"It's not your fault. Why don't you believe me?"

[Obsession]

Significant others. Parents. Children. Friends. They all have assumed that, well, 'If I can just make them happy!' or 'Well, tough love with snap him/ her out of this crap'... But it doesn't always work that way. In fact, in almost never does.

So how can we make them understand? "It's not your fault! Why. Won't. You. Believe me???"

My boyfriend right now cannot seem to deal with my SI, and thinks that if he just keeps me happy all the time, he can miraculously 'cure' me of it. He gets defensive, even, and thinks that I must not be happy with him if I keep doing it. Like, it's his fault, somehow. That *he* is the one doing something wrong.

I mean, I'm not miserable or sad all the time, nor am I happy, sad, etc... But that doesn't necessarily effect my SI. I mean, we've all had that one person, perhaps more. So, again, what can one say to a loved one to make them understand that our SI is not affected by how much they can love us?

[sdixon]

I agree, my one friend blames herself because I started the same time I was helping her with some of her problems. She seems to forget that I was going through the hardest week of my life at that point and I just could not deal, and the first time I SI'ed was an accident, it really was.

[eyes.wide.open]

ugh, that sucks.
the tough love thing SO DOES NOT WORK. I had a friend who just got sick of it and tried the "tough love" approach and I ended up in the hospital. it makes me sound so manipulative.. but tough love just makes us feel worse about ourselves and I know it makes me want to lash out and hurt myself because "i deserve it". because your making the people you care about feel badly.
if he isnt listening to you when you speak maybe try and write him a note that says how your feeling. talthough you care about him very much and love how happy he is trying to make you, no one can stop you from SI'ing but yourself. its hard when no one understands that :(
im not sure if there is one thing that we can say to make them understand.. except for telling them how we feel
hope youre ok
xo

[Obsession]

I'm kinda digging that note idea... I mean, he'd get all pissy if I did it instead of just talking to him about it, but after a bit, I might be able to actually carry on a legit conversation.

...But I dunno. I mean, we live together, so it's always, "Uh-huh, and how long/ when did you start thinking about this? What brought this up?" It's like, duh, it used to be a big part of my daily lifestyle.

I guess I'm kind of scared that he'd break up with me if he found out. Heh.

[Obsession]

I dunno if anyone here has ever heard of it, but I am bumping- aka. "Bring Up My Post"ing.