Hi
I didn't want to make a thread, but I'm struggling. My grandad broke his hip in a fall a few weeks ago and had to go into hospital for an operation to fix it. The operation went well and he came out of hospital after a few days, but because of his age there have been some complications. He was sent back to hospital on Thursday night after needing some fluids, and they've basically now told us we've to prepare for the worst. They won't let him home to the nursing home he lives in because they can't deal with drips. He's comfortable, which is the main thing but I'm so sad. Things that I'm worried about him dying (apart from the obvious) include:
Having to deal with my dad wanting the interitance I'll get (my mum's share will go to me, my brother and my sister equally)
My grief being as bad as it was when my mum died, I'm still not 100% over it
My last link with my mum being gone
I know nobody can really give any advice (and my partner has already talked to me about it and made me feel better), but some hugs would be appreciated.
My brother has agreed to take me to see him tomorrow (he can drive, I can’t). I have to wait until he finishes work so I won’t be going until evening visiting times. Not sure what to do with myself during the day.
I’m sorry to hear you are going through this that sounds so isolating and confusing and grief is just the worst emotion. Would it be possible to inquire into other care homes which may be willing to do the drip? Or possibly see if something could be arranged with district nurses to pop into the home, set up the drip and and stop it.
It sounds like a very difficult family situation, it’s a shame to hear that your father is making things more challenging,
That’s all I have to say right now other than I read I care and I’m sorry it’s take. Me a while to spot this and reply.
'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.’ – Oscar Wilde
‘It’s hard to dance with the devil on your back.’ Sydney Carter
Much love, sorry it has taken me so long to see and answer to this
I'm sorry your dads making it difficult
I'm so sorry your mom died, I'm still not 100% over my grandmother actually, I know how it feels ^-^
maybe what Buttons. said?
my mom's uncle needed a drip so what they did was that they arranged for someone to come over to their house and start/stop it. However, the fact that my mom's mom was the head doctor may have caused it to go so smoothly
again, I'm really sorry you're having to go through this
He’s now got a chest infection. I’m tired of this, when I went to see him last week he looked awful, so weak and just ‘done’. I’ve asked my aunt about the drip thing so he can come out of hospital, she’s keeping me updated.
Its just been a long, hard and tiring day. On top of all this I have 2 assignments to do in the next week (which I did get an extension for), but I just can’t concentrate. My tutor is aware of the situation, but she keeps bombarding me with emails because she needs me to sign stuff so she can officially result me for semester 1.
He’s now too ill to come home, even if we could organise something with a nurse. Its only a matter of time now.
Reply my aunt gave me said “Sorry honey but I don’t think he’s going to come through this, it’s just a matter of time now.” He’s too tired to have visitors except my aunt and uncle, everyone else has been told not to visit.
I'm trying to look after myself as best I can. I'm still managing to do things I should, like sleep, eat, get up and do my school work, etc. I'm visiting my dad at the moment so he's looking after me, although to be honest it's more like I'm looking after him lol.
I just feel incredibly sad. It's not really anything to do with him dying because he's old and he's lived his life, and I don't want him to be in any pain (which he clearly was before he went into hospital). It's more the fact that I'm going to lose yet another member of my family, and when is death going to leave me alone for a few years and let things settle? First my mum, then my gran, now him. It just feels never ending, I'm going to lose every single person I love and it sucks. I know there's nothing I can do about it (aside from making sure I die first which isn't really an option because yeah, I have a lot of things to live for), but it just feels pointless sometimes. Why do we love if eventually, in whatever way, that love will leave us? What is the point in being alive, only to suffer? I don't want to suffer anymore.
I'm so very sorry about your Grandad. If it helps I remember when I lost mine and I remember how terrible I felt. Please look after yourself. I hope you have people around you x
I do have people around me. I have my partner and my cats, and this past week I was at my dads. Came home on Sunday.
It’s difficult to take time to myself though. My tutor at college knows what is going on but she’s not giving me much wriggle room with things. I had to go to placement today. I did enjoy it, but I’m absolutely shattered and I still have 2 essays to write.
Sending u massive hugs l am so sorry about ur mum grandad n gran. When I was younger I lost 2 people in about nine months and felt like I was cursed or something coz my loved ones kept dying. Will be thinking of u take care
I'm glad you have had some family to support you (humans and creatures).
I think the hard thing with school is that while they can understand that things happen outside of school, there is only so much they can accommodate before things just have to get turned in. I know it sucks and it can be really hard to balance. You told me that you enjoy your placement, so hopefully getting back into a bit more of your normal routine might be good?
Thinking of you.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
She gave me until Sunday to get both essays in. That's doable, I was planning on using the weekend to blast through them anyway.
I still don't know when his funeral is, so things feel a bit up in the air still. I think once the funeral happens, things will start to go back to normal, I hope so anyway.
