 11:09 PM   #5
Altaz
 
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Love it! Great one 'Harley's dad'!!! hehe



Not Waving...


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Old 26-04-2008, 11:16 PM   #6
all-hope.lost-forever
Trying to save myself from myself.
 
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hehe!








Feel free to PM me anytime!


R.I.P Spencer <3 - I'll miss you!

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Old 26-04-2008, 11:20 PM   #7
Heidi Tiger
Loon NOS
 
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I don#t get it :-S
but I hae had a bottle of wine...oops





Reality leaves a lot to the imagination


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Old 26-04-2008, 11:29 PM   #8
Wonderful.
Pathetic.
 
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Hehe awesome :p




~Beauty without intellence, is a materpiece painted on a napkin.~
Thank you for everything


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Old 26-04-2008, 11:36 PM   #9
XxXflowerfairyXxX
 
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*Is laughing lots* =D

I saw it coming though =p






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Old 26-04-2008, 11:50 PM   #10
OutOfTheWoods11
I'll let you **** my soul, for a hit of that glow
 
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I saw that comming :P

Good none-the-less

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Old 27-04-2008, 01:33 AM   #11
Mandimoo
Mummy!!
 
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tony....
if ya can catch me you can have me :p



Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER

Mand x

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Old 27-04-2008, 01:36 AM   #12
Bitter_Angel
*First Aid Advisor*
 
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ha also saw it, but still good.




Eva. Gone, but never forgotten 27.3.10

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Old 27-04-2008, 04:25 AM   #13
sparkle.
iwannabreakfree
 
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haha !!




Happy girls are the prettiest girls






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Old 27-04-2008, 06:25 AM   #14
effervescence
tired
 
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excellent



Even as the stone of the fruit must break
that its heart may stand in the sun,
so must you know pain.

There are only two ways in which one can live their life. One is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is.


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Old 27-04-2008, 06:33 AM   #15
risenfromperdition
you are loved and beautiful :)
 
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Location: hogwarts ^.^

haha!!!!



“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”

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Old 27-04-2008, 11:25 AM   #16
Harley
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Haha, that's a good one :)

Harley

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Old 27-04-2008, 12:27 PM   #17
xbeckyx
 
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Haha saw it coming but still made me laugh :)



See I cannot feel this, not matter how you try and in the real world, there's no goodbyes.

Stare at the hands, you know you want to ;).

"memento vivere"


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Old 27-04-2008, 12:30 PM   #18
Heidi Tiger
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I understand it this morning...I am a spacktard after I've had a drink!





Reality leaves a lot to the imagination


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Old 27-04-2008, 12:30 PM   #19
crazykat
Fight for another day
 
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Location: Australia

Haha!!



"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."


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Old 27-04-2008, 01:53 PM   #20
siren_whisper
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Hehe

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