I'm a month free as of today ^_^ I'm quite proud of myself.It's the longest I've gone at the moment.
I've been really inactive lately,I took a very bad turn for the worse and was hospitalised twice.I steered clear from RYL because I found it too triggering and needed to focus on getting better.
I feel like I am getting better,but I am abusing alcohol a bit.I don't drink very often but when I do...I do drink a lot.
All is full of love : you just ain't receiving All is full of love : your phone is off the hook All is full of love : your doors are all shut
Hey all.
Again, sorry for my inconsistent presence in this thread. I mean to come on here often but I keep forgetting.
I hope everyone's okay.
I've had a very.. eventful weekend.
Went out to see a friend Saturday and ended up completely off my face by around 5/6pm.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : Possibly Triggering?
I had drunk quite a bit of vodka, which was a bad idea from the start as that goes straight to my head. I also took some weed, which was also not a good idea. Ended up spewing my guts up at my friends and they were so concerned they called my mum to come and get me.
Since then my friend's seemed a little bit off with me, and I'm worried I did something to make her fall out with me. I did it to escape reality. I just can't cope right now. Been playing RPG's an awful lot also for the same reason.
The girl I like, and thought liked me is having issues of her own. She's confused about her sexuality, about whether she is into women or not. Even though she didn't appear to have that problem with her last girlfriend. She says she's attracted to me, and likes me. But then she tries to convince me that she's bad for me, that she'll only hurt me. Which is what she's doing by being so distant lately. I'm going to make a thread for all of this, but thought I'd tell you all anyways.
I'm glad a few of you have been SI free for a while. Well Done! I haven't cut since about October last year. But I have gained a habit to... bite myself. I think that would count as SI wouldn't it?
again sorry not been posting much lately, no excuses but please believe me i have been reading and thinking of you guys even when i forget to mention you by name.
rowie love i hope your ok i know things weren't going great for you and hope things are getting at least a little better xxx
hellz and mark well done :)
lorraine anything that you do to purposely injury yourself (including drinking and weed) would count.
well tomorrows my 2nd (and hopefully more productive) meeting with ED nurse, its 11am so i hope that doesn't make the rest of the day a write off. had a couple of melt downs in the last week which is increased usually i just get down and fed up rather than full meltdowns but hey ho, new week.
Hey everyone, tough weekend so I sort of hid. A bit better today. Hope you're all well.
Sophie-Mercy: Integrated/ getting used to each other. Host
Tracy: I don't really know her, but she's 6 and 3/4s.
Ava, counts to ten or three depending on how badly she is doing. Young
Erin: In charge, Erin doesn't feel anything, she just is. Always.
Ferret - I have never been 100% sure how something is classed as SI, but thanks for clearing that up for me. If that's the case I guess I'm not as free from SI as I thought. I smoke, because it harms me, along with drinking and weed. Tbh I do a lot of things that harm me, or could potentially harm me simply because they do. I need to talk to my CPN. I think I need more help.
Oh For the Love of cr*p .
I just got bullied into Giving to charity which I can hardly afford , but the guy was so insistant :(
I wish door to door sellers weren't allowed .
Last edited by Doikers : 20-03-2012 at 05:02 PM.
Reason: to add
I'm still not comfortable in my skin and the anasthetic's slowly wearing thin - Otep
Everyones lost but me! - Indiana Jones
It's okay , they know me here .
Kahlia1981 is my adopted little sister :)
''Courage doesn't always roar , sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow"
Mark what was the charity & how much did you give? I would call up the charity and complain about the person, i really hate these people too on the streets, never take no for an answer.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
Mark, I totally agree with Mari. Also, if you've set it up by standing order or direct debit which I'm guessing you have, you can cancel that with your bank - do it asap.
Thanks Mari and Lotti. *Hugs* He Started off by saying a couple of Quid so I was thinking £2 but by the time I given all my details he revealed that the minimum donation was £8.50 a Month , Right at the end. I'm quite angry at myself for not saying no .
It was Unicef , but he was contracted out I think. I was putting out my recylcling and such and he just pounced (Metaphorically) on me so I coulden't even not answer the door.
I'm still not comfortable in my skin and the anasthetic's slowly wearing thin - Otep
Everyones lost but me! - Indiana Jones
It's okay , they know me here .
Kahlia1981 is my adopted little sister :)
''Courage doesn't always roar , sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow"
i hope you get it sorted out Mark, i hate anyone that collects like that. if i wanted to donate i would donate my way and to a local charity or support group, not by being pounced on its all wrong.
as for me, i got my occupational health review appointment in couple hours, im dreading it. i have nothing positive to say to him, therefore looks like im going to lose my job. i cant sleep, my CPN is being an arse and going against psych and crisis team and i just want to hide away and cry forever.
Qualified Peer Support Worker (2017)
current mental health diagnoses: depression, PTSD, GAD, self harm, bpd
current meds (as at Feb 2017): , thyroxine, metformin, iron, b12, vit d, atenolol, Butec, Naproxen, Nefopam, Lanzoprazole, Bupropion, quetiapine (prn)
Mark call up and cancel it with your bank, and state to them that you did not agree to that amount and that they only told you after you handed over your details. I would also call up Unicef themselves and complain about the treatment and lack of information given.
"Its not how long a star shines, what is remembered is the brightness of the light"
my cpn asked the other day about what i would have wanted from my mum when i was self harming when i was younger whether it wud have been for her to leave me a lone give me a hug... i honestly cudnt answer what would you have wanted???
Right so ..............My Phone line and broadband are being switched over as of of tomorrow to my new place so I'll be offline from soon for a few days , Please don't worry about me , I'm in the process of moving *Leaves out Cookies and Fruit and Hugs for all who wants them.
I'm still not comfortable in my skin and the anasthetic's slowly wearing thin - Otep
Everyones lost but me! - Indiana Jones
It's okay , they know me here .
Kahlia1981 is my adopted little sister :)
''Courage doesn't always roar , sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow"
Cheryl i would also struggle to answer that, as much as i love my family we aren't a cuddly emotional family so i probably would have struggled with talking about it then (well i know i did because i never told anyone).
I'm having a quieter day today, been busy this week, especially yesterday (didn't stop) went food shopping in morning, then had app with my care coordinator then went to b & q to buy paint then went home and did house work.
struggling with sticking with my food plan, supposed to eat 3 meals and 3 snacks which i mostly managed yesterday but binged in the evening so haven't been able to face eating this morning.
I'm ruining the relationships with the only 2 people i can talk to, my only support. Because i'm so typically BPD. I'm so needy. Too dependant. Its never enough and then i get angry with them. They're sick of me now and i dont have anyone. I want to make it better. I say sorry but then i think i'm annoying them. Theres so much going on, i still text because i need them. I dont want to make it worse but i just want to be allowed to go into work and see her, talk to her. It always helped, it was my support. Its been a month. I need it. But i just keep ruining things.
