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Old 10-02-2020, 09:43 PM   #1
Koala hugs
 
Join Date: Aug 2019
Decisions decisions

I have always wanted children but right now I'm nearly ready to have a child mentally but because I'm on benefits and don't have a job im not sure if they will let me hav an kinda assisted conception at a clinic and it would be harder to get studying after a baby than before but I've not got that long left time wise or at least that's how it feels.i turn thirty later this year and I'm dreading it coz i already feel like there's not enough years to do both or study and have three children before I reach thirty six which is apparently when things can become more high risk pregnancy wise. Just feel like I'm being torn in two and don't know what to do if I had another five or six years before I reached thirty six I would be able to do both. And do fertility clinic s decide they won't help if u don't have a job and are living on benefits . Also I'd have to save up for the fertility clinic treatments anyway (I'm happily single but would love a family,I don't want a man in my life so this is the only way) . Sorry if tmi.

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Old 14-02-2020, 12:50 AM   #2
Bellatrix
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: London

- Will you be able to financially support a child if you were to have one this time next year? If not, what do you need to put in place to be able to do this.

- there are potential cheaper alternatives to IVF, such as at home insemination, adoption, etc.

- try not to focus too much on a life plan. I've realised recently that we almost never follow the path we imagine we will. Think, you want 3 Children and can cope, but you're prone to multiples and end up with 5. Or your family situation changes and you have to take on extra responsibilities. Suddenly you are having to make changes to your plan to adapt to the fact the world is chaotic.

- you're 29, you're not too old. The risk associated with 'geriatric pregnancy' isn't huge, and women are now conceiving later - we are living longer and staying healthy longer. It's entirely possible our fertile period is lengthening too!

- I am also going through something similar (except I would be attempting to conceive naturally). I have an opportunity to advance my career, possibly opening up new avenues that would really improve my wages, which would help support a child and be an interesting experience . I am 28 and I am aware I have more time and I need to just go with the flow a little bit more. But I understand the call of nature is hard to ignore, and it's difficult when primal urges start conflicting with modern life.

- if you are continuing to be worried, you could always freeze your eggs in case you need them.




Imperfection is underrated.



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Old 14-02-2020, 10:06 AM   #3
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Join Date: Aug 2019

Thanks for replying if it's ok I'm gonna reply properly later after my GP has phoned me back. That way I should be able to answer Ur questions moreso than now.

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Old 14-02-2020, 08:40 PM   #4
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Join Date: Aug 2019

Hi gp is happy for me to go ahead. I'm really in a good place and you can't put a price on that.plus I need to save n save hard for the treatment s so that's gonna bring about a change in things like diet and exercise for sure but in a good way.i am going to do this I've been thinking it all thru n I've even told a couple of family members which went well too. I hav a really good support system.

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