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Old 01-07-2011, 11:30 AM   #81
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my dad automatically assumed i wanted to kill myself when he found out. >.<

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Old 01-07-2011, 12:04 PM   #82
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I've had quite a few comments from my family, they are really nice people, it's just that they really didn't understand, and sometimes their idea of funny was a little off.
When mom first found out:

"What are you going to tell your children?"
I'm 16 and I don't have children, do you really want to bring this up with me now?

"You'll have to wear longsleeves and never go swimming"
After hinding it from you for 2 years, I sorta realised that...

"Is it really bad?"
How on earth am I supposed to answer that? Should it be?

And about a year later: "I still don't get why you do it *immatates me* hmm I bord what should I do?"
Seriosly? You think I do this because I'm bord! That makes sense you know, cause it's just SOO entertaining. (I think mom was attempting humour thogh)

And from my sister
"Your scars arn't that bad, you don't need to worry about them"
Now I feel like a idoit

"I totally get that you cut yourself, but why'd you have to do it so deep?"
It's not deep, and given your question I doubt you understand at all, depth has nothing to do with it.

And worst of all was something she said to mom, infront of me, before mom knew about my si
sister:*my name* wants to be a cutter
mom: What, why?
sister: she wants to be a doctor so she can cut people

It is my dream to be a doctor, this made me so sad. I was TERRIFIED of mom finding out, and then to insult me like that. She thought it was really funny. When I confronted her about it later she said that I was being "Over sensitive". Grrrrrrr


Last edited by castaway : 01-07-2011 at 12:07 PM. Reason: typo
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Old 01-07-2011, 01:37 PM   #83
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Some of the comments from friends/family you can kind of expect their ignorance. But comments from doctors, nurses and even specific mental health professiaonls! I think it's absolutely disgusting



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Old 01-07-2011, 02:47 PM   #84
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My gran pretty much said to my mum and myself ' Well it's normal to cut yourself and do things like that. I mean everyone doing it' When my dad first found out i had the ' I have seen self harm and it is sick!' I have had a lecturer at college tell us how he was getting really stressed out with something and he pulled down his sleeve , so you could see he wrist and did the action of having a blade and cutting his wrist while say ' argghh' The class of laugh i felt really uneasy. When i used to harm on my lower arm i wore a jacket all the time but my scars faded and couldn't be seen so i would take my jacket off and one girl said ' Oh look lauren i see you have your arms out' to which the whole class looked at me and my tutor actually left her seat and came to see me to make sure there were no scars showing! The girl who said that comment knew i sh-ed.

I rang up NHS Direct for help once and i pretty much said ' I have hurt my hand and i just need some help' He must have brought up my file as a few minutes later he said ' Seems like your hands are the main target lauren'


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Old 01-07-2011, 05:56 PM   #85
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"What are you going to tell your children?"
Augh, I HATE that one (and variations on it). My mother said something very similar, except while screaming at me: "Some day your little girl is going to ask 'mommy, where did you get those horrible, disgusting scars?' and what the **** are you going to tell her?!"

Even though I'm only 18, I'm already determined never to have kids, because I'm terrified of becoming the sort of parent that she is. Plus, I've already told her that I don't "want" children (that's a lie, though, because I do want kids some day possibly) and that, since I'm bi, I might end up with a female partner and so they'd be **** out of luck then. Of course all of this is ignored...the last time my mom even acknowledged that I'm not straight was when I was 13 and she hacked into my Myspace profile and made me take down the part that said I was bi...



"You cannot take what you have not given, and you must give yourself." -Shevek, The Dispossessed(Ursula K. LeGuin)

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Old 01-07-2011, 08:19 PM   #86
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Is my favourite thread choley :)

and damn, some of those things are harsh!

my social worker has said some of the worst to me, but now i dont take any notice, she admitted she has no idea what she is dealing with when it comes to SH, that kinda annoyed the hell outa me as since she is so tactless sometimes.



http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?p=2851063#post2851063 <<< loving this thread!!


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Old 01-07-2011, 09:04 PM   #87
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"So what's happened to make you feel this way today?"
Umm..I don't know...nothing..

"You've had a good life, you've got a good family - some people are in such horrible situations, they have nothing - do you ever think about that?"
Ugh, thanks. Trying to guilt-trip me out of self-harming isn't gunna make me feel any better whatsoever, trust me.

"But...I thought you were a Christian?"
....

My mum is so..ugh when it comes to buying clothes. She knows about it, but she'll still always find me all the tops with short sleeves and be like...
"Oh this would look lovely...get this one." So many times. Also, "it's so hot - take your cardigan off" is another one that she likes to use.

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Old 01-07-2011, 09:19 PM   #88
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"There are better ways to get attention than this!!"

The reaction I get at times from my parents.



Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson
"I hear those voices that will not be drowned"
Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
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Old 01-07-2011, 09:55 PM   #89
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"But...I thought you were a Christian?"
I get that sometimes... makes me feel like I sinned so much I wanted to just disappear so I could not be in Hell.

Wow... I wish people would be more sensitive though... especially doctors and professionals :/



So many people are looking to me to be strong and to fight, but I'm just surviving.
The mirror can lie...doesn't show you what's inside. It's amazing what you can hide, just by putting on a smile.

Please feel free to PM me if you need to talk... I'll always listen.

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Old 01-07-2011, 10:54 PM   #90
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carousel View Post

"But...I thought you were a Christian?"
....
It would absolutely kill me if someone said that to me. ugh I hate people!



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Old 01-07-2011, 11:07 PM   #91
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carousel View Post
"But...I thought you were a Christian?"
lost count of how many times someone from church and outside of church has said this to me





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Old 01-07-2011, 11:38 PM   #92
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My mum said to me: "I noticed some scratches on your arms." Then there was a long silence while she just looked at me, waiting for me to say something.

It was like she was expecting me to say "Yes mum, I have scratches on my arms. I did them myself. I do it when I'm upset. Want to see?" What was I supposed to say to that? I would have been better if she'd just said straight out, "Have you been cutting yourself?"



I think I'll try...

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Old 02-07-2011, 12:18 AM   #93
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mayhem View Post
^
When people joke about it, saying stuff like 'God, kill me now', or 'I'm so stressed I might just kill myself'. I mean, you know they arent serious, but when YOU actually are its just bad.
Actually I say stuff like that because I mean it but everyone thinks I'm joking.



We are only people, and people aint perfect. So why do you exspect me to be.

You can't hurt me more than I hurt myself so why do you keep trying?

Wishing everyone Good luck with whatever they are going through. x

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Old 02-07-2011, 03:58 AM   #94
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One of my friends who knew i SH was feeling down one day. I asked her if she was okay in an attempt to comfort her. She replied:

"Yeah i'm okay. Haha. If it were you though, you'll have a zillion scratches on yourself already."

And the usual:
"Your life is good, why are you doing this? There are so many more who are in a worse-off situation than you and you dont see them complaining about it."

"Promise me that you wouldnt do that anymore. I'm not going to leave until you promise me."

Urgh.. and it kinda pisses me off when people make suicidal/cutting jokes in front of me, makes me really uncomfortable. They dont know that i SH though, so i guess that's forgivable.



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Old 02-07-2011, 04:47 AM   #95
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My cousin who knew I was depressed said to me "it would be hilarious if you topped yourself". as if I hadn't already got a list of reasons to do it.



A world without Light would be dark.

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Old 02-07-2011, 07:10 AM   #96
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carousel View Post
My mum is so..ugh when it comes to buying clothes. She knows about it, but she'll still always find me all the tops with short sleeves and be like...
"Oh this would look lovely...get this one." So many times. Also, "it's so hot - take your cardigan off" is another one that she likes to use.
My mom's the same. It's just… so uncomfortable to go shopping with her. She knows I have scars and still she tells me to try on short sleeved or stomach-showing tops or short dresses… I can't just tell her that 'look, I have scars/cuts'. I just end up lying. I don't like the print or its too heavy, etc. HATE IT.



Silence can be golden but gold can sometimes suffocate
Like that girl in that James Bond film, too late to respirate
Tragedy can be plain to see with lights and sirens
But sometimes it ain't quite so clear, Domestic Silence

~Scroobius Pip


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Old 02-07-2011, 11:27 AM   #97
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Originally Posted by Susu. View Post
'You're the same age as my daughter... I would want to know'
I used to get that from school counsellors and GPs ALL THE TIME. Luckily I'm older now and they've stopped going on about it.



Even as the stone of the fruit must break
that its heart may stand in the sun,
so must you know pain.

There are only two ways in which one can live their life. One is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as though everything is.


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Old 02-07-2011, 04:21 PM   #98
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"But your life is so good, you have so much to live for."

Great way of making me feel worse about it, AND it's not like anyone else has experienced what I have. Some people really have no idea about the kinds of things that go on behind closed doors.



Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world awaits in darkness for the light that is you.

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Old 02-07-2011, 05:23 PM   #99
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i have had lots of things said to me which were inappropriate. probably the worst one was when i had OD'd and i was in A&E and i was in a right state and they couldnt get any blood out and this doctor says to me " it looks like you are good at it so why dont i just give you a scalpel and you can have a go" in response to the state of my arms. i was shocked and upset.


Last edited by hannah93 : 02-07-2011 at 05:31 PM. Reason: changed a bit
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Old 02-07-2011, 06:24 PM   #100
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Some of these are awful...so many people just don't understand and therefore don't really think about what they say. I've been pretty lucky myself with people saying innapropriate things, as really nobody's said anything so bad. I'll try and think of a few.

What are you, insane?

That was my mother.

Why do you do it? I thought you'd stopped and we'd sorted this out.

Is this a cry for attention?

I don't know if I can deal with you anymore. If you keep self-harming I might have to stop talking to you. In those words, more or less.

You need to stop. Write "self-harm" on a piece of paper and rip it up.

Overall people have been pretty understanding, and not many people know at all. The comment about being insane was thankfully the worst I had, and that was coming from somebody who self-harmed herself once. Mostly the things which have been said to me were fairly good-natured but just showed that they didn't really understand. I don't really have much of a problem with that, as you can't really expect everybody to understand it, as long as they're not horrible about it. A friend who knows seemed to be convinced, though, that ripping up a piece of paper was saying goodbye to self-harm for once and all.

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