Live Help


Forum Jump
Post New Thread  Reply
Old 22-08-2016, 12:09 AM   #1
TinkerDebs
*hugs*
 
TinkerDebs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: UK; South East
I am currently:
Feeling too old for this

Hi,

I haven't posted here before as I last posted in about 2013 when I was younger and felt okay posting in the other busier forums but I'm not sure it would be the same now as I'm likely to be a decade older than most posters.

So it's been over 3 years away and in that time things generally improved, I invested in therapy and my career. Sadly as is with the nature of depression it's a recurring illness and so such a time has arisen where by I am no longer in control of my illness.
I have fallen back quite considerably in the state of my mental health and find that even at my age I still actively self harm. I've had prolonged periods without harm but as things deteriorated I moved back to self harm as a form of coping.

Sadly it's become very difficult to keep functioning and despite great support from my therapist I've had a very hard time getting help from my doctors which has resulted in the prolonged struggle.
I find self harm has been my comfort and saviours during this period and I found myself thinking how after over a decade of doing this to myself I suddenly feel too old for it. It's still tiring and hard, it's draining me as much as it helps me and I've reached a point where I just felt like sharing my woes and so I find myself here tonight sharing with you vets.

I apologise if this is wrongly posted



The Soul Would Have No Rainbows If The Eyes Had Shed No Tears
[Laurel Burch]

Believe in yourself and your dreams. For when you do. You can achieve anything!


TinkerDebs is offline   Reply With Quote
4 Hugs Given By :
Old 22-08-2016, 04:50 PM   #2
EMH
 
EMH's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
I am currently:

sorry you are feeling bad again.
im kind of the same. after so many years mental illness has sapped my energy and i feel too tired to fight the smallest of things.
im sorry im not much help am i. but you are more than welcome to pm me or chat on here. sometimes its just nice having someone care and listen.

EMH is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22-08-2016, 07:02 PM   #3
iliketea416
 
iliketea416's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Portsmouth
I am currently:

Sorry you felt low enough to come back TinkerDebs, although you're very welcome. Totally understand what you mean about feeling "too old for it all". It's hard when a habit is so badly embedded isn't?

I'm struggling a little for words, but I think I now how you feel. I'm sorry you're so low. You know where I am.

x

iliketea416 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-08-2016, 12:13 AM   #4
TinkerDebs
*hugs*
 
TinkerDebs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: UK; South East
I am currently:

Thanks for taking the time to read the post. After years of illness it's always surprising how hard it can still be. Today my doctor phoned to notify me that I'll be changing medication next month so this provides some form of prospect of hope for things to change sometime soonish until such time arrives I assume enduring through this will be the way forwards. My therapist seems confident that the medication change is the right path for us to head down next, I even feel too old for the effort that will be required to see me through the next month. Feel quite bad for my work colleagues who will have to put up with me like this for a bit longer
Again thanks for reading and taking time to reply



The Soul Would Have No Rainbows If The Eyes Had Shed No Tears
[Laurel Burch]

Believe in yourself and your dreams. For when you do. You can achieve anything!


TinkerDebs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23-08-2016, 07:18 AM   #5
bitomato
 
bitomato's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
I am currently:

Hi
It is hard to feel like you should have grown out of self harming. After all you expect to get better.
Please try not to be too hard on yourself. I try not to overthink how much time has passed since I became.....
On a positive you are still swinging with the best of them that is you haven't given up and are still in the game.
Medication has made a big difference in my life but I also know I need to push myself out of my comfort zone sometimes.
I hope your med change goes well.





~Happy tomatoes together we will be~
You say toe- may- toe, I say toe- mah- toe:
Let's call the whole thing- red

ďItís time to lead the third revolution, which is not to say we want to be at the top of the world, but to say we want to change the world. Because the way the world has been designed by men is not working. Itís not working for women, itís not working for men,
itís not working for polar bears
.Ē Arianna Huffington 2014

bitomato is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26-08-2016, 02:59 PM   #6
crazykat
Fight for another day
 
crazykat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Australia

Unfortunately self-harm doesn't discriminate. Your already having a hard enough time of it as it is don't add to it by beating yourself up telling yourself that your too old to self-harm and you should be over this by now.

What you need to do is to remind yourself that you have been in tough places before and you have got through them so have a little faith in yourself that you can get to that place again. Hopefully the med change will help, sometimes every now and again we do need a bit of a med tweaking.

Do you have any other coping strategies you use when things get tough? If not this might be something worthwhile investing a bit of time in. Hang in there lovely, it will get better



"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."


crazykat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28-08-2016, 02:53 AM   #7
TinkerDebs
*hugs*
 
TinkerDebs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: UK; South East
I am currently:

I am fortunate enough to have a plethora of coping strategies to which I exploit no end in order to reduce self harm frequency. Sadly no end of alternatives can satisfy and comfort me and so I end up self harming. Predominantly i use my alternatives but in the last month or so harming has been the stronger need.
As has been said sometimes we need a little med tweek and I am okay with that, but obviously the transitional period will be tough. Had a pretty bad night so far but sos'd my brother and he came and sat with me for a few hours, something simple but it saw me through the need to harm. Turns out my brother is quite intuitive with my depression now then again he has had a decade to practise.
I know I'm not too old really to be affected but some days it's easy to think to myself how do you still end up here have you not learned anything I guess it feels like being stuck in a time lock

Apologies for rambling thanks for reading/replying



The Soul Would Have No Rainbows If The Eyes Had Shed No Tears
[Laurel Burch]

Believe in yourself and your dreams. For when you do. You can achieve anything!


TinkerDebs is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Members Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Censor is ON
Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 11:33 PM.

Back to top