It scares me

[SilentBoy]

It scares me how angry I get over nothing.

It scares me how I see all the negatives long before even one positive.

It scares me that one day you might realise that I’m really not that good a person.

It scares me that one day you might realise that I’m really not that good a parent.

It scares me that I still think about suicide and self harm a lot.

It scares me that we might never buy the house we deserve.

It scares me that I can’t provide everything you deserve.

It scares me that one day I might not be able to provide full stop.

It scares me that you might one day get bored of our routine.

It scares me that you might get bored of me.

It scares me that you might die before me.

It scares me that I might one day have to live without you by my side.

It scares me that I might not be as good at my job as I think.

It scares me that I might not get the pay rise we so desperately rely on.

It scares me that people might only be friends with me because they are scared of me.

It scares me how I feel tired all the time.

It scares me how some days I just can’t be bothered with being an adult.

It scares me how some days I wish I didn’t have to come home to a baby.

It scares me so times I get so lost in my fantasy life, I forget to appreciate how great my real life is.

It scares me how many things are on this list.

It scares me that I can’t talk to you because I don’t know how.

It scares me that we’ve both cheated in previous relationships.

It scares me that I really am boring.

It scares me that when you jokingly complain when I’m too tired for sex, you might not actually be joking.

It scares me that I did more things wrong in my past than I admit to.

It scares might that I probably did more things wrong in my past than I realise.

It scares me that because of that, people I have wronged might never receive an apology.

It scares me that I don’t apologise enough.

It scares me that I apologise too much.

It scares me that so many things scare me.

It scares me that being scared of so many things might ruin my life.

[Koala hugs]

Hey I just wanted to say I'm sorry that ur going thru a hard time nd have so much on ur mind so many fears I hope things improve for you soon wish I had something more helpful to say but I didn't want to read n not reply anything in case u thought no one cared

[Auror.]

Acknowledging fears and putting them into words can be a really difficult thing to do. Did writing this out help you feel any better at all?

[SilentBoy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Auror.

Acknowledging fears and putting them into words can be a really difficult thing to do. Did writing this out help you feel any better at all?

It did. But it also kinda worries me how much more I could add to the list, I just didn't have time.

[one_step_closer]

I guess we all have lots of fears. Would it help to keep writing them down? Maybe writing them on paper and then destroying it would be a bit like letting them go, or do you think some of those things you're scared of can be worked on?

[nonperson]

Lots of things in life are scary. I do wonder if it's really that good to be adding and adding to the list though? After a while you might end up forcing yourself to find things to put on it and I don't see that being helpful. Not a criticism, just a thought.

I like the idea of writing them down and destroying the list though. That could be quite cathartic.

[Auror.]

I think fears are good indicators of things that are important to you. It sounds like you've got a lot of things going on and there's a lot that is important to you. That's not necessarily bad, but I can absolutely see how it would be overwhelming. Do you have any support with managing things outside of your immediate family?