sooo... it took me a while to think of a new years resolution... but i've come up with a good one, and invite you to join me :)
every day you're on ryl, try to send two PMs.
PM #1: a support/i care PM. pretty much, you find someone who is struggling (even if the only clue is that their status is "needs hugs") and just send them a PM saying "HUGS" or "i read and care" (and decorate it if you want, have some fun)... you don't need to put in ANY advice. the goal is just to let someone know that you saw they're struggling and took a minute to do something small about it.
PM #2: a good job PM. find someone new each day who wrote a supportive reply to someone on the forums and send them a PM to say, "hey, you did a good job on that thread" or "what you said on that thread helped me out too". the idea is to send the message to someone who might not be getting positive reinforcement otherwise...
simple, right? but you take 5 min and you make 2 people's days much much better! and hey, you might get into a conversation and meet some new people in the process :)
edit: i did mine for today and it actually took around 30 secs a piece... so it isn't even 5 min. i also think this could be used as a low pressure reason to venture into parts of the site i don't normally go (like R&V, journals, less frequented boards)
my personal little suggestion is on the hugs PMs to use the heart icon, and the star icon for the good job messages
Last edited by PassedExpectations : 20-01-2013 at 11:35 PM.
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
This is a lovely idea, Katie. If everyone did this, there'd be a lot of positivity flying around RYL. Why not do it on threads too, so that there is less of an onus upon the person sending it, if they are worried about having to be too supportive?
All I would say is that you should try not to let yourself get too bogged down with this and it end up with multiple people PMing you and it becoming draining. I think you need to give yourself a pat on the back sometimes, too.
i thought if people did it on threads it could easily drive them off topic... personally, finding a random PM in my inbox makes my day, and i suspect it is the same for others too, which was my other reason for doing PMs... and the whole idea is that the message doesn't have to have any support :)
and yeah, i know that like with most resolutions i make, i need to be careful it doesn't cross into ocd land. thanks for reminding me though :) i do need that sometimes
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
I had needs hugs in my status most of the week (changed it today) and nobody gave me hugs.
I did get some excellent support from Mike though.
Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson "I hear those voices that will not be drowned" Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
i wasn't saying that as a "if you want hugs you should do this and you will get them" type thing, it was just an example. even if everyone participated in this, no individual can expect to necessarily get a message every time they are having a hard time, just because there are so many people struggling (and similarly, so many people giving great responses) that there is naturally going to be a lot of chance involved.... please don't take it personally that you haven't recieved a message, it is just like on the boards when we have to try to not take it personally if it takes a while to get a response. the world is imperfect, this site is imperfect, and if we expect it to be perfect we're always going to be disappointed. if you want to help change this, i think the best thing to do would be to start sending messages to others. eventually it will come back to you.
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
please don't take it personally that you haven't recieved a message, it is just like on the boards when we have to try to not take it personally if it takes a while to get a response. the world is imperfect, this site is imperfect, and if we expect it to be perfect we're always going to be disappointed
I havent taken it personally, the point is that I am trying to make is that people will get missed. I am no longer in need of hugs though.
Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson "I hear those voices that will not be drowned" Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
ok, i was worried that you were feeling that people were actively trying not to help you or something....
i do see your point, some people will be missed. but at the moment many many people are being missed, so to speak, so anything we can do to change that, even just a little bit, makes a difference
this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.
The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.
