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Old 25-01-2019, 04:53 PM   #21
Auror.
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Oh, sorry! I think I misunderstood because I know you said you had a thing occur in December and were still struggling after that. I think I thought that meant you had needed surgery.

I do believe you've explained it to them.

I guess my suggestion was more to say that you didn't feel heard and that it was a discussion you were willing to continue, because that's very different than agreeing to take meds. It also maybe opens up that they'll back off a bit too if you continue to hold your ground on it, because you are keeping your end of an agreement by continuing to discuss it.



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Old 25-01-2019, 07:06 PM   #22
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Are you under any medical professionals for your colitis? Would they be able to help?
I know it is a horrible condition to manage at times, I can complete understand you not wanting to make it worse. Sorry I've got no better suggestions



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Old 25-01-2019, 11:56 PM   #23
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Oh, sorry! I think I misunderstood because I know you said you had a thing occur in December and were still struggling after that. I think I thought that meant you had needed surgery.

I do believe you've explained it to them.

I guess my suggestion was more to say that you didn't feel heard and that it was a discussion you were willing to continue, because that's very different than agreeing to take meds. It also maybe opens up that they'll back off a bit too if you continue to hold your ground on it, because you are keeping your end of an agreement by continuing to discuss it.
Mum's cancer operation is next week. But December I was under crisis because no one trusted me to cope with it being the first without dad.

Yeah, I get what you are saying Camden. I suppose the only thing I can do is continue to express my concerns. May go back to my normal Gp too to see if they can help back me up. I'll give them a call on Monday.

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Are you under any medical professionals for your colitis? Would they be able to help?
I know it is a horrible condition to manage at times, I can complete understand you not wanting to make it worse. Sorry I've got no better suggestions
Luckily, because my colitis is medication induced I do not receive any support for it from medical professionals. Unfortunately, this means I don't really have access to the specialists in that area who could explain the issue with anti-depressants to the mental health teams. I do believe at the time of diagnosis the suggested medication was ciatroplam (sp?) but when I tried that my body reacted to it quicker in causing a flare than the sertraline did.

I've been thinking about it more over the last few days, and all i really want out of mental health services is them to help give me tools on how to cope with my mental health when it flares up. But, I'm reallu not sure how this group stuff fits in with that. I'm seeing them monday for my last individual meeting, so hopefully I can express that to them.

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Old 11-02-2019, 09:26 AM   #24
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Group started last week and it was horrible. The first session ended early because one of the women there admitted she had overdosed and told us all what she had overdosed on.

Thursdays meeting was cancelled because she died and they wanted to allow us all time to grieve.

I’m really not looking forward to today because of that. I feel like an outsider, and also like a horrible person because I didn’t really know her and don’t really have any feelings over her death.

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Old 11-02-2019, 07:46 PM   #25
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Wow, that is a truly horrible start. I hope that is the worst over with. How did you get on today?





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Old 11-02-2019, 09:50 PM   #26
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Holy cow!!!! What an awful start. If you feel comfortable to do so, could you approach the people who run the group and tell them how you feel??? I think maybe they could support you in trying to be okay with being new in a group. I also think maybe they will adress the death in the next meeting so maybe it wouldmake sense to attend???? I am sure you're not the only one who found it upsetting and maybe itíd help to talk about it???

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Old 12-02-2019, 12:22 AM   #27
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I can understand NOT being upset, as this person was essentially a stranger to you. It's okay to not have feelings about it/her given that. It makes sense. That's definitely an awkward beginning. Hopefully things go a bit more smoothly from here on out?



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Old 12-02-2019, 01:06 AM   #28
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Wow, that is a truly horrible start. I hope that is the worst over with. How did you get on today?
It was weird. The majority of the session was everyone talking about their feelings over this person passing away. I didn't speak because I didn;t feel I could contribute. Which I know won't go down well with the people running the group as we are supposed to contribute at some point. Even though I did speak to one of them before the session about how I didn't think I should be in todays meeting due to the death.

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Holy cow!!!! What an awful start. If you feel comfortable to do so, could you approach the people who run the group and tell them how you feel??? I think maybe they could support you in trying to be okay with being new in a group. I also think maybe they will adress the death in the next meeting so maybe it wouldmake sense to attend???? I am sure you're not the only one who found it upsetting and maybe it’d help to talk about it???
From what I learnt today, the person who passed was 10 months into her year long participation in the group. A lot of them were close to her and it was very obvious she was well respected. Made me feel uncomfortable to be involved in a discussion of how she helped them all.

I'm not upset that she died, I'm just feeling awkward as it was the first time I met her and that happened.

I'm more upset and worried that I am potentially going to face a year of hearing how other members of this group have hurt themselves, and that is something that I know will not help me in the long term.

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I can understand NOT being upset, as this person was essentially a stranger to you. It's okay to not have feelings about it/her given that. It makes sense. That's definitely an awkward beginning. Hopefully things go a bit more smoothly from here on out?
Thanks Camden. I think it will still be awkward for a few weeks as she will be the main topic of conversation, so there isn't much I can do about it.

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Old 13-02-2019, 08:04 PM   #29
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I can understand your concerns that the group might end up talking a lot about how they have hurt themselves etc. Are there no kind of rules in place? Is there someone you can mention your concerns to?





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Old 15-02-2019, 09:28 AM   #30
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We aren’t supposed to tip share/say exactly what we’ve done if we have done anything. Unless the counsellors running it ask us directly. But, apart from last week where the girl said outright what she had done, usually those types of conversations don’t happen for too long during the meeting.

I’ve been to three sessions so far. And I’m really more confident that it isn’t the right type of therapy for me. I’m going to keep going until my review in a couple of weeks and tell them that I feel the way I feel about it.

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Old 15-02-2019, 04:03 PM   #31
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It's a shame that you don't feel like the group is useful, well done for giving it a go though. I hope that your thoughts will be listened to in the review and you can come to a decision that is right for you. Will you be making a list of reasons why you feel it's not the right type of therapy for you? I know that professionals seem to respond more to concrete reasons





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Old 15-02-2019, 11:28 PM   #32
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I've already expressed my concerns with them about group before it started. I'm bringing it up with them again in this meeting I have with them in a couple of weeks.

Thing is, there is nothing else they can really offer me that I haven't already tried.

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Old 19-02-2019, 11:10 PM   #33
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Eep. It’s my annual performance review at work tomorrow and I’m dreading it. I have a lot of concerns about other members of staff that have been twisting things I say/saying I’ve said things that I actually haven’t that has got be told off that I want to bring up with my manager, but trying to figure out how to say it without sounding like I am causing drama as when I have mentioned it in the past my concerns have been brushed off.

I’ve written it down and I’m trying not to stress but some of these things other members of staff are claiming I have done are impacting on my life both in and outside of work and I’m vary wary that I may over stress points that will make it worse.

Any tips would be appreciated.

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Old 19-02-2019, 11:26 PM   #34
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Hmm. That is a hard one. Because it's hard to bring it up without sounding like it's your coworkers issue (it is) but you don't want to look bad by bringing it up that way.

Sometimes when I approach things by reframing it to be my issue, managers tend to be the ones to say it's not me or give tips for how to deal. I'm really not sure how to reframe that one though. Maybe just that some interactions and comments you have seen have been really stressful to you, and you're unsure the best way to handle that when it occurs? That way you're not outright saying it's your coworkers fault, but more just asking what you can do yourself to manage it.



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Old Yesterday, 07:35 PM   #35
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I hope it went ok for you today.





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Old Yesterday, 09:57 PM   #36
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Thank you for the advice Camden.

Unfortunately I ended up in a&e this morning because my heart decided it needed to not be sensible. Had to take beta blockers to get my heart rate down.

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Old Today, 08:12 PM   #37
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Oh no, that sounds scary. How are you now?





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